[-jimi-]

It's beyond me how they think it is OK, they are like "I don't like but if others do, fine, doesn't bother me". It bothers ME.

Also some people can't even spot a lie.

Even when a person (made up exampe) has 3 kids, then 1, then 2, then is a police officer, then is a doctor etc. When it is so obvious.

It really frustrates me. What do they even gain from making up stories? Sometimes they are not even about getting pity about, just some weird type of admiration or something. Like they are special.

How dare people do this? Why do they feel they need to be better than others? Or more in pain or whatnot?

And people thinking lying is just fine.

I came across a bunch lately in different areas of the web and it just ticks me off.

[*Laurie*]

I'm not exactly sure what you mean, so I'll ask. Do you mean trolls...or false identities? On, say, social media?


If you do mean assuming a false identity, sometimes people do that so they can remain part of a group from which they've been blocked. I have a friend who has made up a false identity on Facebook. She is friends with several of us in a group. The admin of the group is really...weird. Rigid. Very rigid and unstable, and she just blocks people suddenly for no clear reason.

So even though I know that my friend is in the group using a false identity I don't blame her, given the circumstances.

If, however, someone creates a false identity in order to garner sympathy with the hope of scamming people for money, whoa...that's a different story. In my 20 years online I've encountered 3 forum members and 2 forum admins who were assuming a false id and scamming people. That, to me, is a really low thing to do.

[Nammu]

I have low tolerance for people who lie too

Jimi, I feel the same as you about people who lie. It's very frustrating and honestly, stressful to be around them! Someone who was helping me out (a mental health worker, of all people) did this all the time and I had her removed from my case.

[-jimi-]

Originally Posted by *Laurie*

If, however, someone creates a false identity in order to garner sympathy with the hope of scamming people for money, whoa...that's a different story. In my 20 years online I've encountered 3 forum members and 2 forum admins who were assuming a false id and scamming people. That, to me, is a really low thing to do.

More like false identities. Ive seen it several times. Sometimes ppl make up their whole life. One pretended to be a famous therapist and had online therapy. She almost drove someone to suicide.

One pretended to be a hired killer from the cia. And yes ppl believed him!!! Ppl sent him money and defended him when others said he was fake.

One pretended to be victim of childhood very severe abuse. 15 years later she actually owned up to her lies. She was mentally ill with depression but nl abuse. Brave in a way. But all that time we supported her.

One pretended to be a doctor and started give advice. She had every illness and was so brave. Still successful.

One faked cancer and her own death.

Sigh.

Originally Posted by -jimi-

More like false identities. Ive seen it several times. Sometimes ppl make up their whole life. One pretended to be a famous therapist and had online therapy. She almost drove someone to suicide.

One pretended to be a hired killer from the cia. And yes ppl believed him!!! Ppl sent him money and defended him when others said he was fake.

One pretended to be victim of childhood very severe abuse. 15 years later she actually owned up to her lies. She was mentally ill with depression but nl abuse. Brave in a way. But all that time we supported her.

One pretended to be a doctor and started give advice. She had every illness and was so brave. Still successful.

One faked cancer and her own death.

Sigh.

I've known people to fake cancer, and their own death as well (the latter actually being in a depression support group, so she was kind of sick)

she came back online after a few weeks and is like.. haha, fooled you. you're a bad group of supporters arn't you?

I think a lot of people do it because creating a false identity online is so obvious, and I'm pretty sure those people don't even care- because in their minds, no one will ever find out anyway

especially in chatrooms, where the probability of talking to the same person more than once is very slim.

what gets me most I think is dating profiles, when you say you're a 23 year old man from america for an example, then you go and meet them and she's some 60 year old woman.

I just don't get how they don't feel any guilt or shame

some people are crap at it.

I know someone who faked being an elder woman who had retired from work and was just looking on the website for friends and good conversation

but she didn't do a very good job of it- at every oppotunity, she said something that indicated she was young, free and single

I like to quiz potential friends online

like if they say to me.. I'm from such and such, I'll ask what do you do their? (and for them to give the name of the company or what ever)

if they take time replying, I asume they are looking something up on google to go along with it

[*Laurie*]

Originally Posted by -jimi-

More like false identities. Ive seen it several times. Sometimes ppl make up their whole life. One pretended to be a famous therapist and had online therapy. She almost drove someone to suicide.

