[sinking]

I feel so much anger inside and it comes out with me swearing at everyone in my mind for the smallest things. Im sick of everyone and everything. So f***ing sick of it all. So mad at everyone for anything. For just existing. F**k

[Sunflower123]

Do you think therapy or meds would help? That's got to be miserable.

[Skeezyks]

(The Skeezyks pretty-much hates everybody. I often listen to Sikh mantras on YouTube. They make me despise everybody just a wee bit less...)

[sinking]

Actually therapy is what got me here.... today more than ever... lost any support from therapy... it is not what they meant but it is what happened... left all alone fighting against everything... crying

Thanks for the link, it sounds relaxing...

[NeedHaldol]

I get being angry at everything.

I was this way when I was younger.

I eventually realized I needed to make a change and engage in life and not shy away from it.

Talk to your professional, read some self health books, create something.

[sinking]

I cant help being sad and irritated all the time.

my Ts have failed and hurt me
my mom is too sensitive
my dad is invisible
my brother is selfish
my cats need me
my job makes me cry
my colleagues are whining
my friends abandoned me
my boyfriends have left me
my house is not my Home
my efforts are useless
my soul isnt and cant be seen
my body is ugly
my voice is horrible
my mind is masochist
my behavior is self destructive
my childhood was ruined
my adulthood is a waste
im too old
im too lonely
i envy others
im ashamed of myself
kissing is disgusting
sex is overrated
relationships are unrewarding
people are hurtful
feeling is painful
thinking is painful
talking is stressing
writing is overwhelming
staying at home is boring
going out is too much effort
summer is too hot
winter is too cold
living is torture
dying is tempting but scary
everything is a duty

what's left?

here im blaming everyone and everything but the real and only one to blame is me...

so, is whatever you left out positive then? I am serious.

Ask yourself how thinking this way helps you. How is it an advantage to you? How is it a disadvantage to you?

I have been a pretty negative thinker myself but little things, like the above exercise for example, have helped.

[sinking]

Justafriend306, thank you. i have taken your question very seriously. at first all i could think of, were more negative stuff even though i thought i had written it all. still, i cant think of positive stuff, but i think i could come up with positive sides for the items i already mentioned. so now i'll complete the list and then will try to find the positive. im not sure it will change how i feel, the continuous irritation, but its a nice exercise, thank you again.

eating is a trap
sleeping is hard
success is temporary
my life is meaningless
breathing is agony
everything ends
time is limited
travelling costs money
hope is cruel
intimacy is frightening
touch is dangerous
i have no money
i have no place
im not normal
we're gonna lose everything
im guilty for not treasuring what i have
i lost my way
this is all my fault
future is dark
emptiness is unfillable

[sinking]

Everything is going wrong these days....
my therapy is useless and painful as i got reprimanded
my job is exhausting
my parents force me to pretend im fine
my ex got married
i think about the family i'll never have... no H, no kids
i have no friends...

i feel so overwhelmed by everything i just want to cry and give up. maybe its time i force myself to see the positive. i'll try to complete the list. maybe this will help...

my Ts have been there for me
my mom is reassuring
my dad is practically helpful
my brother is a good person - even have good memories
my cats give me unconditional love
my job will give me money
my colleagues are nice
my friends have given me real friendship
my boyfriends have taught me a lot
my (new) house is closer to workplace
my efforts are (sometimes) acknowledged
my soul is mine
my body is real
my voice exists
my mind is active
my behavior is polite
my childhood had some nice daya
my adulthood is a work in progress
my age is below old age
im able to be alone
i can admire others
im only myself
kissing is romantic even though i dont like it
sex can be good
relationships are part of life
people are doing their best
feeling is natural
thinking is wise
talking is important
writing is freeing
staying at home is relaxing
going out is fun
summer has vacation days
winter has holidays
living is human
dying gives meaning to life
everything is an experience
eating tastes good
sleeping is restoring
success is good for self esteem
my life is mine
breathing is easy
everything ends
time is precious
travelling is fun
hope dies last
intimacy means connection
touch is delicate
i do earn money
i will get my own place
im unique
better lost than never had
i do see what i do have
im still on my journey
this is all my responsibility
future is possible
emptiness is fillable
my therapy means someone is still there for me
my job is a job (or will become one)
my parents are still alive
i broke up with my ex
im not sure i want H and kids
i do have a few friends if i let them be there

[Thunder Bow]

I like your last post. Hang in there.