Edited Letter

You gave him the letter in person, too?

There's a book called Obsessive Love. It has a chapter that discusses when we are attracted to authority figures. It may be of help to you. I've read the book.

There's no need to apologize to him or explain. Letting things cool down will eventually get the situation normal. Do you have to go to the pharamacy that often?

I hope he is still the same around me as he was before the letter. He's always been really nice to me.

Are you talking about the letter you sent via messenger or did you give it to him in person?

I knew he couldn't read the letter through messenger so I gave him the actual letter when I went to the pharmacy.

I have to go to the pharmacy fairly often. My brother is on about 7-8 meds that are due at random times. I think the next time I have to go to the pharmacy is on the 22nd.

What happened when you gave him the letter? What did you say? What did he say?

I don't always get attracted to authority figures.

I loved a guy who was basically my best friend for years. He went to college with me.

I just got a text message saying that I have a medication ready at the pharmacy. So I may have to go to the pharmacy sooner than I thought. The doctor's office called a prescription in for me.

I had the letter in a sealed envelope. I handed it to him and he sat it down under the spot where he was working and he said that he would read it.

Earlier that day when I talked to him on the phone, I bursted into tears (which I've never done on the phone with him before) while telling him that I couldn't get in touch with anyone at the Dr.s office and the medicine that they had given me to try was causing vomiting. I said that I didn't know if I was depressed or if it was just from being under so much stress.

It is possible that he may just consider the situation a response to extreme stress. He knows that I've been under a lot of stress lately.

I just want you all to know that I have greatly appreciated all of your input. I often feel alone in my life so thank you all for the support.

I mean this is the kindest way possible... but this is what I meant by consequences. He may never say anything to you about it, and he may. You've put it out there, and now you have to just let it be. I would go about business as normal- pick up your prescriptions, and don't make a big deal about it. Your feelings aren't wrong, they are what they are, but he has to do what is right for him in his professional capacity. Don't demand a response, or beat yourself up over it. Just move forward!

I definitely don't want a response. I just want that letter to just blow over with him and for me to just get back to picking up prescriptions as I had before. I don't want him to comment on the letter.

I'm definitely not ever bringing that up again with him. I just wanted to get it out there and actually, since I put it out there, the feelings that I had for him has lessened. So maybe I just needed to get it off of my chest.

I feel so depressed today. I just want it to stop. I can't get in touch with my therapist and my former pdoc was supposed to let the office manager know whether he would see me again or not, but he never let her know anything. I don't have the energy to get up and take a shower. I am hurting and I don't know what to do.

I feel so tired of life. Everything feels so hopeless.

It's Saturday and I still didn't want to get out of bed this morning. I just feel like sleeping. I don't have the energy or desire for anything else.

hope - what can we do to help you?

Just by you all being there for me helps me.

Did you go to the pharmacy yesterday? If so, did you meet him, and how was it?

I went to the pharmacy yesterday and handed it to him in person. Now I have to face him this week because I have a prescription to pick up. I know this will blow over one day. It's just embarrassing now.

I am sorry you are feeling so embarrassed. I probably would feel the same way, but it still stinks.

One thing that no one has said here, so perhaps you have not thought about it, is that he may be married, in a committed relationship, gay, just out of a relationship and wanting to not date for a while,.... There are quite a few reasons that he may not be interested in dating you while not hating you.

The most likely thing is that he will continue to be polite and helpful and will not bring your letter up in a way that shames you, if at all. That would be the professional thing to do.

The questions I think I would reflect on are why do I follow the impulse? Does following the impulse lead to good outcomes or bad? Is the the feeling of relief of having spoken your mind worth the shame you are also feeling?

Be kind to yourself. You were not horrible-you just acted in a way that makes you feel bad.

Op, it's suggested that when you are depressed, you should do the opposite of what you feel. Feel like staying in bed all day? Get dressed and go outside.

I know this is easier said than done, but in the past 3 months I've experienced two different types of exhaustion: the type which is associated with depression or being acutely depressed and then fatigue to the point that you feel you may have to check into a hospital because you cannot function.

The latter was extremely scary for me and the physical exhaustion led to me wondering if I was going to have a nervous breakdown.

I hope you feel better.

Hope, I don't think there is any person that has read your first post that hasn't experienced embarrassment or even shame when they wanted to let someone know they were interested in them. Sometimes, they get lucky, other times they have to move on. That is not a negative consequence. "It just is."

I hope you can get relief for you depression soon. Good luck to you.

I slept until noon and then got up and got a shower. Then I read for a little bit.

I never had any expectations of the pharmacist returning my feelings. I just wanted to let him know how I felt which he now knows.

So actually it's a little bit of a relief.

I actually can't believe I had the courage to do that. Wow.