I need some help to deal with mean people

Whenever somebody is rude or is mean, I get upset to the point that I can't shake it off and feel that I am worthless and a lot of shame.

I wonder how everyone deals with mean people and life's little upsets. Which one is the best option?

!.Shake it off and carry on
2.Talk to your supportive person in life
3.Doesn't bother you

I shake it off and carry on. I figure it's their problem/something going on in their life and try to not take it personally. Usually when someone is mean or nasty to someone else it has nothing to do with the recipient.

I'm sorry it upsets you and makes you feel worthless

For me, I guess it depends on who they are...if its someone I don't know then I shake it off (most likely they are taking it out on me because they had an awful day or something), but if its someone in my life, and a frequent problem, then I tend to talk it through with someone who knows me well or them. Your feelings matter, and I hope you feel better

I think moving on is the best option. Your life is too precious to waste it around people that don't like you, right?

It depends whether I have to deal with them or not. I had to deal with a very mean group of women once. It gave me IBS. Also, what is their reason for being mean to you? In the case of these women, they were up to no good and I was new in charge to stop them. Silly me for taking that on.

Yes, if you can avoid them, just do. It's no reflection on your value because they are mean to you. It's a reflection of theirs.

Yes, the first thing you have to ask yourself is what is it about the situation that is causing them to act this way? This can be terribly upsetting to us making us more self-conscious but I think it is a necessary evaluation to make.

As mentioned above, your choice will depend on the nature of the relationship you have with these people and what kind of interraction you may have to have to follow.

I am very self-conscious and am one to take things quite personally. I think I jump to conclusions that people are being rude or even mad at me. My CBT is teaching me to challenge these thoughts and to, yes, put myself in the other person's shoes.

So how to handle this. Yes, although extremely hard to do, you should speak up and tell the people you have had your feelings hurt. It is even fair to ask if they intended to do so. Just last night I got laughed at by a large group of people (I wear a safety vest at night when I must walk somewhere). I told them they were hurting my feelings and that they were out of line. It really scared me to do so but it stopped them in their tracks and most apologised.

On the otherhand if you don't have to deal with them again. Hold your head up high and move right along.

People are meen to me all the time. I walk away and never look back

Not sure if you are asking for advice or you want to know how it affects me (us)??

Of course, correct advice is to shake it off. However, I don't. I can't. I wish I could follow advice like that the truth is. It hurts. I never think that it's their issue. Sad and wrong, but the truth.

I do, however, ask my husband. Just hearing him say that the person is an a-hole who doesn't deserve a second thought really helps....

Some ideas that have helped me:

Talk to a supportive friend or family member
Listening to a song that makes you feel powerful
Telling myself I'm grateful I'm not like them (mean) and wont stoop to their (mean, bullying person)level.

Sometimes it seems that the huge majority of people are mean, just out for themselves and out to get one over on you and you lose a bit of faith in humanity.Unfortunately I think our capitalist system propagates this. However when you come across genuinely nice people who buck the norm it makes you appreciate them even more. Try not to take things to heart. As they say , it's not you it's them.

We can't pretend to know what is going on in others lives or minds. We all have bad days, and can sometimes snap at others even if we have no malice toward them. When meanness or anger is directed at me for no discernible reason, I remind myself that there must be something awful or upsetting going on in their lives to make them behave that way.

There is a brilliant Academy Award winning movie that addresses this exact subject, it's called 'Crash'. If you haven't yet seen it please do...It will change the way you view humanity.