[palsera27]

I just feel like I don't belong. Sometimes i feel no one wants me around. I know that's not true but that's how I feel.

[Sassandclass]

Maybe you could try to find hobbies and interests that you are really into. Then, by default, you will automatically find ppl that you have things in common with.

[MuseumGhost]

I've dealt with a long history of feeling as if I do not belong, because I am an artist, and never really 'fit into' many groups or small circles (sometimes even with other artists.). So I made up my mind very young that it doesn't matter that much. I was always very independent by nature, and have still managed to find others, who I consider wonderful friends, along the way.

I think this has been a kind of character-building thing for me. It's just always been there---so I outgrew it very quickly.

I do like the suggestion of finding hobbies and activities you can enjoy. I've even made friends I never thought I would in online groups, where we share interests in the same things (for me, it's been antiques, and art, and music.) Friendships can't help but happen when you share a love of something.

Is there anything you can think of that you want to know more about?

[notz]

You don't. You focus on being the best you can be and that will give you the best friend you can ever wish for... you! I hope you will be so fortunate. I do understand what you are saying. Put yourself out there like has been suggested and see what happens.

Originally Posted by palsera27

I just feel like I don't belong. Sometimes i feel no one wants me around. I know that's not true but that's how I feel.

For me it's all about focusing on the positive bits and working on feeling we have a purpose to be positive together and for one another.

[Patagonia]

I agree with Notz that you don't really get over it & you need to make yourself your best friend.
That is difficult to do.
As I get older, in my late 40's, I've realized that most people I meet already have these connections solidified & make it a bit more difficult to be welcomed into their groups. It's like HS again!
And HS nearly killed me. Try something new or different. You just never know I guess. But try!

[nikon]

I can also relate to the feeling of not belonging. the advice I have been given is that I should put in the action in order to start feeling like i belong - so, I need to go and hang out with people even though I feel awkward and like I don't belong, and eventually, apparently, I will feel like I belong.

i find it frustrating. I belong to narcotics anonymous and other fellowships, and many people describe coming into the rooms and feeling belonging. i haven't felt that at all.

[palsera27]

Originally Posted by nikon

I can also relate to the feeling of not belonging. the advice I have been given is that I should put in the action in order to start feeling like i belong - so, I need to go and hang out with people even though I feel awkward and like I don't belong, and eventually, apparently, I will feel like I belong.

i find it frustrating. I belong to narcotics anonymous and other fellowships, and many people describe coming into the rooms and feeling belonging. i haven't felt that at all.

That's exactly how I feel. I feel awkward

[eskielover]

My parents never fit in. I didn't totally understand it growing up. It was strange because I would spend my summers with my grandparents in Kansas with my mom & everyone there was so nice & accepting.....so I noticed a difference. Being around an environment that didn't fit in or have friends made me very independent along with being an only child. Then I ended up marrying someone who also never fit in & that always kept me at a distance from everyone too.

It was strange when I was 54 after 33 years of marriage, I had enough & left. I moved across the country & for the first time in my life I could relate to people on my own. It has been amazing because I have become so involved in the community & in my church & am included in everything rather than always feeling like the outsider I had for all my life.

I am involved with the horse groups in our community & besides just enjoying trail riding, have been involved in some horse rescue care with our group.

I volunteered when the World Equestrian Games came to our state & ended up on the floral decoration crew. Many of us who connected with the core crew were invited back to decorate annually for the annual eventing show held at the horse park which also led to other volunteer work & meeting even more people.

I love ballroom dancing & am now involved with an advanced performance class. I wish I had time & energy to be more involved with this group for the monthly dances they have.

I have also met people who are very involved in many areas of the community & there is always some need for volunteers.....so I never know what might come up. I have always been willing to get involved when I have the time so they know they can call on me for help.....or even just to get together socially & have fun.

From my experience in a town where I knew absolutely NO ONE when I moved here 10 years ago, the feeling of belonging has come from putting myself out there. Getting involved in areas I'm interested in & do things that are needed even if I'm learning while I'm doing it.

I have also learned better how to connect with people.....something I really had never learned in 54 years of life because except for my grandparents, I was never around family that was capable of connecting.

One can never get the feeling of belonging if they isolate. Getting out in the community with things that interest you is the best way of connecting....belonging grows from there.

I have to say that I felt lost living in huge Los Angeles all my life surrounded by millions of people who just did their own thing & hardly even knowing your neighbor.....moving to a little town of only 8,000 really helped me connect, get involved, & not feel so lost in the surroundings. I also feel safer which helps also