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Old Apr 04, 2017, 06:48 AM
HEVL HEVL is offline
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Member Since: Dec 2014
Location: Netherlands
Posts: 2
Hello.

Since I quit my meds I notice my throat is tense and itchy, and there's like a constant lump in my throat. I can't seem to get emotional anymore, except for anger and hate. I'm pretty sure there's a tonload of emotions waiting to be unleashed. I also get this itchy feeling in my belly.

10 years ago I was taught of a method of 'containing' your emotions or at least get a grip on them. This helped at the time, but right now it's on full-auto. Something inside me is blocking and preventing me from feeling what I feel. I seem to be unable to cry, when I try to I notice there's a blockade.

Even when at home I can't seem to let them go and cry for example. I'm always afraid someone will hear or see me being 'weak'. I'm 32. I strongly feel like I should be acting like a 'grown' man and not a whiny 5 year old.

I want to get rid of these unprocessed and stuck emotions but have no clue how.

I don't know what to do to let go of them and express them. Everyone's telling me to 'forget about the past' and what happened happened. I call BS. I still have lots of hate and blame and the more I keep this inside me and the more I keep it inside the stronger it becomes.

I want to have a 'clear' feeling again so badly. I try to breathe and relax but it doesn't really help.

On top of that, there's also a lot of fear and lots of negativity in my head. This is also continually automatically blocked and contributes to that itchy lump in my throat and unpleasant feeling in my belly. Because I try to stay positive, I've no clue how to deal with these negative thoughts anymore. They just keep coming back repeating the same message over and over again.

Thanks. -H
Hugs from:
Skeezyks

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  #2  
Old Apr 04, 2017, 04:38 PM
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Skeezyks Skeezyks is offline
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Member Since: Oct 2015
Location: The Star of the North
Posts: 32,762
Hello H: I'm sorry you're experiencing this difficulty. I don't know how long you were on the med's you've gone off of. But it is true that it can take some time to readjust. Perhaps what you are experiencing is something that will fade with time. If you see a therapist, what you are experiencing may be something that would be worth discussing with that person. If you don't see a therapist, perhaps now is the time.

I was interested in your comment regarding your having learned a technique for containing or at least getting a grip on your emotions. I come from a tradition that takes the perspective one cannot block or contain, ignore or stifle emotions. Trying to do so simply causes them to keep coming back stronger & more frequently. Instead what this tradition advocates is learning to accept unwanted thoughts, feelings & emotions. As it says in my Signature statement below: "In other traditions demons are expelled externally. But in my tradition demons are accepted with compassion." There is one technique you might consider as an alternative to "containment". It is referred to as "compassionate abiding". It's a Buddhist practice. But one doesn't have to be a Buddhist to employ it. Here's a link to a mental-health-oriented description of the practice:

https://mindsetdoc.wordpress.com/201...e-abiding-101/

May it be of benefit.

I see this is your first post here on PC. So... to PsychCentral… from the Skeezyks! May the time you spend here be of benefit.

PsychCentral is a great place to get information as well as support for mental health issues. The more you post, & reply to other members’ posts, the more a part of the community you will become. Plus there are social groups you can join & chat rooms where you’ll be able to connect with other PC members in real time (once your first 5 posts have been reviewed & approved.) Lots of great stuff! So please keep posting!
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"I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last)
  #3  
Old Apr 06, 2017, 04:37 PM
HEVL HEVL is offline
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Member Since: Dec 2014
Location: Netherlands
Posts: 2
Hello Skeezyks.

Thanks for replying.

I think I will contact my therapist because I've got zero patience for reading that link. Thanks for the suggestion though.

I would like to know if anyone else is experiencing what I am experiencing right now. My belly and jaw is very itchy and it's annoying me to death.

And then the loneliness.. it's destroying me.

- H
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