What to do when a friend doesnt accept your apology

Why wouldn't someone not accept a apology from what happened 2 years ago?

I wrote this message to them down below.

Dear Joise.
How are you?
I want to apologize what happened back at 2017. From what I recalled and experience myself that I sent a picture of my art and I received a message saying "It looks good but don't you think the head is too big" when I read this I took this as criticism as the whole being of myself as a bad person. At that time I did not know what was going on. So I responded with "I dont appreciate the negative comment" I recalled that you were upset and hurt. When I received the messages I felt attacked and I couldn't understand why at the time you were upset. I thought at the time I was going by what old therapist told me what to say in situations like that. I didnt realised that I dismissed you and your comment and your feedback and I'm sorry for that.
I also want to apologize for talking to Hank about you to him. I own that responsibility and I know talking behind people backs go against my vaules that why I felt so guilty at that time. At that time I wasnt aware of my emotions or what I was doing. I was at the time seeking understanding and vaildatation since at that time my partner didnt know how and my family didnt. I know it's very hurtful to be spoken behind someone back I have experience this too. I assume you felt betrayed and rejected that I spoke behind your back which is understandable I would feel that too. Probably felt you couldn't trust me anymore cause I broke your trust. Also when you helped me through message and I said only adrian cared maybe felt taken advantage of and not appreciated you helped me. And maybe felt used. I apologize for all of that. Also for defriending you and adding you friend on facebook I now understand what was going on. I was scared I be rejected and when I de friended you I felt guilty and then I got scared again. Because of my sensitivity to rejection. Which isnt you it's me and back in my family.history.
I send this to make peace. It's ok if you dont want to be friends I understand. I just want to make peace and let you know. I wish you a happy fillfulled life and may peace always be in your heart where ever you go in life.

So "apparently" that friend sent it. But his comments became short me to me recently online. I noticed a change of behaviour response. I had this strange feeling maybe Joise and him were talking behind my back.

Well I learnt this friend lied to me. They claim that they were going to a boot camp and be back in the city on 22 February. That there boot camp was for 6 weeks but was going for 2 weeks. I asked questions about it but them seem very vague. They showed me on the map online were they were going. Which I learnt was the same area where my mum grew up. Anyway they posted a video on Instagram of them running on a beach and I thought maybe it's part of there boot camp. I eventually learnt following day there was photo of them and Joise. My gosh it ruined my whole day. I cried I had hot flashes on my cheeks I still dont know why I had hot flashes on my cheeks. I unfollow them so I won't be triggered by that again! I felt betrayed. Yes I did use DBT skills put my face in cold water but it didbt work. I used this sheet my therapist gave me to ask how am I feeling and wise mind but it didnt work even later on that evening. I just got unhelpful thoughts in my mind.

And well joise never replied to my response. That friend said "apparently" probably lying anyway. That they will reply when she "ready".

It really upset me. Because I put a lot of thought in that message and they probably knowing them tell themselves some story like I got the therapist to write that which isnt true because I clearly remember writing the message at a evening on a Sunday!

After number of weeks I show my apology to my therapist and they said it was perfect!
So I'm really dumbfounded.

I would say Joise did builled me with this other person we will name then Annabelle back when we did a art course.
Annabelle well we had history of her bullying me at high school to the point I had 6 weeks off school! And she even builled my little sister who had none thing to do with what happened between me and her. That we both had to change schools. That was all girl catholic school. So it was great the one year! No Annabelle! But she did try to spread rumours of me to this one guy in my school. The following year she came to my school! I was so terrified. We eventually became friends. But, she builled me again at the art course with Joise that I had to change classes.

Well following year I try to mend things between them at the art course but I wasnt allowed to sit next to them.
I never had let's say heathly friends so I end up being friends with bullies.

I guess my question is how do I let it go and move on. I dont know how? There is also the fear that joise goes around and talks behind my back so even if I try to apply to an art job she say nah dont get her. I never succeed in my art. She works in the art industry but in some game company. So I dont know what to do.

I just dont know how to move on from this. I dont have any friends.

I have a few ex friends that even if they gave me a million dollars I'd still have nothing to do with them. Some people don't want to be friends anymore.

I'm sorry to hear you dont have friends. I'm in the same boat but it's me that chooses no friends. I keep my private life separate from my work life. I have to fake it 5 days a week so after work I'm exhausted and cant deal with "normal" people because I'm ready to be my bipolar self. I'm currently looking for other bipolar people in my area to get to know. Tomorrow is my first bipolar and depression support group. Hopefully there won't be just therapists and family members wanting to get a better understanding of bipolar and depression.

Not in a mood to teach people when I'm already doing that plus fixing issues all day at work.

Good luck on the friend search.

Hello TeaFruit. You've posted an almost identical thread on Relationships and Communications section and I responded.

A quick recap:
She may have accepted your apology in her heart, but forgiveness does not = reconciliation.

And let me add:
Maybe it's not her, but it's you that need to forgive yourself and let go. You can consider the message you wrote to her as giving you a closure. You said you want to let her know, and you did. You said you understand if she doesn't want to be friends, and you have to mean it.

You move on by staying true to your words, and focusing on finding new friends.

Good luck!