[cinnamonsun]

I don't know, it's different. I didn't get a warm welcome. A lot of people are acting like they don't know nor want to know me. People I thought were friends give me the cold shoulder. People don't want to share my writing or engage with it.

I'm happy to be doing creative things, but I feel kind of like an outsider now. Despite that, I was in this community, active and prominent for almost 3 years. It's like people don't really want to let me in or have anything to do with me. I was really hoping to make friends, but it's not going that easy.

Maybe I don't really belong there. I want to be in an inclusive friendly community, not a place that treats me like I'm not relevant or even wanted around. I wish I could find a better creative community where people are nicer but despite my efforts, I just can't find anything. I've tried several other sites to no avail. I mean, maybe it's me? I'm very friendly and respectful and supportive. So I don't understand why people don't like me. I'm starting to wonder if I'm just better off keeping to myself and being alone. At least when I'm alone and not part of anything, I don't feel excluded, looked down on, judged, or made to feel like my presence doesn't matter. I'm thinking of going back into isolation and just having my own world. I don't seem to fit in anywhere.

And if I'm this unlikable, maybe I shouldn't be around people.

[cinnamonsun]

I found someone else who left and returned and they are being treated the same way. I'm thinking it's not me personally, it's just the culture of this particular community. Which, I don't really get. Of course, I have had a lot of toxic relationships and friendships, people have done smear campaigns on me and ruined my reputation. So it might be I just have a destroyed reputation as well. It's really tough when people spread lies and misinformation about you to paint you out like you're the villain when it was actually the other way around. No one ever asks for my side of things.

All I know, is that I know the truth of things that happened between me and others on there. I guess all I can cling to is my personal truth. I don't want to go out of my way having to prove myself or try to make people see me in a different light. I don't have the energy or motivation. I understand we can't control how other people perceive us or whether or not we are accepted. And I can't stop the people on there who warn people about me and make me out to be this horrible bad abusive person when I'm not. It's just one of those unfair things about life.

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by cinnamonsun

I don't know, it's different. I didn't get a warm welcome. A lot of people are acting like they don't know nor want to know me. People I thought were friends give me the cold shoulder. People don't want to share my writing or engage with it.

I'm happy to be doing creative things, but I feel kind of like an outsider now. Despite that, I was in this community, active and prominent for almost 3 years. It's like people don't really want to let me in or have anything to do with me. I was really hoping to make friends, but it's not going that easy.

Maybe I don't really belong there. I want to be in an inclusive friendly community, not a place that treats me like I'm not relevant or even wanted around. I wish I could find a better creative community where people are nicer but despite my efforts, I just can't find anything. I've tried several other sites to no avail. I mean, maybe it's me? I'm very friendly and respectful and supportive. So I don't understand why people don't like me. I'm starting to wonder if I'm just better off keeping to myself and being alone. At least when I'm alone and not part of anything, I don't feel excluded, looked down on, judged, or made to feel like my presence doesn't matter. I'm thinking of going back into isolation and just having my own world. I don't seem to fit in anywhere.

And if I'm this unlikable, maybe I shouldn't be around people. :(

I’m sorry that you are feeling lonely. I understand how you feel because I been there myself. It sounds more like it is about the other person than it is about you. Keep trying we are out there just hard to find.

[cinnamonsun]

Originally Posted by Buffy01

I’m sorry that you are feeling lonely. I understand how you feel because I been there myself. It sounds more like it is about the other person than it is about you. Keep trying we are out there just hard to find.

I made the choice to leave again. Because when I asked myself what kind of people or environment do I want to surround myself with? The answer did not describe this community. I've found an online group, besides this forum, that is SO loving, accepting, and high vibe. I've been there for a month and haven't experienced harassment, bullying, drama, passive aggression or...anything negative. People are happy to interact and talk to me, even if they have different views, they are respectful. I've been learning and enjoying conversations, and discovering more about some gifts/talents I have. And I was like wow. THIS or...that. I choose this. I am much happier!