[Fuzzybear]

How do you deal with anger, aside from meds? Any helpful suggestions are welcome. To be honest, one of the things I sometimes feel angry about is that I can’t tolerate meds (I used to take them..prescribed meds.. probably not a good idea as it turned out..my depression/anxiety etc is mostly caused by trauma I believe...) But this post is not about meds. I just wanted to give some very brief background for anyone who may not know me. I also am allergic to pets so this isn’t a helpful suggestion for me personally either. I love dogs and all furry critters so this is a loss for me

Have people found yoga helpful? Does anyone have any specific mindfulness techniques they’ve found helpful?

I’ve recently been playing the piano I recommend this as a good and creative interest/hobby - or keyboards I can sometimes lose myself in playing the piano.. this sometimes helps with anger or anhedonia or other difficult emotions (I guess anhedonia isn’t an emotion.. )

Do you find having empathy for others helps your anger? I do have empathy.. maybe too much sometimes. But not for those who abused me

[Skeezyks]

Anger is something I've always struggled with... along with high levels of anxiety. (I think it is generally accepted that the two are related. So I suppose anything that helps reduce one's level of anxiety would be helpful in managing anger.) About the only techniques I have for dealing with my anger, at this point, are the practice of compassionate abiding & going for long walks.

When I was younger, vigorous exercise was helpful. (Chopping wood was a favorite!) But I'm older now & my living situation is such that there's not a lot of that sort of thing I can do. (I'm not a person to join a gym.) I have done yoga in the past. But I never found it to be particularly helpful in addressing either my anxiety or my anger.

One of the problems I have is that sometimes my anger is fairly mild, more like irritation perhaps. But then sometimes I get really pissed! (Typically at myself.) When I get really mad, my anger flames so quickly that there's simply no opportunity to control it. That's when I sometimes just have to go for a long walk. I don't think I'm necessarily big on empathy...

[Fuzzybear]

Thanks Skeezyks for your response. I’ve also always struggled with high levels of anxiety

Maybe I’ll go for more long walks soon, I hope the residents won’t mind a bear roaming around the neighbourhood

Originally Posted by Skeezyks

Anger is something I've always struggled with... along with high levels of anxiety. (I think it is generally accepted that the two are related. So I suppose anything that helps reduce one's level of anxiety would be helpful in managing anger.) About the only techniques I have for dealing with my anger, at this point, are the practice of compassionate abiding & going for long walks.

When I was younger, vigorous exercise was helpful. (Chopping wood was a favorite!) But I'm older now & my living situation is such that there's not a lot of that sort of thing I can do. (I'm not a person to join a gym.) I have done yoga in the past. But I never found it to be particularly helpful in addressing either my anxiety or my anger.

One of the problems I have is that sometimes my anger is fairly mild, more like irritation perhaps. But then sometimes I get really pissed! (Typically at myself.) When I get really mad, my anger flames so quickly that there's simply no opportunity to control it. That's when I sometimes just have to go for a long walk. I don't think I'm necessarily big on empathy...

[CepheidVariable]

Good question. Even without MH issues, anger is the scary one that people don't like about themselves and don't know to deal with well. Let me think....

A big thing for me is anger while ruminating over things. When I'm not usefully problem solving or processing, but pointlessly ruminating. It's hard, but I try to catch when I'm doing that and force myself to stop any way I can. Tell myself, I'm not comforting myself, or advocating for myself, or fixing anything -- just reliving the hurt.

That rarely works. My brain likes being obstreperous.


So then I go to distraction. Do something that absorbs enough of my attention. So no TV or anything that lets my mind wander back to it. Errands, to-do lists, productive stuff is really good. Exercise is good, especially vigorous.

And the entire list of activities and things that are supposed to help with depression and avoidant anxiety. So it's not completely distraction. It's also about trying to fill my life with positive things to counter the bad.

I had some luck with simple breathing meditation -- just clearing my head and thinking of breathing and gently being. After a while I could even disengage emotionally from the memories. I never got the hang of accepting/embracing the emotions with the memory, but I could observe the memory without feeling the emotion. The first time I did that was awesome.


I haven't properly done yoga. Just some yoga poses in exercise. Although it can be hard to be angry when you feel goofy trying to attempt some pose as an uncoordinated middle aged man. Seriously, women look way cooler when doing yoga than guys do.

Um, opposite emotion? E.g. enjoy something funny. Sorry, now I'm just doing the DBT list. You can look that up.

Humor is really good. It's why I'm often such a dork on the forums. Sue me.


Recognize that the anger will pass. So you might as well let go now. Seriously. Anger is a flare that overwhelms you. And then you go back to your rational, balanced state. This is one time you *don't* want to live in the moment. I'm not saying anger isn't an important emotion that needs to be validated. But seething anger is just something you get lost in. (Good luck with this one, you'll need it.)


There's a theory that anger is a "secondary" emotion. We become angry when we are frustrated in our desires and needs. First you feel hurt, or disgusted, or threatened, or something you care about feels threatened or in danger or lost. So then you become angry in response. This theory recommends recognizing the initial emotion and dealing with that to help dissipate the anger.


