Those Stories You Want to Tell

I remember ezboard

and voy forums, and server.com

in fact I had my own forum on voy forums for a while- inspired by my time on the dinosaur website (well kind of)

so when I did run my forum on voy forums (it was calledd the chill-out-lounge) I ran across 2 problems.

the first one was a spammer who went by the name CTM (he was on the old dinosaur forum, and somehow find the link to this new one) and kept commenting to me that I didn't know how to run a forum, if I did, I'd have more members, etc etc, whhich really hurt me- I ended up saying to him look, if you could run a forum better than me, then why don't you have one?

and he's like.. I don't need one. my bad attitude is all I need

and then the school blocked the voy forum website so I couldn't access it

well, it was sort of down to me.. I sent an email round about it, hey everyone, come to the chill out lounge, come and post what ever (you didn't have accounts, you just went on and posted)

and somehow it got to the computer administrator and he banned the site so I couldn't manage it.

I swore, cursed, screamd, everything- I even tried to explain but he didn't unblock it

from what I remember the server just deleted it in the end due to lack of activity

I used to be bothered by the cold, but now I'm not. Now, I can walk up to work in 4 degree weather like it's nothing.

I'm unsure why exactly, but I have a theory.

There was actual research done that showed that somebody who feels lonely has a reduced body temp. This is because, back in the early days of humanity back when we lived in tribes and villages, being banished from the tribe typically meant certain death. Therefore, feeling cold was a response to being away from the tribe.

I think that because of how alone I've been my whole life, I have adapted by feeling cold all the time. I think that my resilience to the cold weather has increased as a result of prolonged loneliness.

When I was a child I had a small doll with very long hair. The hair got badly tangled so I cut it off, and it looked really stupid. I tried to hide it but my mum found it and told me off.

once I was at a sleepover at someone's house, and I really didn't like her

so I solved the problem by walking out her front door and getting lost

well I eventually found a door to knock on which I did, and it turned out that it was her friend alex

so I told alex this made up story about being lost and needing to get home and she let me in, gave me a drink and took me back to where I needed to be. I am surprised that she never thought of telling this person I'd left her house, but perhaps she didn't know, or she did- but knew of my hatred for her

no idea why, but I always called alex dunder toes. I said it once and it just stuck with me

on an old forum I was on (the dinosaur one), I liked a certain poster rank- apprentice

so I messaged the administrator to ask them if I could always be apprentice- regardless of post count

she agreed and set my rank to always be apprentice

then just to add the finishing touches, I changed my username to something with apprentice in it (apprentice16, I believe)

so I was apprentice apprentice

I suppose it was a little embarrassing at first, but it was so cool

People always tell me that I am weird all the time.

I been banned from forums plenty of time and I was never want and never knew why. Someone else lied about a rumor they start and tried to say that I start the rumor.

That was so horrible to do.

That was so horrible to do to someone. Maybe she didn't know at that time.

Wow! I'm sorry that happened to you!

I'm sorry that happened to you! I been bullied a lot.

Pretty mild compared to some of the crap I did when I was that age.

Probably the most evil think I ever did as a kid was made another kid's life a living hell over a Magic: The Gathering card.

See, thanks to my worthless cumdumpster of a mom lying to the police telling them I assaulted her all because I finally got tired of her lies and abuse (and had the courage to stand up to her!) having me carted away in handcuffs as a 10 year old, I ended up in the foster care system for a couple years.

While there, since I didn't have my precious books and video games, I took a liking to trading cards (Magic: The Gathering and YuGiOh). Me and one of the foster kids would scrounge up change and go to garage sales and flea markets and find cheap cards for sale. I lucked out and stumbled upon the Black Lotus card that somebody threw out in a garage sale for $2, which is considered to be the rarest and most powerful card to date. In fact, the card can run between $1,000 to well over 10 grand depending on it's condition.

Anyways, we had a group of people we would play cards with and we later started playing for each other's rarest card. One day, I decided I would play my foster brother for his card and lost. He won my Black Lotus as a result. I proceeded to beat the **** out of him until he was crying begging me to stop. When the foster parent found out what happened, he took all of our cards away. I then, tormented him every single day when the foster parent left for work. I would verbally harass him because he was a crybaby. I would tell him nobody loved him and his family didn't want him back. I made his life a living hell for daring to take my precious cards away because of his pathetic whining. This lasted until he was discharged several months later.

People prob think I was a monster but the foster kids that were with me before him treated me the same way all because I'm white and they were black, and my mother flat out abandoned me to the system so I gave zero ****s at that point.


You try to take away one of the few things that bring me joy after everything else has been taken from me I will make you suffer. Simple as that.

About 10 years ago I was out shopping with some people. While we were walking around, I thought I saw something small and dark drop from one of them. It was from the corner of my eye so didn't see properly and couldn't see it on the floor. It was very busy, loads of people and thought it could have been anything. So I forgot about it.

Then the next day this person said they had lost something. A small object which could have been what I saw drop. I then felt really bad, was conviced it was that, but never saw anything.

I tried to make excuses to myself:
- This person was quite scatterbrained and could have lost the object anywhere
- What I saw could have been anything
- It wasn't on the floor so it must have got kicked away very quickly
- Even if I had known, could I have done anything? It was very busy and it could have been kicked a long way away in any direction, impossible to find

Still feel bad now really. They never did find that thing. So I've convinced myself that it was that I saw.

