How to express anger

Right now I just hate and hate and hate...Im frustrated...the pain of betrayal can bring such anger...seething.
I just want to break to bits the parts of me that still want to be loved and honored by mixed up, messed up, lost souls.
The parts that care about proof and being believed, as if it would change anything

Betrayal grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr




PS I think I get what you're saying

And a few more

Subscribed to this one

it's so hard to put into words, these frustrating angers and sorrows about family members.

i want to break ties with all of them...almost.

I'm about to break all ties. I'm moving into my car very soon by choice

Good luck

I'm still evaluating some ties...

I've always been in one place, and I don't want to move. But I've had to stop going some places to avoid seeing my moms husband (abuser). Everything's changed so quickly. a lot places that used to hold good memories, now seem threatening. I've thought about starting over somewhere. The thought is peaceful and refreshing; but in my case, I'd be throwing the baby out with the bath water. I'm stuck here, and I just wish my mom and her foul husband would MOVE far away.

I feel the best when I realize I don't have to compromise or "work" around certain people's beliefs and behaviors anymore. I can turn away from a heavy, dysfunctional past towards a healthy bright "now"

Still though, I have moments of intense anger, where I imagine screaming into the roar of an ocean. Also, my ego gets to me, about the misconceptions put out into the family by my mother. People know better, you would think, but i even had to follow up with my brother with some truth. I can't believe he believed her, even for a moment. I guess that's what bonding does, and fear. My mom lies to save face, and to justify her betrayal. What does a mother owe her child and grandchildren? She wasn't willing to pay the price of leaving her pervert husband. Its shocking, because she always claimed to love us so much. On the other hand it's not shocking because she has always been brainwashed and in abusive relationships...living with no self esteem. An example of her general thinking: Once when my son was talking very inappropriately mean and insultingly to his much younger sister, my mom said nothing..in fact she agreed with him it seemed. I corrected him, and had him apologize. All was well, but then my mom starts rubbing his back to console him, like he had been treated unfairly. I asked her why she was doing that when he was the one who had been bullying...she said "I just think boys deserve more empathy than girls." This is the sick way she thinks, and it's not exactly a result of "culture," it's the result of her being used by perverts her whole life. If what her husband does/did doesn't wake her up...nothing will!!! She's dangerous in her world of denial. At any rate, she is an obstacle between other family members and myself. I don't like knowing they likely see or speak to her (though not her husband). It makes me not want to speak to them. I understand they worry about her, have history, etc.
I'm evaluating who and what is worth the risk??

I'm just heartbroken. I'm hurt. I am resilient and a fighter, and I seek peace and harmony. I'm still expressing myself, in healthy ways, which is the right steps.

I have to accept that my family was never healthy and safe. My mom doesn't love me. One year ago, I told my aunt that my mom doesn't love me...my aunt put a lot of energy into trying to convince me that my mom does love me. Why??? That's not love! That's nothing like love. Why do people insist that horrible behavior and betrayal is love?? It's sick! My aunt must've thought she was consoling me, but really she was devaluing my worth.

Anyway. Long rant. Lotta hot air. Don't care.

Thanks for this thread ...

I'm just done with being able to take care of my parents. I can't do it any more. They, everyone but me and my few friends, seem to think I should be able to because I don't have a job (bipolar and even on disability), am not raising kids (they're grown and with my ex, poor dears or out on their own), but they just don't get it. I've been doing this almost two years and suicidal about it for 12 months, because I just can't do it. Physically I'm equipped, but that's where it ends. My sister has been helping since just before I went into hospital, but she's not physically strong enough, and is starting to see the mental toll for herself. Her husband has never had a job, because he's on the spectrum, and helps sometimes only. His parents, mom especially, is getting to where she bears watching now too. If I can't do a job, which is obvious I can't, why are they expecting so much? They've, the other siblings included, all been told I can't do it by myself. My parents finally started to look for help. They've not done so for this long even though they had Brain trust money they could have used, and just let it go back to the system.
There's only so much a person has and can do. My limits are surpassed already

thank you, fuzzy. It's so nice to have an outlet. All the right to be angry..no right to express it to them...
It's been an illusion of comfort to think that theres something I can do to make things right and better with family.
All I can do is what's right for me, and that makes me better.

Can't find the cartoon to share but it says "I cling to my emotions because they held onto me when no one else would"

Interesting and worth pondering. Thank you

I'm sorry you're having a tough time. You're not alone. My dad was the monster in our family. I remember that kind of anger and left home as soon as I could. Then I really had to ponder cutting ties and I had to on/off for years. Just wanted to lend my support. Sending big hugs.

I really want real hugs. So. Damn. Bad.

Pardon me, I seem to have posted this reply to the wrong thread.