One pretended to be a hired killer from the cia. And yes ppl believed him!!! Ppl sent him money and defended him when others said he was fake.

One pretended to be victim of childhood very severe abuse. 15 years later she actually owned up to her lies. She was mentally ill with depression but nl abuse. Brave in a way. But all that time we supported her.

One pretended to be a doctor and started give advice. She had every illness and was so brave. Still successful.

One faked cancer and her own death.

Sigh.

Ah...yes...I had a Facebook friend, he was so bright and creative - then he faked his own suicide. Had another friend announced on Fb that the guy had died by suicide. I grieved for 3 days...until the "friend" popped up and said Hahaha, fooled you all!

What a cruel, vile thing to do. Needless to say, I dropped the jerk off my friends list.

What you've described is called
"catfishing".

[MickeyCheeky]

It's easy to lie online so many people do it. Yeah, it's pretty common

i suppose when it comes down to it, unless you know the person, unless you've been around them, you need to take everything said online with caution

I mean if it's an outragious statement that just couldn't be true, then fair enough

but the reality is you just don't know who you are talking to

ever

[-jimi-]

Most people have been who they said. I met plenty.

But if someone has to lie, why are they so bad at lying? Why lie when you can't keep your story together?

Or maybe there are better liars out there. Harder to spot I assume so I'd never know...

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by KnitChick

Jimi, I feel the same as you about people who lie. It's very frustrating and honestly, stressful to be around them! Someone who was helping me out (a mental health worker, of all people) did this all the time and I had her removed from my case.

I don’t know why people accept online liars either .. I also am infuriated when mental “health” workers lie or are otherwise less than .. helpful . (It’s happened to me several times irl

[Open Eyes]

Usually these individuals have no real lives and so they try to create an identity online where they can live through that identity vicariously. They are trying to fill a void in themselves, could not cut it IRL so are trying to create their own make believe life online.

[xiximmxi]

Originally Posted by -jimi-

More like false identities. Ive seen it several times. Sometimes ppl make up their whole life. One pretended to be a famous therapist and had online therapy. She almost drove someone to suicide.

One pretended to be a hired killer from the cia. And yes ppl believed him!!! Ppl sent him money and defended him when others said he was fake.

One pretended to be victim of childhood very severe abuse. 15 years later she actually owned up to her lies. She was mentally ill with depression but nl abuse. Brave in a way. But all that time we supported her.

One pretended to be a doctor and started give advice. She had every illness and was so brave. Still successful.

One faked cancer and her own death.

Sigh.

First of all - what a terrible CIA agent! Surely he wasn't supposed to tell people that.


I know some pretend they're different people online; I understand that they might suffer from whatever that makes them want to escape their own reality and form virtual lives that they think they should have online. Which could be a defense mechanism. Which is depressing but fine, they can do whatever that floats their boat. Go be a purple fairy, I don't care. As long as it doesn't infringe the rights of others.

When people "catfish" and literally break someone's heart or bank, or both, I have a problem with that

[Blue_Bird]

Originally Posted by -jimi-

More like false identities. Ive seen it several times. Sometimes ppl make up their whole life. One pretended to be a famous therapist and had online therapy. She almost drove someone to suicide.

One pretended to be a hired killer from the cia. And yes ppl believed him!!! Ppl sent him money and defended him when others said he was fake.

One pretended to be victim of childhood very severe abuse. 15 years later she actually owned up to her lies. She was mentally ill with depression but nl abuse. Brave in a way. But all that time we supported her.

One pretended to be a doctor and started give advice. She had every illness and was so brave. Still successful.

One faked cancer and her own death.

Sigh.

Some are scammers, some are just trolls, some are delusional and may actually believe they're famous or "special", have delusions of grandeur, psychosis etc, some may have some kind of attention seeking problems, it really could be a lot of things.

[katydid777]

Originally Posted by -jimi-

It's beyond me how they think it is OK, they are like "I don't like but if others do, fine, doesn't bother me". It bothers ME.

Also some people can't even spot a lie.

Even when a person (made up exampe) has 3 kids, then 1, then 2, then is a police officer, then is a doctor etc. When it is so obvious.

It really frustrates me. What do they even gain from making up stories? Sometimes they are not even about getting pity about, just some weird type of admiration or something. Like they are special.

