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#1
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It makes me really mad when someone says my feelings are dumb. You don't tell someone their feelings are dumb. I don't care what their feelings are about. What's wrong with people? It pisses me off that someone told me that. I'm just not gonna talk about my problems anymore. I'll just deal with everything myself if that's how people are going to be. Just when I thought I was starting to have some peace someone else has to go and ruin it and now I'll probably be thinking about it for a while because I can't stop thinking about what people do that makes me angry.
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![]() 12AM, avlady, Fuzzybear, KD1980, MickeyCheeky, orangyred
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![]() Medusax
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#2
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![]() avlady
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#3
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My parents were both that way. Any problems I had were "silly". Yes, "silly".
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I go about my own business, and keep my mind on myself and my life. I expect the same courtesy from the rest of the world. ![]() |
![]() Anonymous48917, avlady, MickeyCheeky
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#4
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ALL of our feelings are valid. People can be ignorant.
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![]() avlady
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![]() MickeyCheeky
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#5
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Yes, there are people who try to invalidate your feelings. They are being abusive. It’s not you, it’s them. Your feelings are your feelings and you have every right to feel them.
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"And don't say it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, 'cause it hasn't!" . About Me--T |
![]() 12AM
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#6
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Our feelings are valid.....sometimes our thinking that creates those feelings is what is flawed....sometimes it is the oeople around us creating an environment that causes us to feel that way.
That is why it is good to go over the causes of our feelings in therapy & analyze our thinking that is bringing us to feel the things we feel. At first in therapy I had no idea of any feeling other than the anger that had built up in my 33 years of marriage. My T gave me a list of feeling words. I made a 2 page list whrn went back & defined what was causing those feelings. Most if my thinking was valid but there were some things where my thinking about the situation incorrevtly caused me to have feelings I would not have had if I had thought through the situation accurately. Sometimes when someone tells us our feelings are "dumb" what they are really trying to say is that maybe our thoughts about what is causing our feelings may not be accurate (assuming that person isn't just a judgmental jerk)
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![]() Leo's favorite place was in the passenger seat of my truck. We went everywhere together like this. Leo my soulmate will live in my heart FOREVER Nov 1, 2002 - Dec 16, 2018 |
#7
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When I know it is routine I just prep a side of me to take what they say with some form of protectiveness built in. If it becomes more routine I use some form of identification of denial sometimes directly to with a counter share. If it built with experience that I cant risk sharing that is easier I just I have my go to for that. When it is just to whine that validation isn't the most important thing all the time so as long I got my thing together and know what I dealing with then I put it all into perspective....When I can't I'm in pure hell time to so go to my cave and be in hell.
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#8
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They are trying to invalidate your feelings.. an abusive trick
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#9
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It sounds like they are immature and insensitive. Try to set a boundary and keep away from people who say that.
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