[URBeautiful]

Everything just feels like a lot right now. It seems like everything is hitting me at once and I'm not really sure how to manage it. There's a lot going on at school, at work, and in my home life.

School isn't anything insane. There is a lot of assignments and tests coming up that I'm scared I won't complete or succeed in because of the other aspects of my life.

Work is one of the big areas I am struggling in. The dynamic of the family I watch has completely changed within 2 weeks. This has caused the kids I watch to turn into crazy people. It has also left a lot to be figured out. I try to help as much as possible but the whole situation is emotionally exhausting. I love the kids I watch and want what's best for them. This often causes me to overextend myself. I'm worried about how the kids will react to the change in dynamic and how it will affect their behavior. They are really good kids, I have worked hard over the last few years to get them to the point they are at. It also makes me feel selfish. Here the families whole world is changing and I'm worried about how it's going to affect me and my life. I'm worried about working more and how I'll cope with everything going on.

I am also in the process of moving. I have to be out of my place by the end of July and we have yet to find a house (Nor have I packed anything.) I'm scared it's not going to get done. It feels like I haven't done my part because I haven't called many places. My boyfriend has done basically all the work thus far and it feels like this is too much pressure for him. He is so helpful and nice to me and I kinda feel like a horrible girlfriend compared to him. I don't have the time or energy to do nice things in return. I don't spend enough time with my cat and by the time I get home at night, I don't have the energy to accomplish much of anything. It feels like I'm failing at all aspects of my life and I don't know how to dig myself out of this hole before I slip farther.

If I don't start working on things at school it will become a problem. I feel like I'm going to get to mid-July and be even more overwhelmed. I'm going to have a million assignments be working constantly and trying to move. I feel like a bad person because I don't really talk to anyone but I can't deal with the neediness my friends tend to have. I have like 2 friends and they ALWAYS need something. I don't even feel emotionally capable of listening to complain. I feel alone on top of everything. I don't know how to manage anything that's going on without feeling like it's me that's failing.

[Marylin]

Slow down.Breathe and relax.Let your boyfriend take the pressure of finding a place and the move!You are under enough pressure as it is!Your friends needs will have to be let go off!Explain to them you can't listen as usual as you have a lot of course work to do.And as for the course work don't think of it all at once and become overwhelmed and anxious.Break it down into one essay piece of work at a time and each one concentrate on that in the here and now so it will become more manageable.Find time to relax.Make time to play with your cat.That will be good for you both and relaxing for you.Walk or take up yoga do what you can to distress!

As far as the kids that you are looking after!You are doing a great job!The thing is you must stop overextending yourself with them.They won't appreciate you getting too involved in their issues.There is a fine line between being supportive and getting overinvolved.Its not good for you to get overinvolved to the extent that you are worried and anxious about them all the time.Have faith that you have schooled them well enough to sort their own problems and emotions out.Step back and invest less time and emotions in these kids.You will be better for it!
The kids will adjust that is what kids are good at.There is no shame or guilt worrying about yourself and being alone and needing support.Maybe it's time your friends stepped up and supported you instead of the other way round?Let them know you are struggling and can do with their support!

[MickeyCheeky]

