[nogoodpoison]

Most of the time I feel like I am on an emotional roller coaster. I struggle to figure out what I should and should not be feeling.
In situations I know how I feel and I know what I want to feel but then I also tend to feel what others are feeling at that time too and I start to feel what they believe I should feel. This confusion just makes me want to shut down and so then I just go numb while trying to deal with things. Then later I have a breakdown because I held all those emotions inside of me and didn't know how to let them go.
Some point it out to me as bipolar, depressed, emotional abuse or just the struggle between trying to be what I want to be and what I think I am supposed to be. I don't know what any one thing it is, all I know is it is exhausting. I have no energy, I do not want to eat and I feel that there is a constant tug of war inside of me.

[VernonJenkins]

Originally Posted by nogoodpoison

Most of the time I feel like I am on an emotional roller coaster. I struggle to figure out what I should and should not be feeling.
In situations I know how I feel and I know what I want to feel but then I also tend to feel what others are feeling at that time too and I start to feel what they believe I should feel. This confusion just makes me want to shut down and so then I just go numb while trying to deal with things. Then later I have a breakdown because I held all those emotions inside of me and didn't know how to let them go.
Some point it out to me as bipolar, depressed, emotional abuse or just the struggle between trying to be what I want to be and what I think I am supposed to be. I don't know what any one thing it is, all I know is it is exhausting. I have no energy, I do not want to eat and I feel that there is a constant tug of war inside of me.

What's one example of something that you have conflicting feelings on?

[nogoodpoison]

Originally Posted by VernonJenkins

What's one example of something that you have conflicting feelings on?

My relationship with my husband brings up tons of emotions. Everybody says that the longer your married the harder you need to work at it. Somedays I feel that is true and I need to make changes and compromises to make it work. Maybe its just a misunderstanding that we need to work on? Maybe I'm not doing something the right way as I should? I get negative feedback or it seems what I do is not enough but yet I feel like I am working really hard at this. Then on the other hand people tell you to look out for yourself and your self worth and if he's not understanding then walk away. I don't know what to do anymore. I don't know if I have it in me to keep fighting.

[VernonJenkins]

Originally Posted by nogoodpoison

My relationship with my husband brings up tons of emotions. Everybody says that the longer your married the harder you need to work at it. Somedays I feel that is true and I need to make changes and compromises to make it work. Maybe its just a misunderstanding that we need to work on? Maybe I'm not doing something the right way as I should? I get negative feedback or it seems what I do is not enough but yet I feel like I am working really hard at this. Then on the other hand people tell you to look out for yourself and your self worth and if he's not understanding then walk away. I don't know what to do anymore. I don't know if I have it in me to keep fighting.

Have you expressed to him what you expressed here?

[nogoodpoison]

Originally Posted by VernonJenkins

Have you expressed to him what you expressed here?

Everything I tell him I am feeling he turns around and says he is feeling too. When I mention seeing a counselor, he says he should see one too. I can never seem to have anything that is just about me or get support from him. I have had a few breakdowns when we argue and I feel him care but then nothing changes.
I'm sure most of this is my fault. I am changing from becoming a full-time mom and wife to having to find who I am again because I left everything about myself to become those people and now those roles are disappearing. However, everything I do is also supposed to still involve him so I am still not quite finding myself. I feel like I have a tug of war going on inside of me between who I am and who I think I'm supposed to be.

[VernonJenkins]

Originally Posted by nogoodpoison

Everything I tell him I am feeling he turns around and says he is feeling too. When I mention seeing a counselor, he says he should see one too. I can never seem to have anything that is just about me or get support from him. I have had a few breakdowns when we argue and I feel him care but then nothing changes.
I'm sure most of this is my fault. I am changing from becoming a full-time mom and wife to having to find who I am again because I left everything about myself to become those people and now those roles are disappearing. However, everything I do is also supposed to still involve him so I am still not quite finding myself. I feel like I have a tug of war going on inside of me between who I am and who I think I'm supposed to be.

And have you told him that?

[MickeyCheeky]

I'm sorry. It must be very hard
Do you see a therapist? Have you been diagnosed with something?