I’ve been dealing with a couple of difficult situations for a few years now... one at my work and one in my personal life. Some days it feels a bit hopeless and other days I have hope...

Tell me about some tough times you went through that turned out better than you ever expected... through perseverance, patience, love, faith...

When you said perseverance, I thought of one. My church. For the longest time, I didn't feel...connected there. I didn't feel like I fit in, I beat myself up over things that were really no big deal in the end. I kept going very sporadically though, because I go to their meditation group before church starts, which I love. In early summer, I decided to talk to the reverend about my feelings that were keeping me away from going. It was tremendously helpful, and she is the best. She is so kind and all I did was be proactive. For me, the key was finding a way to take away my insecurity and negative untrue thoughts. Familiarity helps too. I'm honestly still not 100% sure it's the most perfect fit for me belief-wise, I will have to find out more, but it's pretty good for now and I like it.

((((((Sisabel))))))

back in 2005, I had a really bad time of it- I was going through a really bad mental health episode and I

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tried to take my life.

well, I was admitted to hospital at the start of December (or was it on the end of November?)

I was really ill, and I was showing no signs of getting better- really shutting down. my body wasn't responding (I hate using that word, but their it is)

anyway the nurse in charge of me angela rang my parents to ask them to be in the hospital with me, but they told angela they wanted me to die on the ward because it would be easier for them to cope without me

angela told this to me (I felt so sorry for her having to tell me that)

well on Christmas eve, I took a turn for the worst and I was blessed by a priest- he came in to the hospital and sat by my bedside for a long time, I thought that was lovely of him.

all I remember about Christmas eve is the nurse constantly calling my name and telling me to breav, and to focus on her and to keep calm

it reminded me of a crash sceen where the paramedics kept telling the people at the sceen to hold on, or don't move, or something along those lines

the next few weeks/ months are very hazy. I pulled through Christmas eve, and on Christmas day the hospital staff tried to make me a Christmas (obviously I didn't have family or friends, so it was just the nurses)

in march of 2006, I was still struggling. I was out of the hospital, but my eating issues were really playing up

all I can remember were mental health nurses keeping a close eye on me until I got better

I did come out of it, and survived

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though every inch of me wishes I didn't. I came really close to what I wanted

what was sad too, is that the lady in the next bed took her own life and I had to witness her dying

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I tried again in 2016 (overdose)

the 2 things that came out of that that were really scary were

-waking up in a ward and not knowing why I'd got their

- and attacking the nurse to the point that she collapsed

not good for me, I had to stay in longer

being involved in a car accident when I was really young

I remember it so vividly

once when I was at school and having a lesson, with one of my teachers nicky, and I collapsed in the road- no reason, I just randomly collapsed

apparently getting me to breav at the sceen just wasn't happening

I remember when I did wake up, I was covered in blood, and it was litirally pouring from me

one of the people said (word for word), " if she doesn't stop bleeding, I don't know. I'm not qualified)

well, I apparently came out of it surrounded by all those people

I went to the hospital so they could do checks, but I was find

when I was 4 years old, my mother abandoned me at a railway station.

I was taken by another passenger to her house- and it was really scary.. not knowing her, or not knowing when mummy would come back, etc etc

mummy eventually showed up drunk, knocked the passenger to the floor and took me home

one more for now (maybe more later)

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but my mother tried to burn the house down while I was in my bedroom playing

I was taken in to a police car, and to another house of a foster family (which was scary as I didn't know them)

while their I collapsed on the stairs and ended up in an ambulance

the sad truth is my parents didn't care, and I ended up back in her care

Originally Posted by raging vortex

one more for now (maybe more later)

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but my mother tried to burn the house down while I was in my bedroom playing

I was taken in to a police car, and to another house of a foster family (which was scary as I didn't know them)


while their I collapsed on the stairs and ended up in an ambulance


the sad truth is my parents didn't care, and I ended up back in her care

Oh my. You’ve been through hell and back and lived to tell about it. I’m so sorry your wretched parents didn’t care. You’ve persevered through the love and kindness of others... those nurses. ❤️

Originally Posted by KnitChick

When you said perseverance, I thought of one. My church. For the longest time, I didn't feel...connected there. I didn't feel like I fit in, I beat myself up over things that were really no big deal in the end. I kept going very sporadically though, because I go to their meditation group before church starts, which I love. In early summer, I decided to talk to the reverend about my feelings that were keeping me away from going. It was tremendously helpful, and she is the best. She is so kind and all I did was be proactive. For me, the key was finding a way to take away my insecurity and negative untrue thoughts. Familiarity helps too. I'm honestly still not 100% sure it's the most perfect fit for me belief-wise, I will have to find out more, but it's pretty good for now and I like it.


