Evil, repulsive people.

I know you think little of yourself, but this shows you're not at all a bad person. What differentiates you from evil murderers and rapists is that you can recognise where you might need a little help. You know it's wrong to hurt people and choose not to. You acknowledge that it's not 'good' or whatever to be incapable of empathising with others and seem to have intentions to change that. You definitely have my praise for choosing not to go down a different path... showing how strong you are as a person as many people totally break down, lose touch with reality and do something extremely awful.

You're definitely not a narcissist. OR a psychopath. It sounds like you're experiencing immense self loathing. There a lot of awful people out there who deliberately want to hurt others -- who aren't trustworthy by any means. I'm sorry you came into contact with them, I have too, many times. But as difficult as it can be, you have to try and realise not every human has bad intentions and some people who can relate with you and understand you are okay to trust a little. Otherwise, you might end up extremely lonely which isn't good for anyones mentality.

Please don't think so little of yourself If it's any consolation, I have severe trust issues too and find it near impossible to open up -- if you need someone to vent/offload anything to, I'm available

True that a lot of people who do awful things don't have access to support BUT some people -- the people I'm referring to -- DO know what they're doing is wrong and DO have access to help/support/care system but disregard it for their satisfaction. Sadists wouldn't torture you because it's wrong, but because it satisfies them. Like Jennifer said, some people are born without that little bit of humanity for whatever reason. Some people are naturally incapable of feeling anything from birth and go on to commit atrocities.

It's not their fault. It seems to be more compulsive than it does a choice but it's hard to feel totally sorry for them -- imagine watching your child grow up and suddenly being taken away from you in a heinous way because someone has a compulsion to kill them. How would you, personally, honestly react?? It's hard.

You're right, though, we all are fragile in our own ways and have our own weaknesses

I agree with this full heartedly!

To add to it, the way I deal with this is to have compassion - perhaps not for the murderers, terrorists or rapists in this world, but for those who are miserable, malicious, malignant, toxic and poisonous to others. They are severely unhappy people underneath it all, and spread their poison, wanting to make others just as miserable inside as they are. They bolster their self-esteem by making themselves superior, by putting others down, by bullying, gossiping, and spreading rumors. I feel compassion for them as they are clearly miserable people at the heart of it, and I pity them for that.

I hold onto the good people, cherish them and am grateful for having them in my life. The good people are what get me through.

Perhaps hold onto the memory of the good people in your life and develop greater compassion for those who have harmed or hurt you in some way. Forgiveness and compassion lead to healing, greater happiness and inner peace. Forgive in your heart those who have hurt you in some way, even if it was deep. Holding onto the bad memories only harms you in the end, after all. Have compassion for them.... see them as people with severe limitations. You can feel sorry for them. And seek out more of the good people to surround yourself with and hold onto them. Perhaps reach back out to those ones you lost touch with.

There are loads of the good ones out there in this world. Evil and good co-exist and always have. Like yin and Yang, it's a balance. It's just a fact of life we have to contend with, but not engulf ourselves with or become depressed about, even though it can be depressing.

Continue to seek out ways to be happy in your life, to be surrounded and supported by good-natured and well intended people who care about you, support you and nurture you and these things won't bother you as much. ((((Hugs))))))

The problem you have, and believe me, I get it , is an overwhelming negative thought pattern. People can suck , but on the other hand, there are many more very decent people out there. Since we can only change ourselves, FORGET the other a-holes ! There are many ways to do that. Give one of them a try.

I find people I think I connect with and that are good people, but every damn time they turn around and walk away when stuff gets serious. I've got 4 people I can count on and have only seen one of them this year once and another twice. It's not for lack of trying. They just never have time but we do message. The only physical contact I get from anyone is from a yoga instructor that teaches 1 or 2 times a month but didn't during the summer, and does little forehead massages during savasana. She has no idea that's all I get from anywhere and I'm not telling her because I would be making things weird. No, I'm not interested in her. She's way too amazing for me and it's a teacher/student situation anyway.

You maintain a balance of trust and self-protection.

We keep our doors locked. I keep my guard up, staying aware of my surroundings, watching for possible threat. I never dropped my city smarts.

But I'm friendly to all, always a greeting smile, a humanly friendly acknowledgement.

Most people are basically good and are just living life. Some people are actively looking to harm you. They are out there, just like sharks off the beach.

You're only able to protect you from you, unless you become one of those paranoid peppers. They are the scariest people, IMO, because they fear everything and keep the hardware to face it. Don't fear everyone else. Just worry about yourself

Preppers*

Hi,
Now in my sixties I've noticed a natural trend: most friends are gone now, dispersed into society and cannot be located once again; many relatives have expired leaving me bereft of relationships. These 2 factors are normal with age. Additionally, I've been forced by my disability into restricted income housing--many people here are poor, grotesque, strange--and negative. You'd be too if you had to live at the poverty line! This is another development, the result of my having had a mental illness.
Regarding the future, I can only hope that I will meet the love of my life or make new friends. With all my struggle to interact, I've now got scores of "acquaintances". And that's perhaps the best I can hope for--but in any case, it's a positive step indicating progress. So my advice to you is--don't give up, struggle with your social isolation--put your best foot forward and try to meet new people to replace those you've lost.

I agree fullcactus1234 , also in my 60's I've seen the same pattern in life.
People will come in and go out of your life as you get older. If you have 1 good friend your very fortunate. I've been where you are and have to say it is scary.
I wish you the best. I would though be grateful for even some acquaintances!
Sometimes I'm happy to just get a smile out of somebody. I've found that even though we humans are really social creatures I prefer to be alone , only if I got my head straight ! ( Which isn't often !)