[_Noir_]

Lately I've noticed that even in the smallest of shortcomings i'm prone to get extremely agitated and from that agitation i'm likely to burst into tears. When i say smallest of shortcomings i literally mean SMALL. It could be something like I can't find my glasses or I dropped an apple I was eating and i become a crying, angry BOMB. I've dealt with Bipolar Depression all of my life but I don't really feel like this fits into that category. This hasn't been happening until this year after my mom passed away around ten months ago. I was wondering if maybe that has something to do with it? In all actuality i'm honestly confused and I don't know what to do to help control it or fix it, or even if I can. Most of the people around me that don't understand see me as a monster. Like my younger cousins barely like to talk to me because they're afraid of me and people at my high school (with the exception of my closer friends and my boyfriend) see me as a monster, and my grandma, who i am living with, see's me as an unstable brat. I'm wondering if someone else deals with this too, or maybe if I am just mentally unstable.

[My Paper Heart]

I hope I just finished going through something similar....

I was dealing with serious harassment from my boss -- he lied to people to get them to see things his way, he didn't care that he made me (and anyone in the room with the two of us) uncomfortable, and he did his best to isolate me by lying and saying people were afraid of me. (Just to note: I kindly checked in with the one person I figured out he was talking about and asked if they were scared of me because I didn't want that to be the case. No surprise, my boss lied.)

ANYWAY, I was super crazy immensely stressed out for months, even to the point of needing 1 FMLA leave and contemplating a 2nd. I went from never crying to crying over the slightest thing. I begged my psychologist to help make it all stop but she suggested it was a good thing, even as I sat there crying and with indignation argued/logic-ed with her that crying served no purpose.

End of the story: As I was driving away from work for the very last time, I cried my eyes out for the entire 45 minute drive home. I hated each and every second of it. That being said, it's been 4.5 days and I haven't cried since. Either that's a new record -- and I didn't cry over things that would have made me cry about a week ago -- or maybe it's over? I still don't understand the connection of stress/emotion release via crying but it does seem to be connected.

[MickeyCheeky]

I'm sorry you have to deal with this. Do you take some meds?

[_Noir_]

Originally Posted by MickeyCheeky

I'm sorry you have to deal with this. Do you take some meds?

Yes, i do take meds on the account of my Bipolar Depression, but it doesn't seem to be helping much at all. Although i have brought it up with my psychiatrist, most of the time all he has to say is that I should just give it some time and i will see a difference. But i'm afraid that they aren't making much of a difference, seems to me that they are making matters worse...

[tevelygo]

Originally Posted by _Noir_

Lately I've noticed that even in the smallest of shortcomings i'm prone to get extremely agitated and from that agitation i'm likely to burst into tears. When i say smallest of shortcomings i literally mean SMALL. It could be something like I can't find my glasses or I dropped an apple I was eating and i become a crying, angry BOMB. I've dealt with Bipolar Depression all of my life but I don't really feel like this fits into that category. This hasn't been happening until this year after my mom passed away around ten months ago. I was wondering if maybe that has something to do with it? In all actuality i'm honestly confused and I don't know what to do to help control it or fix it, or even if I can. Most of the people around me that don't understand see me as a monster. Like my younger cousins barely like to talk to me because they're afraid of me and people at my high school (with the exception of my closer friends and my boyfriend) see me as a monster, and my grandma, who i am living with, see's me as an unstable brat. I'm wondering if someone else deals with this too, or maybe if I am just mentally unstable.

You should investigate the bolded as a likely cause yes. I uh, had this after something really emotionally stressful/bad happening to me. It's like an overexcitable limbic system in your brain due to feeling kind of traumatized (sorry if this is not the best conceptualization, but I didn't find a better one). I found for me what worked was trying to work through the original emotionally bad thing. It may be painful etc but it will help reduce the reactivity over time. I found it to be a slow process processing all that... Especially as I have alexithymia making the emotional processing just that much harder and complicated. I still have issues, it can still be bad, but it's no longer as violent reactions now.

I do think it would be best for now if you left to be alone as soon as you notice you are going to be like this, it's not good to burden other people with it. And it adds to your own issues if you have extra conflicts with people due to all this. Try and be alone when you release these emotions, as often as possible.

Don't just categorize yourself as "mentally unstable" please tho'. Even if someone tries to tell you that.

Also, maybe you could also check out alexithymia, see if it fits you too.

Originally Posted by _Noir_

Yes, i do take meds on the account of my Bipolar Depression, but it doesn't seem to be helping much at all. Although i have brought it up with my psychiatrist, most of the time all he has to say is that I should just give it some time and i will see a difference. But i'm afraid that they aren't making much of a difference, seems to me that they are making matters worse...

Giving it time didn't seem enough to me without directly attempting to process the original issues.

EDIT: Oh if you just mean the medication... Ask him how long you have to wait before he is willing to try a new medication?