[topherlee75]

Things have been kind of frantic, really disorganized and chaotic lately. It's all settling out.

But today I'm really really sad and... distraught maybe?

I had a roommate situation I've gotten worked out. I'm ok there. We are both getting something from each other we need right now and it's ok. She has a comfortable place to live and my house is taken care of.

I'm slowly working on my bills and stuff. Credit cards and getting stuff paid off.

A year into a new company and things are going good.

I got hurt a month ago, sprained my ankle and it's healed, but got sick a week ago and ended up finding out I have colitis (do not know what kind yet) and a gallstone which I may have to get my gallbladder removed for.

And I haven't really dated in a long time, guys at work found out (we all figure things out) about the roommate situation and they all think I'm gay.

I am just really having a hard time fitting in. Anywhere. I'm trying to figure out counseling but damn. 75-100$ a session$. I just paid off some medical stuff, all this being sick is going to be some medical stuff I'm going to have to pay off, and I'm going to add more on top of it?

Nooooooo. Noooooo. I just want to curl up in a corner and cry. Why can't I just have a friend I can just vent to? No one wants to just be a friend anymore and just listen to me ***** and me do the same to I can get my frustrations out of my head.

Damn. In therapy I hear "get it out". But where? How?

I'm a mess so no one wants anything to do with me. If I go to therapy, there goes a bill I can't pay so I worry about that so what food was therapy that week? Another year or so, I'll have something's paid off and I can afford it. But right now I'm not letting my credit suffer to smile.

Wtf happened to people? Friends? Life? When did crap get so damned "gotta walk on eggshells so I do offend this person or that person?"

I just want to scream, but oh no! That's a violent outburst and I might get locked in a mental ward!

No wonder we all go nuts. It's take a pill and be quiet little one. It will be ok. Someone will be with you shortly.

Someone just freaking talk to me. Pay me some damned attention.

Hug me. Talk to me. Beat me. Something.

[Sunflower123]

You sound like you're having a tough time. You can post/vent on here as often as you need to and I'm here if you want to talk. Best wishes.

[topherlee75]

Talk? Pm?

Anyway it's just been like I've pushed so hard in life to get to a point to where "I have it all". Well, not all. But you know what I mean.

I have always DONE. Even in a situation I was somewhat restricted I found a way to do. And now, I've built, planned, done and gotten where I want to be...

And now what? I have proved to the world I can overcome anything. Can do and be anything in spite of.

Except for one thing.

I forgot to learn how to just let go and enjoy.

Anything.

[Unrigged64072835]

Kind of a letdown, isn't it? Once you get to a point where you've accomplished so much it feels like, what else is there to do?

I try to be happy with what I have, and sometimes that works. I also do things just for the enjoyment of doing them, not striving to accomplish a goal. I have goals, but I don't knock myself out doing them.

[Fuzzybear]

[topherlee75]

It is kind of a letdown. You stand there and it's like. What now?

Now it's time to learn to enjoy little thing. The stuff I never got to. It's hard because I get so goofy and I overthink stuff and I'm trying not run into my "cave" when people don't not like how I act or when I do something off kilter or odd. But it's just me. And who cares right? But then I don't wanna offend and I retract.

And ugh.

It's hard to just be.

Thank you Fuzzybear. Very much.

What kind of activities do you have in your life. My world really improved once I started planning things out. Spontaneity just isn't enough for me. I've had to grab the bull by the horns so-to-speak.

[topherlee75]

Motorcycle... oh my bike.

But I've been sick and I tore my ankle up right after I got my new one so haven't been able to ride.

Hiking.

Camping.

I like being active... but I'm kinda slowed down and it's killing me. Lol.

[topherlee75]

So

I lost my job today. One I was very proud of and held in high regard.

But things have not been right for a little while. And even though I suspected that it was coming, it was still a surprise. And how it was done was quite rough.

So. I'm jobless. Carless. And lost.

Where do I go from here?

Originally Posted by topherlee75

So

I lost my job today. One I was very proud of and held in high regard.

But things have not been right for a little while. And even though I suspected that it was coming, it was still a surprise. And how it was done was quite rough.

So. I'm jobless. Carless. And lost.

Where do I go from here?

I am so sorry to hear about you losing your job. That must be rough. When they let you go, did your employer give a reason?

If you feel like you are able to work, I recommend job hunting and trying to find another job. If you feel unable to work it might be worth considering applying for disability to get some sort of steady income.

[Misssy2]

Oh man...this has been a bad couple of weeks for you.
I hope how they say one door closes and another one opens...comes true for you.

Its hard when you were already down in the dumps without anyone to talk to

Is there a Temporary Agency in your area that will help you find a position to keep your spirits up?

[topherlee75]

I can find work I think. I have a contractors license to do work, I just sold my personal vehicle as it wasn't needed. Single, was allowed to drive the company vehicle anywhere so... why have it? So I'm kinda stuck with just the motorcycle to get around. Lol.

I'll be ok. At least I was in the upswing when it happened I guess. Or it hasn't fully hit me yet. It has a couple of times?

But damn. I knew it. Dammit I knew it.

[rdgrad15]

Originally Posted by topherlee75

Things have been kind of frantic, really disorganized and chaotic lately. It's all settling out.

But today I'm really really sad and... distraught maybe?

I had a roommate situation I've gotten worked out. I'm ok there. We are both getting something from each other we need right now and it's ok. She has a comfortable place to live and my house is taken care of.

I'm slowly working on my bills and stuff. Credit cards and getting stuff paid off.

A year into a new company and things are going good.

I got hurt a month ago, sprained my ankle and it's healed, but got sick a week ago and ended up finding out I have colitis (do not know what kind yet) and a gallstone which I may have to get my gallbladder removed for.

And I haven't really dated in a long time, guys at work found out (we all figure things out) about the roommate situation and they all think I'm gay.

I am just really having a hard time fitting in. Anywhere. I'm trying to figure out counseling but damn. 75-100$ a session$. I just paid off some medical stuff, all this being sick is going to be some medical stuff I'm going to have to pay off, and I'm going to add more on top of it?

Nooooooo. Noooooo. I just want to curl up in a corner and cry. Why can't I just have a friend I can just vent to? No one wants to just be a friend anymore and just listen to me ***** and me do the same to I can get my frustrations out of my head.

Damn. In therapy I hear "get it out". But where? How?

I'm a mess so no one wants anything to do with me. If I go to therapy, there goes a bill I can't pay so I worry about that so what food was therapy that week? Another year or so, I'll have something's paid off and I can afford it. But right now I'm not letting my credit suffer to smile.

Wtf happened to people? Friends? Life? When did crap get so damned "gotta walk on eggshells so I do offend this person or that person?"

I just want to scream, but oh no! That's a violent outburst and I might get locked in a mental ward!

No wonder we all go nuts. It's take a pill and be quiet little one. It will be ok. Someone will be with you shortly.

Someone just freaking talk to me. Pay me some damned attention.

Hug me. Talk to me. Beat me. Something.

Aww I'm sorry you are sad. Here if you want to talk more.