[thekingof8]

A lot of things have changed over my life, both good and bad. I just have a hard time dealing with and accepting it. It just seems like overnight, everything is different. For one thing, my oldest niece is now 13 years old! I still remember her being small and chasing her around. And then there are the people I have lost and lost touch with. Sometimes I look at old pictures from my restaurant days and see all the faces and fun times and I start feeling sad. Everybody seems to have moved on. I guess I just miss the days of being young. I also think about going to my Nana's as a kid and having her and my two Great Aunts around. I also miss my cat that I had to put down about 3 years ago. He was over-weight for the latter part of his life and actually became diabetic and it was too late to save him. I felt like I failed him. I am having trouble moving past everything. Change is something I have trouble dealing with and I don't know how to accept it or cope with it. I just wish I could go back to the way things were.

I have been feeling lonely and isolated too, with this GD pandemic playing a part. I only leave my place for work and groceries. I know there are various hotlines I can call or text, but it isn't the same.

I know I'm not the only one struggling with all of this, but it doesn't make it any easier.

[Yaowen]

Dear thekingof8,

You have been through so many heartbreaking situations. I can't even imagine what you have endured and are still enduring. Wish I knew what to say to be helpful. Loneliness and isolation can both be so brutal. Although I am not in your shoes, I have a lot of experience with both of those. I think you are very courageous and even heroic. Hopefully things will get better for you. It is awful that you are in the situation you describe!

Sincerely yours, Yao Wen

[Discombobulated]

It is so sweet you remember your niece being little and those fun times. I often think back to when my niece was little and the funny things she would say - my son too, they are both grown now. Sometimes I like to look back at old photos, do you do this? I have special ones framed and on display so I can look at them any time I like.

I think memories like this, your nana, your great aunts, your cat, can help shape who we are - in that way although things change and we lose people they never really leave us.

It's natural to worry you could have done more for your cat because we feel responsibility towards our pets but it's quite likely his time had come and he had a happy life with you.

It is difficult now I agree, it's hard to put things in perspective with lockdown and restrictions, it's left us with more quiet introspective time, maybe too much. Are there people you can reach out to and chat with now?

[MickeyCheeky]

So Sorry for your Losses! i agree with the other wise and wonderful posters about feeling So Sorry for what you're going through. Like you have all said, you may be not alone in this although that perhaps doesn't make it easier. Are you currently seeing a therapist? Perhaps that may help a bit. Sorry if hearing that bothers you. i do not want to hurt people. Please do not give up. Hugs. Please do keep us updated if you can and want to. i am also available through pm and Hopefully others as well if you just ask. Do try your Best. Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @thekingof8, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!

[thekingof8]

I was going to try to contact my therapist, but it's over the phone only, and I would feel better doing it face to face.

Yesterday, I decided to hibernate or disable Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and LinkedIn for the next week since I'm tired of seeing nothing but Covid, as well as the idiotic conspiracy theories and misinformation floating around (I'm keeping my Youtube open since I like to binge watch certain shows). I'm not sure if that will make me feel better or worse. I'm just tired of seeing all of the negativity, and finger-pointing (some of it warranted mind you).