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  #1  
Old Oct 06, 2020, 11:07 AM
RoxanneToto RoxanneToto is offline
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Ok, these two incidents go back years and aren’t “serious” but still play on my mind and are still annoying to think about (lack of justice in one, the second a bit of a mind screw perhaps).
1. October 2011, went into the bank to check my account. Got told to join back of line by a woman who had been standing so far from the line, talking to someone else, that she couldn’t be mistaken for someone waiting to use a machine (only noticed her in the first place because she had a bright red coat on). I did try and point out she hadn’t been in the queue so I wasn’t pushing in, but she didn’t really accept it. When I got to the front, someone from another line (who must have heard her and randomly decided to also mess with me, or was her friend) literally leapt in front of me to use the ATM (when they could have used the one they’d been waiting for...). Frustrated, I just went outside instead.
2. Can’t remember date but it was a few years afterwards. Went with family to a charity event and got left alone on our table while they went to look round (it was basically voting for the best looking cake. Yes, really!). Anyway, the old lady sitting there started asking disdainfully whose things were on the chairs and I thought she was going to try throwing my mum’s bag somewhere. I tried asking her to have some patience and at least wait until my family got back, but got ignored. I was getting really anxious and felt utterly humiliated by this woman’s complaining about our stuff being there and not being listened to - all the tables were crowded, which wasn’t the fault of anyone paying to come in. This lady also had someone with her who I assumed was her carer, who said nothing while she was ranting. She went quiet when my sister in law came back, but why did she think it was ok to do that to me?
Nobody I’ve told these things to seemed to really get why I found them upsetting - both cases were a basic lack of respect towards me when I hadn’t actually done anything to deserve “pushback”, so to speak. Lining up in a bank and trying to share a table meant for around 6 people are reasonable things to do, right? I do feel it’s silly to still feel irritated by them, but at the same time there must be a reason they keep popping into my head?
I guess I really just want to hear that I’m justified in feeling annoyed, angry etc for how these people behaved towards me.
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Anonymous49105, Bill3, Discombobulated, Fuzzybear, Yaowen

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  #2  
Old Oct 06, 2020, 12:46 PM
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Yaowen Yaowen is offline
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Dear RoxanneToto,

I would feel the same if those things happened to me. Your feelings seem quite justified to me.

Sincerely yours, Yao Wen
Thanks for this!
Bill3, Fuzzybear, RoxanneToto
  #3  
Old Oct 06, 2020, 01:12 PM
RoxanneToto RoxanneToto is offline
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Thank you very much, Yaowen!
  #4  
Old Oct 06, 2020, 05:29 PM
Anonymous49105
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It sounds like you did not feel heard in either of these situations. And also by the ppl you've told about these situations. I wonder if it made you feel powerless and frustrated. That's a really painful feeling. Maybe you need some kind of closure, however "small" or "silly" you or other people may feel about your feelings about the situation. If you are a nice person, and someone is disrespectful back, that hurts. Anyway, you're not crazy.
Thanks for this!
Bill3, Discombobulated, Fuzzybear, RoxanneToto
  #5  
Old Oct 06, 2020, 09:28 PM
Bill3 Bill3 is offline
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I agree with Yao Wen.
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  #6  
Old Oct 07, 2020, 08:46 AM
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Fuzzybear Fuzzybear is offline
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I agree that if you're a nice person and someone is disrespectful back, it hurts.

You are NOT crazy!
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Bill3, Discombobulated
Thanks for this!
Bill3, RoxanneToto
  #7  
Old Oct 07, 2020, 11:52 AM
RoxanneToto RoxanneToto is offline
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Thank you, everyone! I was so flabbergasted by what happened at the time, and it seemed like everyone else thought it wasn’t a big deal or even normal somehow, I kind of wondered if I was the crazy one for a while! But I know those two women were just acting strange because they felt like they could. All I needed was a little validation that it was them, not me, so thanks 😊
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  #8  
Old Oct 07, 2020, 01:59 PM
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Have Hope Have Hope is offline
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Your feelings are totally valid, though I'm wondering why this has stuck with you? Life is full of injustices, rudeness and the like from all sorts of people all the time. It's annoying, yes, and it can be very bothersome. So what makes these instances stand out to you so much that they have bothered you years later?
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Thanks for this!
Bill3
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