Apparently I lack empathy

So, it seems I don't have empathy anymore but after Ben complaining like every day for like the past 3 years I just get irritated when people complain about there problems I never used to be like this. I used to be able to empathize very well but now I just get pissed off if a guy complains to me and I just lose patience and just want to push them away and not talk to them why is this happening? That person truly wore me down I tried to help them all they did was complain and then I just stopped talking to them a year ago. Now I just lose patience with people.

No you have empathy black roses i can tell. it comes through in your writing 🙏Friend, you have to make up your own mind in this world about everything hear and listen to what other people are saying, yes, but stick to your truth. That's the important thing. You're doing well young lady. You're intelligent. 🙏

I think it sounds more like relationship burnout than lack of empathy. When you reach burnout with a person, it is hard to react in a way you would normally with others.

I'm burned out with one family member and get irritated with her often. Lately, I've been trying to view the relationship as a 'team effort' where it has to be repaired by both sides and the empathy needs to go both ways to make it better. I don't know if that will help it.

Sounds like you just have compassion fatigue. When someone is constantly wearing you down like that, it can cause just what you're experiencing.

Who is Ben

It sounds healthy to me. You were worn out and now your inner guide or whatever you wanna call it is protecting you. This is a good thing. It will pass once you learn to draw that boundary before you burn out.

I only mention Ben for reference sake because I'm talking to a new friend Tiago and he's likes to vent to me about himself and because of this experience I'm like **** happens. Or I'm not as sympathetic in messages as I used to be because I'm scared that if I validate him or give him too much sympathy he'll put all his problems on me. I'm just wondering now how I'm ment to put on a boundary because before I even met Ben I didn't even know what an emotional boundary that friendship taught me a lot about emotional boundaries. Coz my emotional boundaries were overstepped many times when he'd tell his mum things I told him not to share with her it used to annoy me that he never understood why I'd find it a problem. Still to this day I just can't put up with people complaining and just feel like pushing them away when they get emotional with me. I think it's me now realizing that before I didn't know where my emotional boundary was but now I know where it is and complaining especially if it's a consistent thing, I think I'm gonna speak up and say I'm not gonna respond to you if you complain which in my eyes I'd think it was cruel but now I realise you have to take care of your mental health. I just get so upset with me because I let that friendship drain me that now like a year on from not talking to Ben I still feel drained thinking about it.

I still can't even define what I experienced with Ben am I right to be upset after all this time? I know just not talking to him is wrong and I still feel guilt I just don't know if I ever made the right decision. What's right for me but I wish I could just define and someone can explain to me what happened with him because I can't understand how I still could be upset.

It sounds like Ben overstepped boundaries again and again. Now perhaps you are making certain that what happened with Ben won't happen again.