Police called about report I made

So, I called the police about a week or two ago to report jack in the alleyway near my house. It ended up with me telling me everything that's happened even the sexual harassment etc and now I'm not even sure if I want to go with the report etc because Im scared it's just gonna be more trauma with the police I've reported to the police in the past about my cousin abusing me and they said it wouldn't stand in court. So I'm just worried I'll be made to feel bad again for the stuff that has happened. Well anyway I got a phone call from them asking if I wanted to go forward with the report and I realised something he won't leave me alone unless I report him and I have no idea why I'm so hesitant and want to protect him. Maybe I've developed Stockholm syndrome I have no idea but anyway I was abused again by this guy at a club very recently and he's gotten banned thank god the first time I've seen any guy that's hurt me be held accountable for hurting me well anyway. I just wish that when I finally completed my statement that the police won't fail me like last time and make me feel like it was my fault. Anyway, all this has made me realise how strong and resilient I've been come now says I feel like when someone hurts me I'm able to brush it off and move on. It's been so satisfying to see people get karma I never thought they would. Even my uncle is having a hard time with work being bullied it's not satisfying in the sense of revenge but satisfying that he will learn what it means to hurt someone. So no its not that I'm happy I just think that the people that have hurt me have gotten away for so long and it's just satisfying to see them pay for there mistakes. Everyone it seems except for my cousin which I still hate intensely and wanted to see him burn to see him hurt like I did when he hurt me. Like he came to my mum's house and what he does is hurts her daughter like how dare he. However yeah I'm related to some bad people there's a lot of mess in Madeira too with extended family because of houses and money. Even had one of my cousin's beat up his brother over a house that his mum left when she died so I can tell you I'm related to a mess of a family. No wonder I don't trust people I'm related to messed up people and just feel awful for being related to them. All I know is that I can't teach people lessons or be better but I just want to know why I had to be hurt by so many men and when the day will come that I will have a nice one surely I deserve that after all that I've been through. People can judge whatever I don't care I'm stronger now. I'm just not that weak teenage girl anymore.