Not giving a over whatever it is.


I find punching bags and otherwise "getting the anger out" doesn't really seem to work for me. It seems to reinforce or otherwise feed the anger. YMMV. :shrug:

That's all I've got right now....

[Fuzzybear]

Thanks Ceph for your thoughtful reply, this is helpful to me (and I’m sure to others reading also)

Originally Posted by CepheidVariable

Good question. Even without MH issues, anger is the scary one that people don't like about themselves and don't know to deal with well. Let me think....

A big thing for me is anger while ruminating over things. When I'm not usefully problem solving or processing, but pointlessly ruminating. It's hard, but I try to catch when I'm doing that and force myself to stop any way I can. Tell myself, I'm not comforting myself, or advocating for myself, or fixing anything -- just reliving the hurt.

That rarely works. My brain likes being obstreperous.


So then I go to distraction. Do something that absorbs enough of my attention. So no TV or anything that lets my mind wander back to it. Errands, to-do lists, productive stuff is really good. Exercise is good, especially vigorous.

And the entire list of activities and things that are supposed to help with depression and avoidant anxiety. So it's not completely distraction. It's also about trying to fill my life with positive things to counter the bad.

I had some luck with simple breathing meditation -- just clearing my head and thinking of breathing and gently being. After a while I could even disengage emotionally from the memories. I never got the hang of accepting/embracing the emotions with the memory, but I could observe the memory without feeling the emotion. The first time I did that was awesome.


I haven't properly done yoga. Just some yoga poses in exercise. Although it can be hard to be angry when you feel goofy trying to attempt some pose as an uncoordinated middle aged man. Seriously, women look way cooler when doing yoga than guys do.

Um, opposite emotion? E.g. enjoy something funny. Sorry, now I'm just doing the DBT list. You can look that up.

Humor is really good. It's why I'm often such a dork on the forums. Sue me.


Recognize that the anger will pass. So you might as well let go now. Seriously. Anger is a flare that overwhelms you. And then you go back to your rational, balanced state. This is one time you *don't* want to live in the moment. I'm not saying anger isn't an important emotion that needs to be validated. But seething anger is just something you get lost in. (Good luck with this one, you'll need it.)


There's a theory that anger is a "secondary" emotion. We become angry when we are frustrated in our desires and needs. First you feel hurt, or disgusted, or threatened, or something you care about feels threatened or in danger or lost. So then you become angry in response. This theory recommends recognizing the initial emotion and dealing with that to help dissipate the anger.


Not giving a over whatever it is.


I find punching bags and otherwise "getting the anger out" doesn't really seem to work for me. It seems to reinforce or otherwise feed the anger. YMMV. :shrug:

That's all I've got right now....

[MickeyCheeky]

I think yoga is an excellent idea, Fuzzybear! And playing the piano sounds lovely. Just try to find some distractions wheneevr you feel angry or stressed. Try to find as many relaxing activities as you can. If you need to vent your frustration, perhaps you could try to buy a punching bag. Whathever helps you. Remember that we're here for you. Feel free to vent here as much as you want. Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes. Sending many hugs to you

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by MickeyCheeky

I think yoga is an excellent idea, Fuzzybear! And playing the piano sounds lovely. Just try to find some distractions wheneevr you feel angry or stressed. Try to find as many relaxing activities as you can. If you need to vent your frustration, perhaps you could try to buy a punching bag. Whathever helps you. Remember that we're here for you. Feel free to vent here as much as you want. Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes. Sending many hugs to you

Thanks for your kind support (((((((( Mickey ))))))))

[Fuzzybear]

I wish they (irl) listened. Not everyone is “the same”..... this isn’t rocket science? they hurt too many good people damn it. A punching bag wouldn’t cut it, they should be freakin struck off some of those. Irl. Ouch and they did it to me again only the other day (irl) “can these people get anything right?” (Not about anyone on pc)

Just venting

[NeedHaldol]

I used to have a seething anger for everyone and everything. I was exactly like the Social Distortion song "I Was Wrong"

I have eventually tackled my mental illness and my anger has subsided. A lot of this has to do with the path my life took from a point of ending it to where I am now, married for 10 years and a nice life.

I mainly just tried to get f***ed up and escape. But then that didn't work anymore. I do play music and create it. It brings me joy, but now I am in a public arena and it is hard sometimes. I know not to compare to others, but it is hard. I find myself jealous and angry at some people's success.

I am currently working on my need to get back to not caring how people regard me or give me positive feedback and just create for the fun of creating. Trying to do that.

[healingme4me]

I don't know if meditative or mantra as in retraining oneself/mind but remind yourself that it's ok to be angry. Sounds like your irl 'persons' probably would cause anger in most anyone? Then play some tchaichovsky

[CepheidVariable]

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

I wish they (irl) listened. Not everyone is “the same”..... this isn’t rocket science? they hurt too many good people damn it. A punching bag wouldn’t cut it, they should be freakin struck off some of those. Irl. Ouch and they did it to me again only the other day (irl) “can these people get anything right?” (Not about anyone on pc)

Just venting

(((Fuzzy)))