It was 10 pm, and our parents were asleep. Me and my 2 other brothers (older and younger) were at the kitchen table chatting around. I went upstairs to bring something to show my little brother. My big brother asked me something while I was on my way up, and didn't want to speak back otherwise I'd yell, so I said "shh, just a moment". He said "What?" Didn't respond and just went on to bring my item. While I went downwards he replayed his question and I silently told him "just a moment". I came back, he asked me if I want to eat the sushi or he can put it in the fridge. I told him to leave it to me (Jesus, I hate those micro-management questions).
I was showing my brother what I wanted to show him, and he was on a call with his friend. From there while he was preparing to leave to his room he told him "Hold on, it's just that my brothers are waking up my parents."
Got angry and replied (not loudly) "No we're not, you're also waking them up", to which he did not reply.

Despite replying to him, I still feel the sting and it hurts.
It just hurts, and I have NO idea how to get rid of the pain!

I hate it when he's excluding himself from responsibility and being the "authoritarian big brother" / "vice father".
If I'm staying at home during university, I don't know how I'll be able to put out with that.

So how on Earth do I let that anger go?

[Sunflower123]

By picking your battles carefully. I know you were hurt and angry. Having said that, some things are not worth your time or mental energy. Save that for taking small steps to getting out of there. Best wishes....

[Bill3]

You could simply be with it, observe it, reflect on it, knowing that it can soon dissipate on its own.

(Vice father: I never heard that expression before. I like it a lot! Thanks!)

[unaluna]

Maybe you can impress upon your brother the Buddhist(?) saying, "How you do anything, is how you do everything." If he expects to be a respectful loving partner to his spouse sooner or later in life, he needs to start practicing that attitude asap. Right now he shows himself to be petty. What he said to his friend on the phone was not something he would have said about his wife or his own children. Or waiting until you leave the room to ask you a question - that is also rude (my 2nd husband corrected me on that one!). So it is past time for all 3 of you to become gentlemen - i hope it is not too late!

[Thunder Bow]

You are adding on to much. Drop the add ons and you will feel better.

[Ljj7000]

I struggle with anger too.

Originally Posted by unaluna

Maybe you can impress upon your brother the Buddhist(?) saying, "How you do anything, is how you do everything." If he expects to be a respectful loving partner to his spouse sooner or later in life, he needs to start practicing that attitude asap. Right now he shows himself to be petty. What he said to his friend on the phone was not something he would have said about his wife or his own children. Or waiting until you leave the room to ask you a question - that is also rude (my 2nd husband corrected me on that one!). So it is past time for all 3 of you to become gentlemen - i hope it is not too late!

I didn't quite get it

[Rose76]

You are sensitive; life is going to pain you. Siblings can be especially capable of pushing our buttons. All I can suggest is try to find something else to absorb your attention. Bad feelings are best crowded out by competing stimuli.

If you can think of some witty way to verbally byeetch-slap your brother on these occasions, you'll likely find that enormously satisfying. If you're like me, though, you'll think of the clever retort a week later and past being any use.

Being sensitive has its upside. That's how it is. Any trait can be an asset or a liability, depending on the context. Try contenting yourself with the realization that your brother's tendencies will bring him what those tendencies deserve.