[LiteraryLark]

Since my parents have retired, there's absolutely no convenient time to talk to them. They're in the middle of something. They just started something. They're finishing something. They just finished something. They're in a hurry. They don't want to be in a hurry. They're too depressed to talk. They want to be alone. They're too busy talking to someone else. EVERY ******* MOMENT is the absolute worst possible moment to talk to them. They make me so miserable and they act like I'm ruining their lives, yet they play the whole, "Well, you'll never make it on your own" or "You need a rich man who could care for you" or "Why, in the old days generations would all live together" or "You're too mentally ill to care for yourself". I just want to scream!!!!

[unaluna]

Have you tried filming your interactions with them? Yes, i've been watching Dr Phil again! Maybe it will help you or them notice things by watching them on a screen.

My second h once pointed out to me that i would wait until he left the room to ask him something. My "excuse" was that i didnt want to interrupt him while he was in the room with me, but if he was up and walking, that meant he was in interruptible mode, right? I think i apply computers too hard to my personal life.

He was like no, youre being a witch.

[Thunder Bow]

They are avoiding you and your feelings, yet they don't want you to leave paradox.

[MickeyCheeky]

i am So Sorry things are being so hard between You And Your Parents. Have You tried to talk to them about ALL of this And explain how this makes You feel frustrated? Perhaps they simply do not realize how much this means to You. Do You Live Alone or with Them? Give it a try Perhaps. Hopefully They'll listen if You make Them UnderstAnd. SEnding Many Safe, Warm Hugs to BOTH You, @LiteraryLark, Your Family, Your FriEnds And ALL Of Your Loved Ones! Keep fighting And keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!

[mote.of.soul]

I don't blame you for feeling enraged and angry, very frustrated about your parents (people, in my view, who should put their childrens needs and put their childrens trust in them, very high on the priority list) always making excuses to remain focused on not being available to talk. To talk! One of the simplist things in the world to do with someone who cares about you.

Maybe they're from the old school of life, where being emotionally closed off is the norm. I wish I knew.

Wishing you a pleasant day LL. I think it's probably just a matter of time before one or both of your folks makes some time to talk. It'll be okay.

[sarahsweets]

Lark- do you have to interact with them? What I mean is if they suddenly had all the time in the world for you what would you tell them and what would you expect from them?

[Marie123]

I would stop reaching out to them; it just makes you miserable.....or say.....call me when you have time....you know that old saying about doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

[LiteraryLark]

Originally Posted by sarahsweets

Lark- do you have to interact with them? What I mean is if they suddenly had all the time in the world for you what would you tell them and what would you expect from them?

I live with them, and since they're retired and all they do is sit in the dark and read and complain, they truly have all the time in the world.

[divine1966]

When you can afford it, just move out. You don’t need a permission to move out.

They don’t seem to want to talk. Maybe it’s time to keep communication to a minimum. Is there a specific topic you want to discuss? If it’s about moving out, there’s really nothing to discuss. When you are ready to move, just tell them you are moving.

I feel for you wanting that connection but they seem to keep distance for whatever reason. Not much you can do about it Parents often are a mess

[Que Sera Sera]

im not saying this to condone their actions or offer it up as an excuse for their behavior ...but .... your parents are going thru a period of adjustment that isnt always easy for people to cope with.
retirement is not as simple as yippy i dont have to get up and go in to work anymore.
there are a lot of emotions over feelings of uselessness, lonelyness missing friends at work, financial concerns..
they have worked for so long now they are out of their "comfort zone" with so much free time on their hands and no clue what to do with it. hundreds of ideas and plans and visions of things to do, places to go, projects to tend to... with their minds in a whirl with no idea where to start, what to do 1st .. kids in a candy store for the 1st time ever.
plus its fine to just do nothing after so long having to DO things. watch tv, sleep late, read a magazine ... all things that use to be luxeries they now get to indulge in all day long if they want to.
plus .. they have not spent this much time alone, together in decades... 24/7 is a lot more time of togetherness for 2 people who have gotten into their own patterns of daily "seperate yet together" life styles.
they are each "imposing" on each others free time... getting in each others ways, plus now they need to include each other in making daily plans together.... weekends are one thing, they have not had to plan a whole weeks worth what to do with the day maybe never have they had any alone time in their entire marriage.
they are excited, afraid, scared, angry, confused, lost, trying to gather a grip on this new chapter in their lives...
its not easy on you to be stuck in the middle of the turmoil theyve going on in their world.
just try to remember not to take their behavior too personally cuz it probably has nothing to do with YOU at all .. they are lashing out at you cuz you are there for them to have someone to lash out at.
you are involved in the mix of what they are sorting thru because it also involves you too. they worked probably since you were very young.
they no longer go to work and arent quite sure who grown up woman is they been living with but no nothing about.
give them a ton of slack, some space and time and this too shall pass..
hang in there. it will get better i promise