[birdcloud]

I have had some difficult times in my life, where I felt that the world wanted me dead. Of course, when I think of these things, I feel sad, scared, angry, but when I think about things that happened for a bit longer, it makes me think about how hard it is for everyone and how much I need and want other people, and makes me want to go around hugging strangers, calling everyone sweetheart, feeding them. Even if I had the social skills and confidence to pull this off without seeming creepy, the social skills, the confidence, the mood would pass, I would mess something up and get scared and back away, and people would be confused as to why I was so sweet for a while, only to switch to being distant. I don't always know what to do with my contradictory need for algorithms and clear boundaries and the feelings like this that spring up in me and the feelings that contradict them mightily.

[Fuzzybear]

I wrote a reply to this but deleted it. Thanks for the interesting post...

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by birdcloud

I have had some difficult times in my life, where I felt that the world wanted me dead. Of course, when I think of these things, I feel sad, scared, angry, but when I think about things that happened for a bit longer, it makes me think about how hard it is for everyone and how much I need and want other people, and makes me want to go around hugging strangers, calling everyone sweetheart, feeding them. Even if I had the social skills and confidence to pull this off without seeming creepy, the social skills, the confidence, the mood would pass, I would mess something up and get scared and back away, and people would be confused as to why I was so sweet for a while, only to switch to being distant. I don't always know what to do with my contradictory need for algorithms and clear boundaries and the feelings like this that spring up in me and the feelings that contradict them mightily.

I completely understand how you feel. You are not alone.

[Gfofaddict]

I think the thing that holds you back sometimes is shown in your statement “I would mess something up” . I always feel bad when I hear those kind of comments becuase what is “messing up”, some other persons opinion? I don’t understand Why their opinion would be better then yours, or who decides what defines messing up etc. I don’t think there’s any way to mess up when you’re Doing nice to others out of genuine love and concern. I just don’t think messing up in that situation can even exist. You don’t mess up even if another person doesn’t need or like some thing you’re doing or giving, it’s never a “mess up!” Genuine concern and trying to bring joy to others is always a winner!

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by Gfofaddict

I think the thing that holds you back sometimes is shown in your statement “I would mess something up” . I always feel bad when I hear those kind of comments becuase what is “messing up”, some other persons opinion? I don’t understand Why their opinion would be better then yours, or who decides what defines messing up etc. I don’t think there’s any way to mess up when you’re Doing nice to others out of genuine love and concern. I just don’t think messing up in that situation can even exist. You don’t mess up even if another person doesn’t need or like some thing you’re doing or giving, it’s never a “mess up!” Genuine concern and trying to bring joy to others is always a winner!

I agree with this. good post.