I just wanna vent about this. My parents dont help me when I need help with something. They just keep putting it off. They never seem to have time to help me with something. My dad works but my mom stays home and my mom could be there for me more but she just watches tv or plays games. She could stop for a while to help me with something but I guess shes too busy. And both my parents could be more understanding when I have a problem. They dont really understand me or my problems or really even know who I am. Today it was something important but I dont really wanna talk about it but it was really important. So they dont really try to understand me and instead of getting to know me they just jump to conclusions about me. It makes me mad so im kinda mad right now.

[Sunflower123]

I'm sorry you're in this position. My daughter says I'm like a helicopter parent....always trying to solve her problems and to just back off. I'm sure your parents love you very much. Could you sit down with them individually or together and talk about this?

[Depletion]

I'm really sorry to hear that you don't feel understood by your parents--that's really hard and really painful. I had a very similar issue with mine. I think that a lot of people don't really get how painful that can be. Being seen and understood are really important. You have every right to feel upset about this.

Do you have anyone else in your life who is older than you who understands you?

Originally Posted by Depletion

I'm really sorry to hear that you don't feel understood by your parents--that's really hard and really painful. I had a very similar issue with mine. I think that a lot of people don't really get how painful that can be. Being seen and understood are really important. You have every right to feel upset about this.

Do you have anyone else in your life who is older than you who understands you?

Right now the only person I feel like is trying to understand me who is older than me is my therapist that I've been seeing but I just recently started seeing her. Most people who are older than me are just judging me cause im young without getting to know me. People like to jump to conclusions about me not just older people but a bunch of people and then I dont feel like anyone wants to get to know me and then that just makes me feel alone. But people will say I shouldnt be affected by other people and I should just make myself feel happy but I dont think it should always be that way. When people say things like that its just makes the lonliness worse. I want to be affected by other people sometimes cause I want them to undetstand me and I wanna be with people. I just wish people would care more about how they make me feel cause I dont wanna be just all alone. The idea of being all alone really bothers me a lot.

[Depletion]

Originally Posted by ExplodingSun56

Right now the only person I feel like is trying to understand me who is older than me is my therapist that I've been seeing but I just recently started seeing her. Most people who are older than me are just judging me cause im young without getting to know me. People like to jump to conclusions about me not just older people but a bunch of people and then I dont feel like anyone wants to get to know me and then that just makes me feel alone. But people will say I shouldnt be affected by other people and I should just make myself feel happy but I dont think it should always be that way. When people say things like that its just makes the lonliness worse. I want to be affected by other people sometimes cause I want them to undetstand me and I wanna be with people. I just wish people would care more about how they make me feel cause I dont wanna be just all alone. The idea of being all alone really bothers me a lot.

I totally understand what you are saying about people telling you not to be effected by other people. People who say that kind of thing don't really understand how human relating works. Because humans are so social we do get bothered by the way other people treat us. It is natural to be concerned about those things--it's how we form and maintain relationships. The downside to this of course is that sometimes we get inundated with messages that are hurtful, painful, and sometimes damaging. I don't know totally what to do about those kinds of things when they get to be too much, but therapy can be helpful.

For what it's worth I care about how my posts make you feel. But you are right that it isn't always easy to find people who are attentive to the ways that they impact us. It takes a lot of "people sorting," I've found to find the good ones. ******, but true.

I think that it is great that you want so much to have meaningful relationships with others. You also seem to be a very emotionally aware person. Has your therapist picked up on this?

[Monarch Butterfly]

I'm sorry to hear your parents don't understand you. Is it possible to have a chat with them and explain how hurt you feel? If not do you have a relative you trust?

Originally Posted by Depletion

I totally understand what you are saying about people telling you not to be effected by other people. People who say that kind of thing don't really understand how human relating works. Because humans are so social we do get bothered by the way other people treat us. It is natural to be concerned about those things--it's how we form and maintain relationships. The downside to this of course is that sometimes we get inundated with messages that are hurtful, painful, and sometimes damaging. I don't know totally what to do about those kinds of things when they get to be too much, but therapy can be helpful.

For what it's worth I care about how my posts make you feel. But you are right that it isn't always easy to find people who are attentive to the ways that they impact us. It takes a lot of "people sorting," I've found to find the good ones. ******, but true.

I think that it is great that you want so much to have meaningful relationships with others. You also seem to be a very emotionally aware person. Has your therapist picked up on this?

I dont know some people say im hard to read. I probably look pretty calm to other people. Im a pretty quiet person. It can be hard to express myself in words but I've gotten better over the years. I need to think for a bit to get my thoughts together. If I tried expressing myself any other way I probably wouldn't be understood. Thats why words are good. But it can be hard to express yourself using words. What makes me seem like an emotionally aware person? I wasnt sure if I was that emotionally aware of people.

Originally Posted by Monarch Butterfly

I'm sorry to hear your parents don't understand you. Is it possible to have a chat with them and explain how hurt you feel? If not do you have a relative you trust?

