Triggered

I wish I could talk about it here. I can't. It feels too...not anonymous. Because I post here a lot. And it just feels like...I'm not anonymous here anymore. It feels too much like a community. And I don't air my problems out in my community. Not the deep ones.

I wish I could talk to somebody about this though. I need a language for what happened to me last year, and why I felt / feel so badly about it. Sure, the pain has subsided. But it still bothers me sometimes when I am alone.

The thing is, I don't feel like a lot of people would understand. I don't know. My therapist doesn't. I mean, I don't feel safe talking about it with her. I don't feel held or safe (I'm looking for a new t). And the therapist I had before her, while, she DID get it, and was very concerned, but it also seemed like, she just wanted me to move on. So quickly. Believe me, I want to move on, too.

I'm sorry you feel you can't talk, here on PC, about whatever this is. But I understand. There is so much I would like to be able to talk about... here, there, or anywhere. But I just can't. I was brought up, oh so many years ago, to understand that one simply does not air one's dirty laundry in public, as they used to say. And even though I'm now pushing 70, I still can't do it. The few times I've tried, in real life, it just didn't turn out well. And the few times I've posted this sort of thing, here on PC, I became embarrassed & had to ask to have it taken down. I hope you find someone with whom you can share what happened. I know how this sort of thing can eat away at you.

I'm here if you want to talk via pm. No judgment. I've got loads of my own issues it feels like no one understands. Otherwise I offer you a big hug.

I am here if you want to talk. I promise not to pass any judgement because it is not my place. You are anonymous yet I know how you feel. Remember: no one but absolutely no one has the right to pass judgement on you. Everyone should only be concerned about themselves.

You are welcome to pm me.

You can PM me as well, if you want.

Oh my gosh...you guys are wonderful. I got through it...that evening. Putting it out there, even if I couldn't say what it was, was still addressing it, to me. It helped. Seeing your responses also made me feel better. It made me feel less alone. I really appreciate your invitations to pm, too. Thank you.

Hi Starry,
Aren't you a really nice person. Listen do try and get
hold of this book: "Self-Compassion" by Kristen Neff--she has
web site too.
Courage+Compassion,
BLUEDOVE

starrysky

I am in so much pain...so hurt..yes triggered. Foolish hurtful things beyond my natural reason . So hard!