((((((Sisabel))))))

I definitely agree that our thoughts and beliefs about a situation will largely dictate the outcome. I am so glad the church has worked out for you, for the most part. ❤️

Originally Posted by Sisabel

Oh my. You’ve been through hell and back and lived to tell about it. I’m so sorry your wretched parents didn’t care. You’ve persevered through the love and kindness of others... those nurses. ❤️

it's good to know that their are nice people (like nurses) left in the world

Dear Sisabel,

I went through more rough times than I care to recount or remember. Countless abusive relationships, many abusive bosses, several failures and many set backs. I've gained jobs and I've lost jobs. I've been single, happily and unhappily, and engaged twice now.

The worst was when I lost my greatest dream to move across country and live in CA and ended up hospitalized with a mental breakdown after a severely abusive relationship. I had to return home to live with my parents and lost my independence at the age of 43. It was absolutely horrible for me. I was suicidal for eight months straight and had only very part time work with minimal income. But, I picked myself up eventually, I pursued my career aspirations, I got a full time job again and I pulled my life slowly back together again. I still ended up in bad relationships at that point, but eventually, after a few more years of experience, I found true love with someone who doesn't abuse me and we are now engaged. I also eventually moved out of my parents' home after four years and am now living independently again with a great full time job and income.

So, YES. To partially answer your question, or to answer another question related to that, our lives can certainly fall completely apart and then be rebuilt again. We can experience extreme lows, yet rise back up again.

Have faith in yourself, foremost, and in what you want out of life. Go after the things you want, and go after the things that make you happiest and thrive the most, is the best advice I can give. Life is far too short to be miserable and in the wrong circumstances or situation, and sometimes, we have to fight for it, for all we're worth and with all the strength we can muster. It's WELL worth the fight, so NEVER EVER EVER GIVE UP HOPE, and most especially, don't ever give up on yourself!!!

Originally Posted by golden_eve

Dear Sisabel,

I went through more rough times than I care to recount or remember. Countless abusive relationships, many abusive bosses, several failures and many set backs. I've gained jobs and I've lost jobs. I've been single, happily and unhappily, and engaged twice now.

The worst was when I lost my greatest dream to move across country and live in CA and ended up hospitalized with a mental breakdown after a severely abusive relationship. I had to return home to live with my parents and lost my independence at the age of 43. It was absolutely horrible for me. I was suicidal for eight months straight and had only very part time work with minimal income. But, I picked myself up eventually, I pursued my career aspirations, I got a full time job again and I pulled my life slowly back together again. I still ended up in bad relationships at that point, but eventually, after a few more years of experience, I found true love with someone who doesn't abuse me and we are now engaged. I also eventually moved out of my parents' home after four years and am now living independently again with a great full time job and income.

So, YES. To partially answer your question, or to answer another question related to that, our lives can certainly fall completely apart and then be rebuilt again. We can experience extreme lows, yet rise back up again.

Have faith in yourself, foremost, and in what you want out of life. Go after the things you want, and go after the things that make you happiest and thrive the most, is the best advice I can give. Life is far too short to be miserable and in the wrong circumstances or situation, and sometimes, we have to fight for it, for all we're worth and with all the strength we can muster. It's WELL worth the fight, so NEVER EVER EVER GIVE UP HOPE, and most especially, don't ever give up on yourself!!!

good post

I am also glad you found someone who loves you. that's great

Originally Posted by raging vortex

good post

I am also glad you found someone who loves you. that's great

TY very much!

Originally Posted by golden_eve

Dear Sisabel,

I went through more rough times than I care to recount or remember. Countless abusive relationships, many abusive bosses, several failures and many set backs. I've gained jobs and I've lost jobs. I've been single, happily and unhappily, and engaged twice now.

The worst was when I lost my greatest dream to move across country and live in CA and ended up hospitalized with a mental breakdown after a severely abusive relationship. I had to return home to live with my parents and lost my independence at the age of 43. It was absolutely horrible for me. I was suicidal for eight months straight and had only very part time work with minimal income. But, I picked myself up eventually, I pursued my career aspirations, I got a full time job again and I pulled my life slowly back together again. I still ended up in bad relationships at that point, but eventually, after a few more years of experience, I found true love with someone who doesn't abuse me and we are now engaged. I also eventually moved out of my parents' home after four years and am now living independently again with a great full time job and income.

So, YES. To partially answer your question, or to answer another question related to that, our lives can certainly fall completely apart and then be rebuilt again. We can experience extreme lows, yet rise back up again.

Have faith in yourself, foremost, and in what you want out of life. Go after the things you want, and go after the things that make you happiest and thrive the most, is the best advice I can give. Life is far too short to be miserable and in the wrong circumstances or situation, and sometimes, we have to fight for it, for all we're worth and with all the strength we can muster. It's WELL worth the fight, so NEVER EVER EVER GIVE UP HOPE, and most especially, don't ever give up on yourself!!!

You are living proof that a person can be knocked down time and again and keep getting back up and moving forward.