How dare people do this? Why do they feel they need to be better than others? Or more in pain or whatnot?

And people thinking lying is just fine.

I came across a bunch lately in different areas of the web and it just ticks me off.

I am niave as far as online liars. I tend to believe most. But in person is a very diffrent story. My MIL lies all the time. I don't think she can say anything without there being a lie in it.

Originally Posted by -jimi-

It's beyond me how they think it is OK, they are like "I don't like but if others do, fine, doesn't bother me". It bothers ME.
Also some people can't even spot a lie.
Even when a person (made up exampe) has 3 kids, then 1, then 2, then is a police officer, then is a doctor etc. When it is so obvious.

I don't know... I guess I would have to see the context. I mean I had bad experiences on the internet telling the truth. I mean you might think it would be crazy that someone would try to gather information about you as a real person and then hurt you, but it happened to me. I started a web page and something I said deeply offended an... unbalanced person who then set about with her minions trying to find everything on the internet about me and hurting me with it. She didn't get too far but I remember feeling naked and exposed as I had never really cared until that happened. None of it was bad but when someone is out to get you they can make it look bad.

So now everything on the internet that I do is not *strictly* the truth. I mean I might tell a story that is true but instead of my saying it is my MIL that is bothering me it might be my sister's MIL. Or one day I might say do x for work the next I might say Y, to tell the story but I don't want to give real specifics. I change every story I have so that some part of the story doesn't fit with real facts. Though the story might be true.

Not trying to be deceptive. Just trying to keep anonymous in an uncertain world.

But really I am Queen Elizabeth -- really!

[TishaBuv]

If I thought some anonymous person online was lying I wouldn’t really mind. I might play along. Or I’d call them out on it. But it wouldn’t bother me. Jeez, if you can’t make up a fantasy anonymously online then where can you? Just take everything someone says online with a grain of salt.

[-jimi-]

Originally Posted by Emily Fox Seaton

So now everything on the internet that I do is not *strictly* the truth. I mean I might tell a story that is true but instead of my saying it is my MIL that is bothering me it might be my sister's MIL. Or one day I might say do x for work the next I might say Y, to tell the story but I don't want to give real specifics.

That is just to protect yourself and it doesn't change the story itself. I wouldn't call it lying.

[Caracalxaos]

It’s upsetting to see that people actually try to gain something from lying to others. I’m not saying that I haven’t lied to my friends and family (everyone does) but I have never lied on the web. And it upsets me that those people would actually do that just to gain sympathy.

[WinterWolf]

There's liars, then there's habitual liars - both do it for attention, because they believe their true selves don't have anything worthwhile to offer to the world. Usually starts in early childhood and progresses significantly as they get older. Frustrating to say the least, but these are definitely the kinds of cases where the onus is on the offender to get treatment.

[Medusax]

I know someone like this. We are not friends, but he is all over FB with stories of heart surgeries, broken knees, mother/father/pregnant wife/grandmother dying. Cancer treatments, etc. Then he is stupid enough to take a selfie of himself at a football game. I cannot understand how someone can tell those stories when everyone knows they are fabrications. We work with his brother and he goes into fits laughing when we tell him this stuff.

[Lefty Seven]

Survival with severe mental illness demands deception. There's no point telling others truths they can't possibly understand. If you hope to function in a society of stigma, prejudice and cruelty, prepare to lie.

[WishfulThinker66]

Some people can be so vulnerable and lonely they are willing to accept anything.

I believe there is a gullibility that occurs when desperate to love and be loved. The scam artist preys upon this weakness and grooms their victim accordingly. I would bet on the fact that the victims are ultra lonely with a low self-esteem and poor sense of self-worth. Being told all the right things makes them feel better - worthwhile, valued, and loved. They are willing to look the other way in order to hear these things.

I know of such people who swear they are in serious internet relationships that refuse to hear some common sense. They are so wrapped up in the idea of being with someone that they are blind to the obvious.

It is all very sad.

The solution is to practice a safe online presence. The solution is to never make a friendship online with someone you have never met in real life. I strongly believe and encourage this. Don't ever fall into the trap of becoming entangled with someone on the internet no matter how sincere they seem - not even friends of friends. Yes, my strong opinion but I say better to be safe than sorry.