[LilyMop]

I’ve been thinking a lot about envy and feelings of inadequacy. Envy is not jealousy. Envy is wanting what others have versus jealousy is fear of losing something. Both are destructive emotions and I’ve felt the negative repercussions of both at various times in my life.

The other day someone told me that if I spend time feeling envious of others, it takes away time and energy I can spend on doing or having the things I want in my own life. Envy just causes me to get in my own way and keeps me from achieving my own happiness.

I’ve thought about this a lot lately. I have tripped myself up at times just by simply taking my eyes off my own goals and unraveling all my hard work in my own life.

The other thing to add to this is that I’m wondering why in some cases I feel perfectly content and I truly don’t care what anybody else would have to say or what they are doing. Yet in other cases I do get hung up on envy and I wonder what is the difference between one situation versus another. That’s something for me to really think about and work on.

I would appreciate any thoughts you have to add to this. I want to reflect on it for a while.

[TunedOut]

Well the definition of envy is: a feeling of discontented or resentful longing aroused by someone else's possessions, qualities, or luck.

Sometimes I think we feel discontented because we haven't consistently done the hard work to make our own luck. Some of our talents are what we were born with but our talents are just wasted if we don't try to develop them into worthwhile actions that positively effect others. It is a tall order but what we need to focus on. Focusing on other possessions, qualities, or luck is wasting valuable time. Time we could be using to make ourselves more like who we want to be. Envy is the opposite of hope. Hope is envisioning that we could be just like the people who we look up to. It is one of the worst emotions and contributes to depression.

[MickeyCheeky]

I can relate to what you're saying, @LilyMop!
I AM TRULY, DEEPLY SORRY THAT YOU'RE HURTING AND STRUGGLING SO BADLY AND THAT YOU'RE GOING THROUGH ALL OF THIS! I COMPLETELY AGREE WITH WHAT THE WISE AND WONDERFUL @TunedOut HAS ALREADY WISELY AND WONDERFULLY SAID BETTER THAN I EVER COULD! THANK YOU SO VERY VERY VERY VERY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY MUCH FOR SHARING YOUR EXPERIENCE WITH US, @TunedOut! I, too, feel envious sometimes. Other times I don't. I am not sure what that may be, but perhaps the answer is that I am envious most of the time and sometimes I try to deny that to myself without fully believing it. I am not sure if you can relate to what I'm saying though! Either way, it's important to acknowledge envy when we're feeling it and recognize that it is not a "useful" emotion, although it is STILL valid of course! Good on you for reflecting about it as it will be easier to fight back this way! Feel free to PM me ANYTIME when you need someone to talk to or vent to or if you need some advice and support! I'll try to get back at you AS SOON AS I POSSIBLY CAN! THAT'S A PROMISE! YOU CAN REST ASSURED OF THAT! I am SURE plenty of others will ALSO GLADLY, KINDLY, WISELY, BEAUTIFULLY AND WONDERFULLY help you out as well! I AM SURE OF THAT! YOU CAN REST ASSURED OF THAT! Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @LilyMop, your family, your friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking! I am TRULY, DEEPLY SORRY that you're HURTING AND STRUGGLING SO BADLY and that you're GOING THROUGH ALL OF THIS! KEEP FIGHTING AND KEEP ROCKING NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS! PLEASE NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER GIVE UP HOPE! PLEASE ALWAYS ALWAY ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS BE KIND TO YOURSELF AS MUCH AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN BECAUSE YOU NEED IT AND DESERVE IT JUST AS MUCH AS ANYONE ELSE AND YOU KNOW THAT'S ABSOLUTELY AND UNDENIABLY TRUE!

[LilyMop]

@TunedOut

I love what you said about hope. Sadness and envy are hopeless feelings. I’m not a religious person but I love Proverbs: Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is the tree of life.

Yes, I’m a firm believer in hard work. Sometimes I have to remember that working hard all my life has been a very good thing since I wasn’t blessed with much talent. That said, I sometimes miss out on fun things and building relationships because I work so much.

[LilyMop]

@MickeyCheeky

Yes, I do understand what you mean about being envious at some things but not at others. I think it’s important for me to look at why this is. I also understand what you said about denying feelings of envy. That’s what I understood you to say. I know I do that. It’s a lack of self awareness on my part and leads to me making comparisons with others. It’s so much easier to accept and appreciate others if I’m self aware. These are my thoughts and experiences on that matter anyway. Everyone is different and everyone has a different perspective. I learn a lot from listening to the insight of others.

You’re a very kind soul. I am always happy to hear from you and I appreciate so much the compassion you give to everyone. You are also always welcome to PM me. Thank you so much.

[TunedOut]

Originally Posted by LilyMop

@TunedOut
Yes, I’m a firm believer in hard work. Sometimes I have to remember that working hard all my life has been a very good thing since I wasn’t blessed with much talent. That said, I sometimes miss out on fun things and building relationships because I work so much.

Work is work. It can be hard to find jobs that we both love and pay well enough.
Since you work so hard for your money, I assume you are learning to value yourself by "paying yourself first"? As in, save some of it and use some of it to invest in things that are for you? I know, that in the past, you have spent a lot of it on others but I think you have learned not to do that? You won't be working forever. I don't know about you, but, retirement is less than a decade away for me. Take care of your mind, body and spirit as much as you can so that you can enjoy the fruits of your labor someday. My dad, MIL, and many other people I know have enjoyed their long retirements....