I COMPLETELY agree with what Marylin har already wisely said better than I ever could, @URBeautful! Try to break down EVERYTHING you have to down in smaller pieces! Break down your assignments for example. Take some time for your cat and most importantly for YOURSELF. Make a schedule and try to follow it as strictly as you possibly can. Try to make a daily journal about ALL the things you've accomplished that day! Perhaps that will give you extra confidence to keep working on yourself and your own life! Just give yourself X amount fo time to do X things each and every day. Hopefully you won't be so stressed that way. I also completely agree with Marylin about not getting too involved with those kids' lives. Just do what you need to do. Take care of them like you're already WONDERFULLY doing. Your job ends there though. I can certainly understand getting fond of them after a LONG time you've spent with them, but you already have your own life to live. They have theirs. Try to help your boyfriend if you can but please don't feel guilty about letting him do some of the work. You have A LOT on your plate right now as well. Perhaps you explain what you're gong through to him if you feel like it. Just be there, help him, but remember that you hae other things to do as well and that it's not like you're just laying around doing nothing. It's perfectly understandable. I'm so sorry your friends aren't being too supportive. Are there any other people you can turn to for support? Any family members? In any case, don't be afraid to ask for support to your friends. If they're TRUE friends they'll make some time to listen to YOUR problems as well like you did with THEIRS. Let's hope they'll listen to what you have to say and understand you. If it can help a bit we're here for you as well if you're looking for support. We'll gladly listen to you My inbox is always open for you. Feel free to PM me anytime. Keep us updated on your situation and let us know if there's ANYTHING at all we can do to help you and support you. WE'RE HERE FOR YOU! THAT'S A PROMISE! Please don't you EVER forget to take some time for your own self-care. That's VERY important. Stay safe and take GREAT care of yourself. Wish you the BEST of luck in BOTH your healing and your life! Sending many safe, warm hugs to you, your boyfriend, your family and ALL the people you love and who love you, URBeautiful!

[URBeautiful]

Originally Posted by MickeyCheeky

I COMPLETELY agree with what Marylin har already wisely said better than I ever could, @URBeautful! Try to break down EVERYTHING you have to down in smaller pieces! Break down your assignments for example. Take some time for your cat and most importantly for YOURSELF. Make a schedule and try to follow it as strictly as you possibly can. Try to make a daily journal about ALL the things you've accomplished that day! Perhaps that will give you extra confidence to keep working on yourself and your own life! Just give yourself X amount fo time to do X things each and every day. Hopefully you won't be so stressed that way. I also completely agree with Marylin about not getting too involved with those kids' lives. Just do what you need to do. Take care of them like you're already WONDERFULLY doing. Your job ends there though. I can certainly understand getting fond of them after a LONG time you've spent with them, but you already have your own life to live. They have theirs. Try to help your boyfriend if you can but please don't feel guilty about letting him do some of the work. You have A LOT on your plate right now as well. Perhaps you explain what you're gong through to him if you feel like it. Just be there, help him, but remember that you hae other things to do as well and that it's not like you're just laying around doing nothing. It's perfectly understandable. I'm so sorry your friends aren't being too supportive. Are there any other people you can turn to for support? Any family members? In any case, don't be afraid to ask for support to your friends. If they're TRUE friends they'll make some time to listen to YOUR problems as well like you did with THEIRS. Let's hope they'll listen to what you have to say and understand you. If it can help a bit we're here for you as well if you're looking for support. We'll gladly listen to you My inbox is always open for you. Feel free to PM me anytime. Keep us updated on your situation and let us know if there's ANYTHING at all we can do to help you and support you. WE'RE HERE FOR YOU! THAT'S A PROMISE! Please don't you EVER forget to take some time for your own self-care. That's VERY important. Stay safe and take GREAT care of yourself. Wish you the BEST of luck in BOTH your healing and your life! Sending many safe, warm hugs to you, your boyfriend, your family and ALL the people you love and who love you, URBeautiful!

I appreciate the advice and kind words. Things are starting to stable out a little. I have been trying to do little things for my boyfriend like getting him candy he likes. It makes me feel somewhat better. Unfortunately, the kids are young so it's difficult to let them live their lives. There is also a new girl who watches them in the evenings I just don't like so that has been difficult. She does a lot them I'm scared is going to undo my work. For example, I have been pushing them to be more independent and do things like pick up after themselves and get themselves dressed (to the best of their ability). This new girl just does EVERYTHING for them. It's hard to find the balance of what to tell the mom, while not sounding like i'm complaining. I don't have many people in my support system. My family isn't the best and my two friends are becoming increasingly nonreliable. One is actually moving a hour away which I can't decide if it is a good thing or a bad thing. She's moving in with someone she's known about 3 weeks. It makes me worry because she's one of my only friends. I love her and her one year old. I'm trying to work towards having the energy to do more in a day so that I don't fall into a hole. Thank you again.