[LawMom88]

Words I’d never thought I would say...my husband left me for another woman. I am 33, we’ve been married for 8 years and together for almost 10. This past Saturday, my husband walked out. Sunday he told me he wanted a divorce. By Monday, he was openly going on dates with his girlfriend (also married with 3 kids and now on her 4th divorce), and I found out because someone saw them out that I know.

Fast forward to Friday, 6 days later, and they are both leaving their spouses and dating. Openly dating. She joined him at his softball game with her 14 year old daughter to meet the friends we were just with 5 days earlier as husband and wife..

Oh...and they met at work and he was immediately fired from a great job because of it. He won’t speak to his parents at all because he doesn’t want to be lectured.

He claims he didn’t leave because of her, but because we had a bad year...like a pathetic person, I begged him to stay. He’s dead set on leaving me, but has still tried to sleep with me. I have been taking care of our 3.5 and 5 year old boys and trying to swallow the immense pain to somehow co-parent.

This isn’t the man I knew...everyone is floored. He would never have done something like this. Ever. It’s like he woke up a different person one day. His girlfriend, who also shares the same name as I do, is a drug user and sells drugs, so I worry he may have become involved.

I can’t eat, I can’t sleep. I keep having intrusive thoughts of them together. It’s breaking my heart. I still love him...but he expects me to accept her and it’s been SIX DAYS. Also, I told him she can’t be around the kids due to drug use or come to our marital home while he’s here...he said I was being unreasonable. I feel like he’s lost his mind. I want to help him. I want him to come home.

I feel like I’m drowning in a bad movie.

[Skeezyks]

Hello LawMom: Thank you for bringing your concern here to MSF. Welcome to the forums. From the sound of it, sadly, the Divorce & Separation forum here on MSF may also be of interest to you. Here's a link just in case you haven't already found it:

https://mysupportforums.org/divorce-and-separation/

I hope you find being here on the forums to be of benefit.

[MickeyCheeky]

So Sorry that you're struggling! Please do not give up! i agree with the wise and wonderful Skeezyks about checking out the divorce and separation forums if you are interested. Are you currently seeing a therapist? i feel like that may Help a bit perhaps. i think getting through a divorce can be hard but Hopefully you can handle this. i am not sure if there is much you can do to convince him to come back to you. Have you already talked about this i suppose? If you haven't that may be worth trying Sending many safe, warm hugsa to BOTH you, @LawMom88, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!

Take away your children from him. Then wait. If she's a druggie burnout then it should be over within a month. Don't take him back then, just watch him live miserable, lonely life. He treated you worse than some treat their candy wrappers. No reason in the world to forgive him.

[divine1966]

So sorry. Get a lawyer. And start a process. Do you know she is actually using and selling drugs or you think she does?

[TishaBuv]

I’m sorry this happened to you. I don’t think you were pathetic to beg, probably anyone as shocked as you were would do the same.

Hiring a lawyer and protecting your kids from an unhealthy environment with drug use will be something for you to approach in moving forward from this situation.

Try to keep yourself together as best you can right now. Today is Mother’s Day. Do something nice for yourself with your kids.

And welcome to the forum!

[Kidfle]

So sorry this is happening to you. I've been there. After 14 years of marriage my husband came home said he had some papers for me to sign. Assumed it had to do with business. Said ok. Set them aside and finished fixing family dinner. They were divorce papers.
Nothing, no words can help. Just so sorry somebody else if going threw this. My only advice is get an attorney now. Somebody who can look after your and kids interests. I didn't have to talk to my husband or see him. Wanted anything he talked to my attorney. Same way if I needed anything. My husband went on to 3 more divorces. Sadly, when he wasn't feeling well on his first leg of a vacation, his 4 th continued on without him. He died alone in a hotel room. All I could feel was I would have been with him.
Cry, scream, hug those kids whatever helps you. You did nothing to deserve such pain.