Why do I look at the things other people have and do and find my own life lacking? I get in the way of my own happiness when I do this. My life is good... There have been and still are plenty of challenges but I am able to work on overcoming them and that in itself is a blessing.

If I am honest with myself... I don’t really even want to have or do most of the things other people have and do and yet I keep making the comparisons. Surely I would make changes in myself or in my lifestyle if I really wanted different things or experiences. This is not healthy and I don’t want to do it. It’s got to be a self esteem issue because I never feel I measure up... yet cognitively I know this is all just silly of me. 😞

[happysobercrafter]

I agree I think it is a self-esteem issue. Making comparisons is a habit. I used to do that too. Do you think you could change that into only comparing you to you? For example, if you are doing something better now, compare it to how you used to. Am I making sense? You can see improvements in your own life that way.

Originally Posted by HappyCrafter

I agree I think it is a self-esteem issue. Making comparisons is a habit. I used to do that too. Do you think you could change that into only comparing you to you? For example, if you are doing something better now, compare it to how you used to. Am I making sense? You can see improvements in your own life that way.

That’s a great idea HappyCrafter. It would just be a matter of changing my habit slightly right? I will work on this. Life is too short to be getting in the way of my own happiness.

[happysobercrafter]

Originally Posted by Sisabel

That’s a great idea HappyCrafter. It would just be a matter of changing my habit slightly right? I will work on this. Life is too short to be getting in the way of my own happiness.

I am not sure about that. It is doable, just might require some more work. Do you get negative chatter in your head? I do from my background. When that comes up, I validate it, accept it and it stops being so obnoxious.

Does that happen to you?

[downandlonely]

I sometimes compare myself to women who manage to juggle careers and families. But I try to remind myself that I don't really want to have to deal with a family. I like my independence.

Originally Posted by HappyCrafter

I am not sure about that. It is doable, just might require some more work. Do you get negative chatter in your head? I do from my background. When that comes up, I validate it, accept it and it stops being so obnoxious.


Does that happen to you?

Yes I do think there’s negative chatter. I worked on it years ago and I don’t know why I stopped. I guess I got busy and thought I was fine.

Originally Posted by downandlonely

I sometimes compare myself to women who manage to juggle careers and families. But I try to remind myself that I don't really want to have to deal with a family. I like my independence.

Exactly. I compare myself to people living lives I haven’t even planned for myself. Family is a big trigger for me. I don’t have a big, happy family. I have a wonderful hubby. I have to remind myself if I wanted the big family I would have to put up with toxic people and I chose not to do that. The choices to a large extent have been my own.

[happysobercrafter]

Sisabel, it sounds to me that you are on the right track!!