Because I showed weakness and was (rightly) punished for it.

The fact is that I am very competent. However, my older method of communication relied on being self deprecating and pretending to be dumb to get people to like me.

I am angry because now people think I'm dumber than I actually am.

I am feeling the same humiliation I felt as a child. I was pathetic. In that moment of self deprecation, I reeked of my childhood humiliation.

I am giving myself a manicure and planning a sleek outfit for Monday. I am incredibly angry. When people look at me and interact with me they should only see someone in command.

Other than that I am doing everything right. I feel that I have encouraged myself and will continue to make progress.

Originally Posted by emptynightmare

I am angry because now people think I'm dumber than I actually am.

We all think that. Everyone thinks about it to a degree, but not everyone experiences feelings of anger, over what other people think of us.

But I can relate. I think identifying the root cause of the feelings of anger can help us better equipped ourselves with coping strategies to self treat.

From one dumb dumb to another dumb dumb. I don't think you're dumb.

I think you're brilliant.

[BLUEDOVE]

I can empathise,fact is,we live in dog eat dog world,and I was trying too,to be whom I am not (accepting forgiver who won't fight back).
Well,my BUTT I won't fight back,your damn right I will! I put up
with abuse all my life,because as a child,I 'learned how to be abused', Well,now I've UNLEARNED IT,and I'm sure you have unlearned it too--go on,do your thing with your head held high,
we shall overcome!
Respectfully,
BLUEDOVE

I feel ugly. I don't deserve nice things. I feel really heavy.