Edited Letter

I've been working on an edited letter for the pharmacist. I want to ask him to coffee or lunch even though that would cause me to change pharmacies.

I'm trying to find a good way to word it.

How will you feel if he declines?

Didn't you already send him a version yesterday? If you really want to approach him, why don't you initiate a small lightheaded flirt and ask him that way in person? Probably more likely to receive a positive reaction.

Also, I find it interesting that you make lengthy posts about this letter but didn't even share what happened in your therapy session today other than you did not want to go at first (given it's a therapy forum). Is this kind of distraction a really good thing for you? Then next thing we may hear is how your T does not care about you. Not trying to be judgmental, but it's a pattern hard not to comment on.

Yeah, I thought you already sent him the letter on FB messenger?

I can accept and handle that.

Therapy was overall uneventful today. I'm disappointed in that.

I sent him the letter on messenger but he is not on messenger so he may not be able to read it.

He could perceive the letters and messages as harassment. I'd stick with verbal communication.

I talked about things that were bothering me today but my T never really offers many solutions. But he does listen. He's a nice guy.

Did you talk with him about the letter and the pharmacist?

I'm nervous about looking at him in person and asking him. And he is always surrounded by coworkers. I've only seen him on break one time and I looked at him and kept walking.

I discussed the letter with my T. He didn't seem to have a problem with it.

If you want to ask the guy out, it is really best to do that in person. Sending letters looks kind of silly IMO. I'm sure you can find a reason to go to the pharmacy and make small talk.

I've done this ONE time and it was completely because I was horrified of being rejected...the circumstances were a little different for me, but I won't jack your thread.

Didn't this guy decline your FB request? Am I missing something? If he declined it, the odds of accepting a date w/you are nil (sorry to say)...

I usually make small talk every time I go in there.

Maybe he declined the request because it was unexpected and he was probably worried about HIPPA and things like that.

Or maybe he just thinks that I'm ugly.

I think I'm too ugly for him to want to go out with me.

Did you already send it?

I've sent it through FB Messenger but he's not on messenger so it's just sitting in a box he can't read.

I wish he would get on messenger, then he would see it.

Well, if you're not connected, it will go to this OTHER folder. Also, my ex-husband is not listed on messenger, but he actually has it.

Did your therapist know that you sent him a FB friend request and he declined it?

Well, he'll see it when he goes on FB...even then, he doesn't have to choose for it to be "seen" as read.

I'm more concerned about what you say about yourself about being too ugly for him and yet, sending it anyway, in addition to him declining the request.

Do you think you may be a bit preoccupied with this person?

Not preoccupied, just trying to get this letter through. I have too much other stuff going on in my life to be worried about this.

So, since it's on messenger, he will see it?

Usually when you send a message to someone that is not a Friend on Facebook, the message goes to a filtered section. Basically, he won't get a message notification on FB. When/If he goes to this filtered section on his own, he will then see that he has a message from you. I was just inclined to check my filtered section for messages now and found one that someone sent me a year and a half ago. Yikes! I hope this all turns out well for you.

No one can know for sure. I think this is a good opportunity for emotional regulation for you, in this moment. You sent it, now you can't control the outcome.

If he doesn't respond or acknowledge this in any way, how are you going to cope w/that? Are you okay with this?

I'm still a little fuzzy on if your T knew that he declined your FB request, but thought sending this would result in something different.

I say preoccupied because you created another thread about him.