regret

so all last week, I'd been messaging my doc's nurse about some things that were going on since I was last there the previous Friday (medical physical things). I sent her another message over the patient-portal Thursday night, thinking she'd see it on Friday. WELL..... it turns out she wasn't there that day, so the nurse filling in sent it directly to the doctor!!!

I feel like a complete *s* now! first off, I should have NEVER sent a detailed message like that to ANY doctors office. second, I was still kinda freaked out and wanted that 'reassurance' from them that things were "okay". third, I recently had the death of my best friend, the person I would've sent those messages to (instead of bothering the nurse & doc).

now I wish I could just forget the past week and a half! I'm also scared my doc & nurse will see me differently now.

do I just not say anything else, and let the air clear until I see them again next week? or do I apologize for bothering them with 'small crap', me in the wake of my bf's death? don't want to do something else 'stupid'.....
[I've now got no one to talk to except you guys on here.....]

Yes, I understand why that'd make you feel upset. I am not sure what you wrote exactly, but as long as it wasn't anything too "private!, lke your mentioning suicidal thoughts r something like that, I don't think you should have any problem at all. I'd suggest to wait untile they bring it up. If they don't, that's better for you, right? Try not to worry too much. They're there to help you and NOT judge you. Also, I am SO SORRY for the Loss of your Friend! Take your time to Grieve your Loss, ok? Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @jrae, your Family, your Friends, your Therapists, your Pdocs, your Doctors and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking no matter what happens!

I think that unless you are a danger? They probably don't think much of it.

It sounds like you are being a little hard on yourself. Keep in mind that everybody goes through difficult emotional times. I know you feel embarrassed and I probably would too but I bet your doctor didn’t think anything of other than to ensure your safety.

nope, nothing like that! I try my hardest to keep the physical-health and mental-health separate!!!! physical medicine doctors know nothing about my mental illnesses - it complicates things and makes them muddy & messy. in my messed-up view, it's just better to keep those two separate

Hey @jrae I'm agreeing with @MickeyCheeky here that what you did is very good and honestly, I shouldn't think anyone would be offended. If one of my patients sent little penned stories, I'd feel very moved that they could think of us so sweetly as that.


Try not to overthink and worry about it. I get cards of thanks sent me, and that is also heartwarming.

It’s hard to know who to reach out to and when. Don’t be so hard on yourself. You deserve love and kindness.

If it's any comfort to you, @jrae we doctors despite all our training in physical medicine have feelings of our own, be they bereavement (I lost a patient yesterday) and the distress of the teenager's family, or of my own physical and emotional pain, we like you joined PC to get help, support and encouragement. As a member-friend offering encouragement, I urge you to tell your doctor of your condition so he or she can reach out and help you. And they will do this because they have been thoroughly trained to understand, and to help. And maybe to prescribe you a medicine to make you feel better.

I have my own doctor to help me through the difficulties I live with. As an NHS GP I cannot self-prescribe because this is a grey area for us doctors. But my own doctor is as equally empathic and supportive to me as her own patients, therefore your doctor will think highly of you, if you open up and explain what you are going through. But to withhold your emotional problems and you will get nowhere, and you need help.

I realise it's hard for you and I agree with June that you deserve love and kindness, but try and gather up the courage to reach out to your doctor. Give me a visit sometime and let me know your progress.

(((safe hugs))) @jrae (((safe hugs)))

@Access Denied ,

thanks for your post. and thanks for all the medical things you do for your patients. my sibling is an RN so I kinda get it. that and have been in ERs and in Ambu's and things like that.

to you and all the others out there that "help" people, I say thanks!

about two weeks ago, I had a hypotensive episode in the middle of my PM&R doc appt. it freaked me out cuz I lost consciousness and have like a 5min gap in my memory. but I knew I was in 'good hands' with my doc and nurse there.

anyways, today I hand-delivered 2 thank you gifts at my appt, one to each of them. the gift included a Thank You beanie baby bear and a hand-written thank you card! I wrote in there "thank you so much for taking such good care of me"....
I know what they did was 'part of their job' but it was not a normal every day thing for a rehab doc and I was in a city where I knew no one. so I wanted them to know that I appreciated what they did for me.

back on topic, when 'odd' medical things happen, it's hard to know which doctor will take you seriously and which will just laugh/shrug it off. and which will just blame it on mental-illnesses and which will take the time to look for the real answer/reason, even if that means extra time and effort. that's where I struggle....

and back to your request, if you are interested you can read about it here:
https://psychcentralforums.com/healt...ml#post6678176

Many thanks to you @jrae for that link and your appreciation of my medical colleagues world-wide. I'm in surgery at the mo but had 2 patient cancellations! Neither let me know!

That was most sweet of you showing your appreciation in giving those gifts. My patients do the same, or send Thank you cards.

I'll read that link later having saved it.