[RoxanneToto]

This has been a sort of common theme in my life, but it kind of concerns me because I don’t understand what it is or if there’s a reason behind it. Generally speaking, I can be excited about something, and have nearly obsessive thoughts about it, then suddenly hardly feel anything about it.
Anyone else experience something similar?
Basically, I don’t understand how something can feel like it really matters, then suddenly doesn’t, even when it does matter on a more objective level, as well as subjective.
I have felt like this about some relationships too, which has been a big problem and is actually the main reason I’m asking now. I just hate it. The relationships in question are more hypothetical at this stage but I’d like to know if this “thing” is potentially fixable or manageable.

[MickeyCheeky]

So Sorry you have to deal with this also! Please Do not give up! Hugs. i am not sure if it is quite the same thing but i believe i can relate at least a bit. i too also have periods where i am obsessed with something only to discard it soon afterwards. i am not sure if i'd call it a problem in my case but i think i do understand how it can get annoying. i don't have much or any experience with Relationships so i don't know about that but from what you wrote i think i can imagine how it can become a problem. M. Are you currently seeing a therapist? i feel like this may be something useful to bring up if it is bothering you. Perhaps you may be able to understand why things are like this for you and maybe even learn to manage it. i believe it is good that you're at least aware of it. Hopefully you will be able to work on it also. So Sorry if my advice isn't really useful but i am not sure if i have a lot more to add. i Hope you will get the Help you Need either here or IRL. Sending many Safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @RoxanneToto, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!

[RoxanneToto]

Thank you, Mickey! I’m seeing a counsellor, just hoping she can help me. I sent an email today and she’ll likely reply tomorrow. If I can’t figure out how to move past it, I might have to give up on something that feels important to me. It would be the right thing to do, out of respect/concern for not wanting to hurt the other people, but it would be painful for me.

[unaluna]

This would happen to me if it fulfilled a fantasy or wish of some kind - the perfect job, the best friend. Too good to be true, but then there is that hope. And then the letdown.

This reminds me of how amazed i am when i read wedding announcements where the couple were just casual and blasé for like YEARS before they fell in love. That seems an impossible ideal to me.

This makes me think of the renaissance soul, which is also a book by the same title I think. Whether that's what you're experiencing or not, I don't know.

I agree with Mickey that its good that you are aware of it. And maybe you can learn to manage it, cope with it, and even accept it as part of you.

[RoxanneToto]

Unaluna - I think this is the problem, actually. I’m not great at maintaining relationships and for ages have just let it slide. I feel I was a bit better when I was much younger, but eventually I gave up really bothering. I love my mum’s best friend, but now when we’re together I feel I’m so distracted by other things I’m doing (not even really that interesting) I kinda forget she’s there I feel like being social with people I’ve known most of my life shouldn’t be like that.
Woven Galaxy - thank you, you’re always really kind. I might have to look into that book.
I’ll come clean, though - I’m hoping I can possibly meet my biological sisters and the feelings/lack of I’m having around that prospect are freaking me out (and the whole knowing relationships are hard for me thing). I met my brother when I was a teenager, tried hard to make that relationship work over the next few weeks, but in the end he pushed me away (he came to find me, I never knew he existed).
I’m not sure if I’m starting to feel less excited about the prospect of meeting them because I know more about them than I did before, but I’m hoping it’s not that.