I have to forgive myself because I really didn't know and it's over now and in the past. There's nothing I can do about it.

The bad thing I did in 2010, I did it again 5 years later, though I didn't take it so far so it turned out OK. Well nowhere near as bad as the first time. I'm always beating myself up about it. Would have been bad enough if I'd only done it once, but to try again, knowing full well what would happen, that was just stupid. But it's in the past, nothing I can do about it. Can't change the past, the damage is done now and I have to accept that, forgive myself and move on.

Also there is another person I'm struggling to forgive and move on from, because he is still around. I don't want to talk about what happened, and really it wasn't "to me" but it has affected me very negatively. He caused the problems I have today, although it was my own fault for letting this spiral out of control.

when I was a kid, a friend took me on a bucking bronco

she said that the cowgirl has to come with me on the bronco, or I couldn't go on it

I was so angry with her I said to her look... are you trying to restrict me?. I can handle a ****ing bronco on my own, I don't need a woman dressed up as a cowgirl to come on with me

eventually I didn't go on it because she wouldn't let me go alone, and we fell out after the bronco insident

this same friend also got me a stick on tattoo

I wanted a pirate one on my arm (shiver me timbers), but she ended up getting me a snake

I was so ****ing mad at her

I'm not too old to like pirates. I will never be too old to like pirates

I was bullied most of the time at school. There was another girl who was also bullied a lot for being overweight. I didn't care about peoples' weights so we became friends. In fact at some points I was the only one not making fun of her.

After school she went to uni, I didn't, so we didn't see each other. Then I randomly met her when I was out shopping and we talked for a bit. She said that she was a lot happier since she left school. She said she found out what real friends are, and "that none of them were from high school"

Sheesh, thanks!

Back when I made fake people up my forum, I didn't always keep them there. Sometimes I posted as them on other forums, mostly that was rarely. But once I decided to use one account a lot on another forum. The admin found out and told me when I was saying something on a thread.

She said it was the same IP address, which I hadn't thought about! So the other forums I was on, they probably noticed there too. I felt so embarrassed. I had to leave that site where I was found out.

happened to me many, many times

most of the time I don't even know (did)

I remember on one site the admin banned me after finding out that I was using 2 accounts- and when he messaged me about it, I told him that it wasn't me- of course it wasn't.. why would I do that?

he banned me in.. I think late 2012

in 2016, I heard from friends that that site was closing- and knew that I had to get back on their (despite having no accounts)

I managed to rejoin, but was very apprihensive- especially after I saw the same admin that banned me was still their

the first day he wrote to me... you know this site well, have you been here before?

I'm like no.... course not, I'm stacy- never been on this site

well, he didn't question it again and I stayed on until the website closed

but now it's closed I'm going to tell him.

he can't do anything to me... the website doesnt exist

another time (also relating to 2 accounts), my brother signed up to a forum and started messaging the administrator rude stuff

at the time, I was a moderator on the site in question and we shared the same IP

talk about livid. not only losing my job as a moderator but losing a friend

and it wasn't even my fault

back when I was a kid, I was friends with a woman called jane

jane had 4 kids, and she braught her kids everything- if they wanted it in the house, jane would buy it for them

one day when I went to jane's house, I saw a big machine in the hallway with flashing lights

I'm like to her... what's that, jane?. it looks really good

she explained that it was a fruit machine and you put money in it to play a game (and try and win stuff back). her older kids kelly and emma wanted it for themselves (the boys were too young to play with it)

I played it every time I went round her house from that day on, I loved it (and even won money sometimes)

well one day when I went round her house she told me she'd got me a fruit machine of my own

I'm like wow, really?. a full sized fruit machine?. just like yours?

but it wasn't... what she'd got me was a tiny tiny version of it (you could actually hold it on your lap), and it didn't have the lights or the buttons

I remember going from like wow... I can't believe it, to.... I'm actually let down by this

and I felt so bad too, because she did make an effert- and I did keep it for a couple of months before getting rid of it

I trusted the wrong person and he ruined my entire life.

a few years ago I was really good friends with someone (or I thought I was)

one time the internet was down and I really needed to order my shopping- so my friend said to me, well, if you give me your amazon details I'll do it for you... no worries

so after a lot of hesitation, I gave her the information

next thing I know their's £300 watches coming to the door and football kits and all kinds of crap

oops

she did order what I wanted too, but still

When I was at one of these many courses the jobcentre sent me too, there was this guy who had my current obsession (a thing I was obsessed with at the time). I was so jealous that I hated him. When he sat beside me, I'd turn away or even move away if there was space somewhere else. If he tried to talk to me, I'd ignore him or give him a dirty look.

I was actually quite ill at the time, with so much intense jealousy bubbling inside me. I couldn't wait until the course was over so I never had to see him again. Obviously, I couldn't wait for it to end anyway because it was awful.

Then a few years later, I was sent on another course and he was there too. But by then, that obsession had ended and I had moved onto a new one. But it turned out he didn't have that thing anymore, so there was no reason to be jealous anymore.

I felt really bad for hating him, over something so stupid. I think he remembered because he avoided me, at least at first. After a 2 or 3 weeks he did talk to me and I talked back. But I always felt bad about it. These obsessions are unhealthy.