[zapatoes]

No you don’t want to know, it’s better that way.

[BlossomingLen]

Hello! I've been reading through this discussion and honestly, everyone here is so unbelievably strong. It's really inspiring!

As for me, I struggled with family issues for a long time. As far back as I can remember, my parents were never really that nice of people to me. I get why. They were stressed, going through their own problems, and had nowhere to really express their frustration. There's still some things they did that I'll never forgive them for, though.

We managed to patch things up around a year ago. Talking to them is still a bit shaky, but we're actually on speaking terms and can joke around every now and then. I'm able to understand them a bit and we connect more. I've started getting closer to my sister, as well, who I had probably the worst relationship with out of all my family members.

I had many, many abusive romantic partners. I haven't been in a single good relationship, except for the one I'm in now. My boyfriend makes me so happy. Even though I struggle getting close to people and communicating because of all the bad experiences I had with others, he's able to help me. He makes me feel safe. One of the best people I've met!

My mental state took a sharp dive recently. I was so apathetic, unmotivated, and uncaring. But for the last couple of days, I've started really working on building positivity and confidence! It's worked fairly well and I'm starting to act like my old self again!

All of the friends I had, except for my boyfriend, has left me. Not a single one stayed. Sometimes I'm extremely alone. It's almost suffocating how alone I am at points. Yet my partner is there for me. My sister is there for me. I'm gathering enough courage to try and talk to others and form new friendships. It's a new beginning for me!

Sometimes things can be really bleak. You can't see where the gloom may end. You might be convinced it'll never end. Yet, through every hardship I've faced, including several ones I didn't mention; they've always ended positively. I've always found some type of resolve.

I hope everyone here is doing well and feels better soon!

[MickeyCheeky]

I wish I had half of your strength

[nicoleflynn]

I grew up in extreme poverty, with an abusive mother....no phone, car, refrigerator, tub/shower...molested....in a tenement house where snow came in thru a crack in the shed....did not know my father (divorce situation), joined the army, married an abuser, got a divorce after 31 years of abuse, then my church voted me out of membership, with my name up on a big screen, stating: "Conduct Unbecoming a child of God."

I used my life story of overcoming (and thriving) and won a scholarship at age 60 and am a Sophomore at 71! I wrote my memoir and a poetry book.....I believe we are here for a reason and I speak to groups about verbal abuse, which is rampant on our planet; my goal is to speak on national television.

[MickeyCheeky]

(((nicole)))

Originally Posted by Sisabel

You are living proof that a person can be knocked down time and again and keep getting back up and moving forward.

Yes, I am living proof for sure. I hope it helps you.

Originally Posted by golden_eve

Yes, I am living proof for sure. I hope it helps you.

Yes it does. Thank you. Sometimes I lose sight of the big picture. ❤️

Originally Posted by Sisabel

Yes it does. Thank you. Sometimes I lose sight of the big picture. ❤️

I'm glad it helps.

We all can easily lose sight of the big picture. Do know that hard times come and go. Sometimes, like what you're experiencing, hard times can go on for several years, but they do end eventually, and you can see the sun and rise again. Know that you can overcome whatever challenges you are currently facing, personally and professionally.

We may have to problem solve to get out of bad situations, or we may need to just ride them through, especially on a professional front. But if a situation does not make you happy, then you find a way to get out of it and make yourself and your life happy again.

I wish you all the best!!!

Originally Posted by nicoleflynn

I grew up in extreme poverty, with an abusive mother....no phone, car, refrigerator, tub/shower...molested....in a tenement house where snow came in thru a crack in the shed....did not know my father (divorce situation), joined the army, married an abuser, got a divorce after 31 years of abuse, then my church voted me out of membership, with my name up on a big screen, stating: "Conduct Unbecoming a child of God."

I used my life story of overcoming (and thriving) and won a scholarship at age 60 and am a Sophomore at 71! I wrote my memoir and a poetry book.....I believe we are here for a reason and I speak to groups about verbal abuse, which is rampant on our planet; my goal is to speak on national television.

((((((((((NicoleFlynn))))))))))

This. What an awesome story Nicole, I feel privileged to hear it! If that's not a story of triumph I don't know what is.

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being involved in a suicide pact.

it was tough for both of us who were involved, and it took 6 months or so to plan fully. what made this situation worse is that my mother provided the means to actually take our lives, and booked the hotel where we would be going to do it (she's that kind of woman, just wanted me out of her life)

about a week before it was due to happen, the other person involved had a family chrisis

it was a bit of a bitter sweet moment.

I mean on 1 hand we planned it for so long and I was all set to do it (we both were), and then the other... I was sort of scared that it would be forever and not an attempt.

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the other person ended up taking her life (and I miss her deeply)

and I still think about it to this day... if I had done itt and everything had worked out, I wouldn't be going through all this agrovation they call life