[AzulOscuro]

The story of my life.
It’s a question for you, to see if you also share with me the same feeling.
How often do you try to reply or write here and before summiting your reply you think: Who the hell is gonna give a damn about my opinion or about what I have to say? And of course, you finally, delete what you wrote.

Don’t get worried. I already take it in with humor since I’m so used to.

[Hi IM Dan]

Sometimes its the responses that keep me coming back.
Often I get nervous of offending someone or emotionally hurting another, this is new to me as therapy hasn't really been helping.

I like some of your posts too by the way..
This post took 30 minutes to feel comfortable enough to hit reply, youre not alone..

[MsLady]

Kind of funny because I'm the opposite. I probably respond to posts more than I should and should just butt out.. and there's no "delete" function here. Drats!

Regardless, it's theraputic for me and in multiple ways.

[AzulOscuro]

Originally Posted by Hi IM Dan

Sometimes its the responses that keep me coming back.
Often I get nervous of offending someone or emotionally hurting another, this is new to me as therapy hasn't really been helping.

I like some of your posts too by the way..
This post took 30 minutes to feel comfortable enough to hit reply, youre not alone..

I have a natural tendency to try to give a hand to people who may share similar problems than me but what if you make a mistake and mislead someone or makes him more confused? or what you mentioned, you say something that hurt his feelings?

Another aspect that makes me give a step back is the idea that other people are gonna do the same as me but much more better.
For example, a week ago, I was gonna send a pm to lady who was struggling with abuse. I felt lots of empathy and I wanted her to know she wasn’t alone. When I was about to send the pm I abandoned the idea because I thought: What the h. I’m doing? Sure, many more people probably have sent her pms and sure they are gonna be more helpful than me.

There are moments I feel kind of confidence and I seem as a different person but they are so few moments.

[AzulOscuro]

Originally Posted by MsLady

Kind of funny because I'm the opposite. I probably respond to posts more than I should and should just butt out.. and there's no "delete" function here. Drats!

Regardless, it's theraputic for me and in multiple ways.

I’m glad for you and this is the attitude.
Agree that it’s sort of therapeutic sometimes, not only the fact that you may get some really helpful insight here, I did get it not a long time ago. But, also the fact that you can also contribute “ in my case, sometimes” lol, to give a little of light to somebody else.

[MsLady]

Originally Posted by AzulOscuro

I’m glad for you and this is the attitude.
Agree that it’s sort of therapeutic sometimes, not only the fact that you may get some really helpful insight here, I did get it not a long time ago. But, also the fact that you can also contribute “ in my case, sometimes” lol, to give a little of light to somebody else.

See? The attitude is spreading 😉 As I tell my daughter, "We are braver than we believe.".. so just click SUBMIT and know it'll reach out to at least one person.

[AzulOscuro]

Originally Posted by MsLady

See? The attitude is spreading 😉 As I tell my daughter, "We are braver than we believe.".. so just click SUBMIT and know it'll reach out to at least one person.

The truth is that when someone takes his time to read my threads and reply, I’m very grateful and give value, even if it’s only to say, I’m sorry you are struggling with this or that, I don’t know what to tell you but I felt empathy for you case.

It’s a matter of my personality. I tend to put myself on a second place, a friend of mine, pointed it out to me and I noticed it even in my voice pitch, my body language, the physical place I occupy even. I barely will be walking in front of or pass before the person who is walking with me. The other way around. It’s funny psychological factors show them up in all details.

[mote.of.soul]

I can absolutely relate to those sentiments, Azul. Absolutely. But may I share something with you, Azul?

I was in alcohol/drug rehab back in 1998, and rehab is basically all about learning and growing and dealing with many issues. And one thing that really struck me was when the group facilitator told us that, 'your voice is valid, your opinions are valid, you as a human being are as valid and as important as the next person'. I think that was probably the most significant thing I'd ever heard up till then, and I still remember those words whenever I feel less-than. Hopefully it might mean something to you as well, friend.

Look in the mirror and say "I am important! I am valid!" Yeah!!

[K0123]

I am here in this boat, too.

But, when people respond it feels so much better than facing silence, alone.

Your words matter so much to so many

Use your voice, please

[AzulOscuro]

Originally Posted by mote.of.soul

I can absolutely relate to those sentiments, Azul. Absolutely. But may I share something with you, Azul?

I was in alcohol/drug rehab back in 1998, and rehab is basically all about learning and growing and dealing with many issues. And one thing that really struck me was when the group facilitator told us that, 'your voice is valid, your opinions are valid, you as a human being are as valid and as important as the next person'. I think that was probably the most significant thing I'd ever heard up till then, and I still remember those words whenever I feel less-than. Hopefully it might mean something to you as well, friend.

Look in the mirror and say "I am important! I am valid!" Yeah!!

Thank you for sharing
Sometimes a message said with the right words, in the right moment causes a great effect.

[Discombobulated]

I just wanted to say I absolutely appreciate your posts Azul and I'm glad you are here. It sounds like you think very carefully before posting, you think about the affect your words will have upon the reader - that is good in my opinion.

[AzulOscuro]

Originally Posted by Discombobulated

I just wanted to say I absolutely appreciate your posts Azul and I'm glad you are here. It sounds like you think very carefully before posting, you think about the affect your words will have upon the reader - that is good in my opinion.

I’m full of complexes such as, I don’t know but I always thought about me that I was not intelligent. I think it’s all about my perfectionism. I ask myself too much. I’m never satisfied. And this is so much pressure.

I enjoy reading your posts.

[AzulOscuro]

I feel embarrassed because I know my thread could awake sympathy and it may seem that I’m looking for people’s reassurance, kind of approval.
It’s not. Or at least, I’m not doing consciously.
Of course, I appreciate when a user tells me that my posts are valid or they like them but my intention here was sort of complain about how hard I find most of the times, to do something other people find so natural.
When I was active as a teacher, in the teachers meetings I saw myself as an alien if I had to take the word, which I seldom dared to. It didn’t matter how valid it was my idea.The fear, the anxiety I felt was enough to project what I didn’t want to project. I ended up saying the arguments bad, incomplete or with a lack of conviction tone, because I was more worried about my performance.
I hate it. I know it’s not the right walk. I know I should laugh at myself and be an alley of my social anxiety if I want to progress.

[Fuzzybear]

I don't delete my posts as much as I used to....

[divine1966]

Something you are hesitant to post might change someone’s life. If I can help even one person, I am willing to share my thoughts. People are free not to read or read etc

[AzulOscuro]

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

I don't delete my posts as much as I used to....

I noticed it and I’m glad.

[AzulOscuro]

Originally Posted by divine1966

Something you are hesitant to post might change someone’s life. If I can help even one person, I am willing to share my thoughts. People are free not to read or read etc

It has to do a lot of with my mood and level of confidence at that moment. And at the same time, my level of confidence will depend on previous self-assessments. I mean, how I consider my own perform ( I know it sounds conceited and horrible) and how I think people have perceived me.

I know it. I know I’m a very lost person. But, most of the time, my self-image depends mainly on the image I get back from the outside.
I don’t like this situation at all. I do it unconsciously.

[AzulOscuro]

I would be sometimes even able to ask forgiveness for breathing. This is what annoy more about myself.