[randomer123]

I've already forgiven everyone else, that was the easy part, I can just forget about them. But it's not so easy to forgive myself for all the stupid things I've done, all the ways I've messed up, all the time I've wasted. Some of the smaller things I've been able to forgive myself for but the main things, I just don't know how.

All I can really tell myself is that it's over now, the damage is done, nothing I can do about it now. All I can do is move on, and not make the same mistakes again.

Regret is such a pointless emotion, I can't change what I've done (or not done). Being angry at myself is stupid and dragging me down. And it's totally pointless. But when I think of how badly I messed up and the consequences, I just can't help getting angry.

But this is a big problem, and something I really need to work on. I want to be free of this. One part at a time maybe.

[Thunder Bow]

You might of had critical parents, and you are still following that pattern. No need to be so critical of yourself.

[MickeyCheeky]

((((randomer123)))) I'm sorry you're struggling. It sounds like you have problems with self-esteem. It's not easy to cope with guilt and regret. Do you see a therapist? I'm sorry you have to deal with this

Wanting to forgive yourself is a very good sign. I promise it's possible - it just takes a lot of time. But you can do it!

[randomer123]

Thanks. I'm hoping I get time today to write a list of the things I regret in my notebook and try to think about each one individually. Then I can work on one at a time, maybe starting with a smaller one.

[BLUEDOVE]

Is there some way you could make amends . . . To self or
other,even if it be a circuitous route? Or anonymously?
Think this over,even devious goodness may cleanse.
Blessings,
BLUEDOVE

[smmath]

It sounds like the regret you have is weighing heavily on you. That's a hard thing to hold.

I apologize if this isn't what you need and feel free to disregard what I say. What I've done in the past is craft and send apology emails to those I've hurt(and it was appropriate to do so.) I also made sure that I actually had something to apologize for. Oftentimes I feel the need to apologize for and beat myself up over things that I don't need to. Being overly critical of ourselves and going hunting for all the things we've done wrong can cause much hurt.

I hope you're able to have grace with yourself and forgiveness will come to you.

[randomer123]

Originally Posted by BLUEDOVE

Is there some way you could make amends . . . To self or
other,even if it be a circuitous route? Or anonymously?
Think this over,even devious goodness may cleanse.
Blessings,
BLUEDOVE

I think I already have forgiven everyone else, that felt like the easy part because I can just forget about them. Now it's myself I need to forgive which is harder. I think I understand why but I just can't seem to put it into words.

Originally Posted by smmath

It sounds like the regret you have is weighing heavily on you. That's a hard thing to hold.

I apologize if this isn't what you need and feel free to disregard what I say. What I've done in the past is craft and send apology emails to those I've hurt(and it was appropriate to do so.) I also made sure that I actually had something to apologize for. Oftentimes I feel the need to apologize for and beat myself up over things that I don't need to. Being overly critical of ourselves and going hunting for all the things we've done wrong can cause much hurt.

I hope you're able to have grace with yourself and forgiveness will come to you.

I have already made these sorry notes (but not sent them) I've done a few in a thread on here. These things left now only hurt myself.

I have managed to identify a few separate things but it just feels like such a mess. I need to try to find the beginning and have a good think, scribble some notes and try to straighten it all out.