I dont know its hard to talk when you have a hard time trusting other people about how you feel. There might be some relative that I could talk to. The thing is when I go to do it the words aren't always there to really explain how im feeling.

[MickeyCheeky]

I'm really sorry you're struggling with your parents. It's a good thing you have a therapist - perhaps you could talk with her about this problem. She's there to help you after all. Other relatives in the family could help, as well. I know it's hard, but try your best to express how are you feeling

[Depletion]

Originally Posted by ExplodingSun56

I dont know some people say im hard to read. I probably look pretty calm to other people. Im a pretty quiet person. It can be hard to express myself in words but I've gotten better over the years. I need to think for a bit to get my thoughts together. If I tried expressing myself any other way I probably wouldn't be understood. Thats why words are good. But it can be hard to express yourself using words. What makes me seem like an emotionally aware person? I wasnt sure if I was that emotionally aware of people.

Well there are a lot of things that make me think you are emotionally aware. For one thing in your OP you seem to notice the behavior of your parents a lot. You also have a sense for what the healthy outcome in the situation should be. Not everyone picks up on those kinds of things. Sometimes people know that something is wrong, and it bothers them, but they aren't sure what would make it better or what would be healthier.

I also looked at your posting history a little. You seem very bothered by how people treat each other. To me that suggest that you are sensitive and paying attention to how things unfold socially. You also asked a questions about black and white thinking and in one of your posts you mention how extremes can be important and how gray can be its own extreme. This suggests you are able to think about emotional concepts in a complex way, and tend to evaluate things a lot.

Another thing you have mentioned is that you are socially anxious. Often times people who have social anxiety are emotionally perceptive people. The problem however is that they spend so much time reading social situations and thinking about all of the things that could go wrong that they get overwhelmed and decided not to engage at all. The good news though is that a sense of that kind of thing can also help you know what the right thing to do is. But taking the risk and finding out if you can succeed might feel like too much for you right now because you are struggling with your self confidence (but that is something that can get better with good therapy).

I think that you might be the kind of person who is more aware of how others feel than how you yourself feel. Not an uncommon problem, really. That kind of thing can stem from living in a situation where you are expected to be aware of how other people are feeling all the time, but no one reflects back to you the way that you are feeling. A therapist who can reflect back to you how you are feeling and who notices who you are as a person might be very important for you.

[eunice0303]

I'm sorry you're going through that. It's really difficult to initiate and ask for help. And it's even more difficult to cope with problems if the person you asked for help doesn't provide. I'm not saying people are obligated to help and that we're entitled for others to help us, but it is important for us to ask and then receive...

I'm experiencing something similar, except it's my dad who doesn't care and even antagonizes me just by the way he treats me and looks at me. Whenever we interact, I always feel like I'm some kind of pest or bug and he looks at me like I am exactly that. And he even knows that I have anxiety and depression, so he's pretty crappy in that sense. I know he also has his own issues, but he brings other people down and it really sucks because I don't feel safe or supported in any way.

My mom is a slight bit more helpful, because she tries to help me by not getting mad at me or controlling what she says towards me. And she doesn't see me or talk to me like how my dad does.

It's really hard to cope with anxiety and depression even more so since my parents aren't supportive and I don't feel safe or comfortable in my house because of them.

I'm so sorry you're feeling that way, and it's hard being not listened to and being supported in the right way. It's really frustrating too when people just jump to conclusions about problems that aren't even theirs and making assumptions about those said issues...

Do you have close friends or other family members that you can confide in whenever you need support? Maybe see a therapist or attend a support group?

Maybe I missed it but I didn't catch your age. Am I correct in thinking you are in school? If this is the case, seek out your guidance counsellor. they should be of some help at least as a listening ear. But they can also act as a liaison with your parents. They can also get a school psychologist involved- one who can speak to you and one who can speak to your parents.

talk to your therapist about this. Enquire of them whether they think it suitable to have a family session.

[Medusax]

Mine were the same. They were old school and didn't believe in "problems". I remember being angry bout something and my father saying, "Well you just get UN-ANGRY, then.." Brilliant, huh? They trivialized and diminished my problems at school with bullying, occasionally even laughing about it and saying it was all in my head. They were extremely un-supportive.

Originally Posted by justafriend306

Maybe I missed it but I didn't catch your age. Am I correct in thinking you are in school? If this is the case, seek out your guidance counsellor. they should be of some help at least as a listening ear. But they can also act as a liaison with your parents. They can also get a school psychologist involved- one who can speak to you and one who can speak to your parents.

talk to your therapist about this. Enquire of them whether they think it suitable to have a family session.

I'm not in school but im seeing a therapist

Originally Posted by Medusax

Mine were the same. They were old school and didn't believe in "problems". I remember being angry bout something and my father saying, "Well you just get UN-ANGRY, then.." Brilliant, huh? They trivialized and diminished my problems at school with bullying, occasionally even laughing about it and saying it was all in my head. They were extremely un-supportive.

Sorry to hear that. I dont like people like that. I hate it when people are that unsupportive.