Trapped in a Cycle

I am a very shy guy. Shy probably is a mild term, because what happens to me is very strong and troublesome. I thought I am "shy" or anxious around women only, but recently I came across an experience that refuted this, where I was between all-men crowd in an occasion. I was so anxious that I felt all people where looking at me. I noticed that all people where relaxed and talking with each others, except me. Even the people I went with were talking with each others, and left me alone!!. I was silent the whole time, sitting anxiously waiting impatiently for the moment we leave. When we left and I arrived home, I felt relieved but so terrible at the same time. Now I am thinking not to repeat such an experience. This happens with me all the time. Not just that I feel terrible about myself, but also people think I am not a friendly person because I didn't talk to anyone. Didn't even say "Hi!". It is not that I am not friendly, but because I was anxious. But people don't understand this. I feel that I am trapped in this cycle. I know I need to break it, but I don't know how. Apparently, socializing isn't the route to become sociable for me.

I mean, I become unfriendly with people because I feel angry on how they treat me, although probably I invite such reactions. As I said, it is a cycle ...

Wow, you and I have the same problem, I get nervous around groups of people. I can't think of anything to say while everyone seems so relaxed and be able to talk about anything except me. I feel small and non-existent when it comes to social circles. I don't have any friends either.

I'm sorry you're both struggling in this area. I am a shy, socially anxious, introvert so socializing is hard for me as well. I do have friends because I force myself to just do it. It emotionally drains me and I'm only able to talk myself into it about 50% of the time. You're not alone. I've read somewhere about exposure therapy. Just a thought.

I identify, bigger group social occasions are not the best environments for me either - I quite often go quiet and end up left out. I do better in small groups.

Do you find the conversations are so diverse and so many it is hard to focus and tune into any one discussion? Just wondering, this is something that happens to me in busy environments.

My only solution has been to limit my exposure to these kind of events.

When in a large crowd, I will be living in my head. I have to mention this, because I feel it affects my performance: I feel drained and fatigue when I am in social occasions, even if I don't talk or engage. I also feel tired very quickly after making some efforts, like reading. Is this normal? I know this isn't directly related, but I think when I feel tired I will have less energy and motivation to engage.

That's pretty awesome lol, I thought I was the only person to have this problem. It is pretty difficult because in life everything I do I have to give twice the effort. I was lucky to land a good paying job, otherwise I think I would be so miserable.