How do I stop seeking moms approval

I do this with my mom. I want to be more successful. However I don’t feel right doing something unless I get her approval. She doesn’t want me to get a better job. She wants me to stay where I’m at. She she’s getting a good paying job as unnecessary. She told me I go to college and get a degree then be a department manager at Walmart. I can be successful but not too successful. She comes from a collective/conservative society

What do you want to do exactly?

I'm curious -- how old are you? When we approach adulthood and become adults, we stop seeking approval from our parents and we start listening to ourselves instead of them. That is maturity. Mickey has a good question: What do YOU want? If you want to stop listening to your mother, you need to start figuring out what it is that you want first, then follow that. Your mom doesn't need to dictate the course of your life. It is YOUR life after all, not hers!
(((((Hugs)))))))

I’m 34, as far what do I want I don’t know. I have spend so much time dancing to my moms tune I don’t know what I want.

Here’s a link to a YouTube video this exactly what I’m dealing with. Just getting up leaving is easier said than done. At the end of her attacks she tells me she loves me. I think she gets high off her narcissistic rage.

You can stop seeking mom's approval by creating your own identity. So far, you have become a mini version of your mom. When I say mini, I mean she has molded you in her image.

This is going to take time, patience, and communication (with your mom) to change. You have to slowly build your own version of yourself, and slowly remove this image your mom had made of you.

The first step is deciding what you want to do. Decide the person you want to be. Decide a career you might be interested in. We can't tell you the person you should be because that is up to you.

Finding out the person you want to be can take years. So don't get discouraged. If you're having a hard time finding your true identity, this will take some work on your part. The best way to expose yourself to different hobbies and/or careers is to volunteer, take free courses, and spend time with other people so you have an idea what kind of person you want to be.

Why would she mold me into her image

Because she is HIGHLY INSECURE, which is why she likes to
CONTROL you. I'm afraid she will go on like this permanently,
narcissism is incurable (so far). Difficult or not,your only chance
of a life is AWAY from her narcissistic influence. Oh,by the way, did you know that other people are just "THINGS" to them?
Courage To You,
BLUEDOVE

I think you need to remove yourself to a situation where you are independent. From this point on you control the scope of the relationship you have with your mom. Namely, if she can't support you then you simply leave. Give yourself some freedom - you owe it to yourself to do so.

Thank you for all your support. I ask for prayers of strength as my mom is my biggest adversity that I will have overcome. She sees a college education as unnecessary. She values hard work. She is very conservative so I can be successful but not to successful.

I told her there is no such as being too successful and she responded with stories of how people have failed. I told if I was going to work at Walmart why not just a department manager how about an assistant management. Why not work my way up and become the first female CEO. I told her the possibilities are endless. She responds by saying I need skills and flew into a rage about how I would never succeed because I failed and have made mistakes

I know it has a lot more to do with her than me but it still hurts. She’s my success as a threat because I will become independent.

I moved away from home at 17 years. My mother passed in my 40th year. I am 51 (tomorrow). I still hear a constant running commentary in my mother's voice on everything I do from my appearance, to my choices, to my endeavours. I have been unable to escape the clutches of my mother's constant snide comments and putdowns. Still, that doesn't mean I have to listen and not try. In fact, I have found myself doing the opposite - taking the bull by the horns and doing what I want anyway. I still actually don't know what to do with my life but I have had plenty of awesome experiences to spite her.