[sophiebunny]

Does anyone else feel dread rather than excitement when you achieve a big milestone? Whenever I release a book, I can't kind the joy. I can only find the terror. I have a list of "what iffs" that literally prevent me from doing anything but be fearful of disaster. I asked my therapist why do I write if it creates so much angst. She answered, "Because you were born to write and the anxiety is the cost that comes with it." I'm trying to find comfort in that.

[susannahsays]

Congratulations on your book release.

I guess I dread some milestones, if they mean that there will be change of any kind - even positive - in my life. I find change very difficult as it causes me a lot of anxiety. I don't know why. Sometimes, I can't even identify what I'm even worried about. Regardless, I suspect the degree of my anxiety is out of proportion.

[sophiebunny]

I do think it's a change thing with me also. It's also fear of the unknown. I write about navigating life with a mental illness. So, its autobiographical. The cold fact is not everyone is going to like the book. Which translates in my brain as they don't like me. I worry about judgement, but I write about all the different aspects of being mentally ill because our journeys matter...not just mine, all of ours. So, I write and I'm terrified.

Congratulation from me too. Yes, I guess I get an exhausted feeling when achieving a milestone. Usually reaching a milestone for me isn't a very large accomplishment. A goal I made for myself is to reward myself when I reach my goals… SO, on a personal note, I am waiting for a reason to buy myself a new reading chair. Back to my point. I am sure to give myself a fair amount of time before setting my next goal. I think Susanna is thinking when she says changes included in a major life event may cause anxiety, as would any- day to day or annual event.

[susannahsays]

Well, some people might not like the book, and some people might even think they know you just because they read the book. But they can't know you just from reading your book, even though it's autobiographical. Since they don't know you, they cannot dislike you.

[sophiebunny]

Originally Posted by susannahsays

Well, some people might not like the book, and some people might even think they know you just because they read the book. But they can't know you just from reading your book, even though it's autobiographical. Since they don't know you, they cannot dislike you.

Fortunately I write under my Hebrew name and very few people know who I am. My therapist sounds a lot like you. She says sending my story out into the world will be rejected by some and embraced by others. I told her all I want is to help one person who's struggling. If I accomplish that, the writing, the angst, and the fear become worth it. My first book was about navigating treatment when you have a severe mental illness. It's the story of the development of the clinical relationship between my psychiatrist and I. I received a lot of good feedback about how my story helped them have a better relationship with their psychiatrist. That made Teacup worth writing. My new book is about navigating parenting with a severe mental illness. It begins with my first tears of post partum psychosis and ends with my daughter graduating from high school. The journey is what happens in the middle.

It's a four book series. My 3rd book will be navigating stigma and my 4th book will be navigating spirituality. A lot more writing to do. I have a committed publisher.

Thanks for responding.

[Taylor27]

Congratulations hugs

[sophiebunny]

I chose to write about the psychiatrist-patient relationship because it had rarely been written about from the patient's perspective. My publisher loved the idea of a patient writing about her psychiatrist from the beginning of treatment to current time. I had to discuss the idea with my psychiatrist. He thought it was an interesting perspective. He was adamite that he was going to be completely hands off. He called it "my baby". He did clear up clinical memories for me. I also gave him the completed manuscript so if he objected to something I could edit it out. He handed it back to me and said "it's perfect just as it is." My publisher had some edits and from that, Teacup was born.

Sorry, I hope you all aren't bored. This is my life, my treatment with my psychiatrist and my therapist all played out over time.

[coolibrarian]

I have a milestone coming up: I'm going to retire soon. I have all kinds of anxiety about it, for a number of reasons. I also have some pre-retirement depression.
So, I'm not excited about this milestone, while other people seem to be excited for me.
Congratulations on your book. I just submitted my 2nd manuscript and am editing a 3rd; my first book was published in 2017.

[sophiebunny]

Originally Posted by coolibrarian

I have a milestone coming up: I'm going to retire soon. I have all kinds of anxiety about it, for a number of reasons. I also have some pre-retirement depression.
So, I'm not excited about this milestone, while other people seem to be excited for me.
Congratulations on your book. I just submitted my 2nd manuscript and am editing a 3rd; my first book was published in 2017.

Mazel tov! I'm not ready for my third book yet. I've been writing magazine articles and guest blogs. I'm between books. 2 books in 3 years was a lot for me.

[velcro003]

how wonderful you wrote a 2nd book (and a 1st!) I can see why it would be anxiety provoking, especially as its autobiographical.

[Elio]

I don't dread reaching a milestone, I do find myself let down by no longer having the big goal to strive towards. For example, we bought a picker shack when we bought our house because it was what we could afford. It didn't meet code in any way shape or form. The 2x4's in the walls were turned sideways, the foundation was on tree stumps... to name a few. We worked on making it liveable and saved money for 7 yrs. It was a primary focus of our lives. We tore it down and had a new house built. Once it was done, I had not joy and still have no joy of the house. I was lost and for several years in a mild depression because I didn't know what to do next. I do this with almost all projects and in the end find no joy or happiness of the end product. It is like another thing has been crossed of my to do list, nothing more, nothing less.

Congratulations on completing your book. Yes, beyond the typical artists anxiety, this one is a autobiography and that means lots of vulnerability being put out into the world. It is brave of you to be willing to share such intimate thoughts and feelings.

[sophiebunny]

Originally Posted by Elio

I don't dread reaching a milestone, I do find myself let down by no longer having the big goal to strive towards. For example, we bought a picker shack when we bought our house because it was what we could afford. It didn't meet code in any way shape or form. The 2x4's in the walls were turned sideways, the foundation was on tree stumps... to name a few. We worked on making it liveable and saved money for 7 yrs. It was a primary focus of our lives. We tore it down and had a new house built. Once it was done, I had not joy and still have no joy of the house. I was lost and for several years in a mild depression because I didn't know what to do next. I do this with almost all projects and in the end find no joy or happiness of the end product. It is like another thing has been crossed of my to do list, nothing more, nothing less.

Congratulations on completing your book. Yes, beyond the typical artists anxiety, this one is a autobiography and that means lots of vulnerability being put out into the world. It is brave of you to be willing to share such intimate thoughts and feelings.

Everytime I submit a final manuscript to my publisher, I feel empty. I pour my soul into writing it and then its done. I understand what you mean about not knowing what to do next. The worst part of writing a book is the marketing. I have to speak in front of groups. Do newspaper interviews. Do podcast interviews. I hate that. I just want to write, not market.

[autonoe]

Yes, this happens to me. It feels like a form of performance anxiety. If I accomplish something good, then I immediately start to worry about judgment from others or my next potential failure. I can rarely just bask in the moment.

Congratulations on your book.

[MickeyCheeky]

Writing a book is like getting a piece of you out there. It's normal to feel a bit empty afterward. I'd say it's worth it though - if you like it. You're sharing your experience with the world and that's REALLY valuable in my opinion. Congratulations on your second book! KEEP WRITING! It's good when we can do the things that we REALLY, TRULY Love! Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @sheltiemom2007, and ALL of your Loved Ones!