[Gaba94]

Hi!

After I started to work on my issues (around s7/8 years, now), I have had just 2 relationships, they are finished now, (today the second one). But, I can't help to overthink how they didn't work because of me. Deeply, I know they were not good for me, they both were totally elusive (I didn't make to know their beloved friends or family, even when the relationships last more than 2 years, both).


Specially this last one, I stayed there like a year, feeling not love, or .... I don't know... accepting blocking for social media from nowhere... waiting for him to appear, worried because haven't had a word in weeks....


Right now, I'm in the break-up current of thoughts, but... I'm ok!


I just don't want to keep falling in that kind of love, a love that hurt me....


PS: my first relationship followed a domestic violence pattern. I couldn't really ended till physical abuse started to be present.

[winter4me]

Welcome to PC! It sounds like you feel lonely most of all and could use a good friend or two. Are there activities/hobbies that you enjoy? Maybe you could get involved in some activity with others and not look for a "relationship" at this time.

[Gaba94]

Hi! Thanks for your answer... And I don't know, if my inner me is feeling like that. I'm usually very active (not these days, of course), very social, I make friends easily, and love to hang out with my besties regularly. When I am economically stable, I travel with them. I'm very close to my mother, she is living with me, and we make ahnm chill weakends, always give her hug (I know how magical they are), and have talks during food times. If not, I enjoy my time alone (videogames, painting, writing, reading or even karaoke or music/dance times). I'm very extroverted and socially active.

And, well, I know, people can be like that and not being healthy inside, but...
How can I realize that? How can I know if I am feeling alone?

[downandlonely]

I'm sorry your relationships didn't work out, but it does seem like you are noticing a pattern. That is the first step to solving it. Have you ever tried therapy?

[Gaba94]

I do... Well... I did... All my collage years I followed processes with the psychologist from de social services on campus. I don't thing I ever talk about those relationahips in detail.... Now, I'm in the thesis process, but my scholarship doesn't cover that, right now.

[Fuzzybear]

Hi, I think I'm understanding that you've had two relationships that didn't work out. It does seem that you are noticing a pattern.

I'm sorry you've experienced domestic violence.

Maybe either look for a skilled therapist who specialises in relationships, or post more here, maybe things might become clearer to you. I'm a bit confused by what you said about your last relationship (maybe its me...)