[pinkvilla]

My parents live in another country and after marriage ,I came to u.s with my husband and am working here.

The issue is I feel intense guilt about being here. I regularly go every year to visit my parents and spend about a month or so with them. Still I feel like I'm doing something wrong. My mother can be very manipulative and sharp of tongue that sometimes it is hard to even spend that much time with her. My dad is a sweet person and he is the reason I visit them so regularly.

I prefer working in u.s over there because of the benefits here. I can't pinpoint why I'm not at peace with myself being here. My marriage has its ups and downs. My job is o.k though with my qualification,I should really try for a higher position but I don't seem to have the motivation. The subject area in which I work is not my forte though I have advanced degrees in them and it seems to be a hot job market.

I am giving out all the details because I'm on the verge of wanting to do a major overhaul of my life and understanding what is causing this would move me in the right direction. Is it missing home, no job satisfaction or mediocre marriage that makes me so not at peace being here?? How do I find out??

I don't know the answer to your question, but I will tell my story. I am not married, but lived abroad for several years studying and working. I had a better life's quality, and a good job for a while. However, I had three major problems: first, social isolation, second, the guilt of leaving my parents, and third, the inability of finding a job after finishing my last one.

My parents are honest regarding their negative feelings of me being abroad, and that made me feel very guilty and sad. This combined with my social isolation, and lack of a stable job, has forced me to go home. However, I discovered that I cannot do anything to my parents. On the contrary, I feel we are all not happy now. Less happy than when we were away from each others. I don't get along with them, and they make me feel frustrated. They also feel frustrated of me because I don't talk to them all the time (It is not my job to amuse them. They should have their own life and activities).

I am angry at them especially at my father because in a way they are responsible of me coming home by guilt-tripping me home, and leaving a better opportunity. I also take some responsibility as I couldn't adapt abroad socially, and professionally I was stumbling (I think my social isolation affected my professional life as well because I felt down most of the time and lacked the motivation to improve my skills and put more effort in finding a new job). I think had I had a stable social and professional life, I would have stayed abroad. But I am still thinking to return and establish my life abroad. That way we all would be happy.