I don't know what section of the forum it goes into but I just want to rant. I have been trying my best at my job and at volunteering. When I come home, I get thoughts of I shouldn't be here because I'm useless. I have bad anixety and I feel numb and can't really laugh. Some people have noticed, especially my mum that I'm cold. I worry about whether I'll have a boyfriend, children, a decent home. I tell myself if I can't do anything right then what's the point of me being here? I'm not sucidal and I love life and feel happy on my own. I've done quite well on the till at volunteering. I work at a cancer research shop. I can't socalise well and I try to laugh but I just can't. Sometimes it's not funny to me or I just feel numb. I'm worried I'm losing my emotions. I hear voices often but when I'm stressed and other times. I'm sorry if I can't talk, my brain freezes. I don't know what to say. I can't feel much. I can feel happiness, sadness, contentment but i feel numb sometimes.

Do you find it hard to play along in social situations when it feels like everyone is on autopilot in their conversations? That's where I start to feel numb. All the pointless chit chat that makes everyone feel like normal, down-to-earth people is what makes me feel blank, and most of the time, I can't force myself to play the part of someone who's interested in it.

[Sunflower123]

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