I hate to be nostalgic, cause normal lives go slowly further

[Please sorry for any mistake, i am not american neither british]

Eleven years ago i was 24 y.o. working in engineering company... as a general service admin person
Had already messed up with university and people did make me feel a living mistake for that. I was born poor, so I did trash an opportunity and making my grandma sad

Yet, i did find the job by myself and kept i

But apathy... i couldnt hand it very well.

I was a toxic girlfriend. Me and my boyfriend weren't in love with each others, but i didn't break, neither did him (even if both of us cheated once)

I am serious here: i sometimes look back and think that maybe a chamomile tea and a resolutions list could have helped me more than going into psychotherapy.
I am not the type of person to blame professionals, but i do more practical things when i make my own schedule

But at 24 i did feel too old already, cause back in the days failing with university was such a taboo

I don't remember from here, how i managed to survive without being killed, cause everyone seemed to hate me

I wish I was more mature and go back to the living path insted of trashing my life

This is a very common story, isn't it?