I could use your emotional support right now

So, in another thread I posted about my new job and how I was getting “clues” (subtext etc) that I was going to be fired. Today after work hours, the two attorneys met with me and we had “the talk.” No PIP. Not fired. Just a long talk about my month at this new job with them.

Although I still have my job, I’m DEFINITELY going to apply actively for other jobs now and hope that I can find another job while still employed at this law firm. My belief is that because we had “the talk” a month in, that does not bode well for me working there long term. I could be wrong.

The other thing that hit me like a ton of bricks today. I got my direct deposit paycheck. Great, I thought.

My utility company had other plans. On Monday, they received a $312 grant from the energy assistance program I was accepted due to my low income. That grant money was supposed to be applied to my $812 balance (if you harp on me for not paying my monthly utility bill, walk in my unemployed shoes and then try to balance your budget with just 2 new paychecks while you rideshare drive). So, that would have left me with around $500 to break into a payment plan over 6 months or so. The uility company automatically took my money at 7:15 p.m. 15 minutes after their customer service center closed. I had no idea that they planned to do this to me.

I read on their website that their refund policy can take 2-4 weeks. So, tomorrow I am going to go in person in the morning, to the office of the energy assistance program to ask them to call the utility company to dispute the fact that 1) the utility company didn’t apply my $312 grant money to my balance to lower it and 2) they were not supposed to just “take” $600.00 and owe me that $600.00 back as a total refund.

Located in the same building, fortunately, is the local legal aid office. After I go to the energy assistance program, I will go do an intake with a pro bono attorney at the legal aid office with my situation to ensure that the utility company refunds me my $600.00 in total. And then, works with me to do a smaller payment plan (again, don’t squabble with me about details please).

I already received permission from the two attorneys to work 10-6;30 p.m. at the law firm tomorrow which is fine.

I am a huge ball of stress. No. I have no savings. No, my credit is too low to qualify for payday loans. No my credit union can’t lend me money b/c I am still paying off the line of credit from last year (they tack on interest). No, I have no family or friends who can lend me money. No, I can’t apply for the grant here at PC b/c I already was given that grant earlier this year. No, my sister or brother are not a source of financial assistance for me. (Do not interpret this paragraph as me being negative. I’m simply stating facts in case people wonder before you ask.)

To recap: I can’t get the $600 from another source. I simply have to wait a month to see if I can get legal aid or the county energy assistance program to assist me with getting my full refund of the $600.00

Meanwhile, I owe money for:

-car payment that I’m a month behind on (25 days - repossession happens at 60 days)

-half of my December rent payment (the same amount of the $600 utility bill payment) that was due next Friday.

-my car insurance which is $300

-my cell phone bill

-my internet and cable tv bill

-food for me; food for my kittens

Yes. I can get food at food shelves if I qualify. Since I am employed, I would have to meet the food shelf’s income guidelines. Each food shelf requires that you fill out a form with your income before you can make an appointment to get access to food. My zip code is rotten in that I don’t qualify for the food shelves near me due to my income. I can still call a few places and call 211 for information.

I can’t get a car loan grant (that program in my county and zip code is closed). I checked. Each car loan grant is based on zip code and county.

There are nonprofit animal food shelves where I can go to get kitty litter and food and while those are also county and zip code specific, I can also call ahead to explain my situation and see if they would be flexible with me for not living in the right zip code.

-I can try to find grant money for my car insurance, cell phone bill, and cable/internet. Again, its all income based. Rock and a hard place? I live there, it seems.

My priority is paying my Dec 1/2 rent and my January1/2 rent (I use a rent app that pays my full rent to my landlord between the 1st-5th of the month) and my car insurance (otherwise i can’t drive to my job or rideshare drive).

If I am unable to get the $600 back then I’m really stuck. I thought about calling Lutheran Social Services to speak to a volunteer accountant/debt counselor but I will be $600 short so I don’t know how they can help me budget.

Basically, I have to see if I can physically have the stamina (and realistically, the daily gas tank money available to fill my tank) to rideshare drive for 2-4 hours at night after my daytime work hours.

Every time I rideshare drive, I use gas to drive fares around the city. I have to lose money to make money as a rideshare driver. I have to empty my tank of gas and recoup that money with the first hour of rideshare driving to pay for the second tank of gas that will only cover the 2nd and 3rd hour of rideshare driving. So, each rideshare session i lose money to refill my gas tank, in order to earn money after the 1st hour (exempt of profit b/c that moeny refills my gas tank).

I’m so upset with myself that this happened to me. I didn’t have the money each month to pay towards my utility bill b/c that money went to rent, food, (no SNAP anymore), gas for my car, cellphone, car insurance, food and litter for my 2 kittens and my cellphone, cable and internet and my student loan payment.

I had no idea that the utility company would do this to me and not apply the county funded grant money that they received and I was notified that they received via a letter that I received in the mail this week from the program telling me this information.

I can only hope that this all works out. Thanks for reading.