[BrokenNBeautiful]

I wasn't diagnosed with this, but in my life, it seems like everyone wants to be my mother.

I think it' s because I act like a baby---always insecure and needy.

I do this without trying.

I want to stop!

How?

B.

[Miracle1986]

You post reminds me so much of myself. I am always very needy, etc too
Even my husband, I fear, feels more like my care-taker than my companion.

[BrokenNBeautiful]

yes, Dane acts very motherly toward me.

Sometimes I like it, sometimes I wish he'd stop.

B.

[billieJ]

I think a lot, if not all, of us, attract certain types, whether they are good or bad for us. You seem to be saying that they type you attract is not good for you, in the way you like to be treated. Well, I'm not sure why this is, since I don't know you, but if you have correctly answered your own question, then it would seem that you need to work on strengthening your independence and reducing your insecurities. You can do this, by challenging yourself with exercise, a fairly demanding job, taking charge of your life until you are in a position that you don't need others. Then you should attract less dominating people. You seem to have good insight and to be willing to admit to your weaknesses. That is a big step. Caring About You - billieJ

[Rmdctc]

Have you tired therapy to work through this?

[BrokenNBeautiful]

can't afford therapy, not to mention I choose not to go to therapy; been there done that. Abused there; can't trust them anymore.

thanks anyway.

[BrokenNBeautiful]

Also, therapy seems to reinforce, for me dependency issues.

One way I attract maternal/parental people in my life is by making the diclosure of problems I am having the focus of conversations.

[ADoseofReality]

i alwys seem 2 atract ppl hoo r dummer thin mee...........but thin wut kan u expct i AM teh smrtest aftir all.

Originally Posted by ADoseofReality

i alwys seem 2 atract ppl hoo r dummer thin mee...........but thin wut kan u expct i AM teh smrtest aftir all.

Are you saying that people with Dependent Personality Disorder are dumb?

[Pup]

I hope not, they are not dumb, just struggling.

[ADoseofReality]

Originally Posted by psychee

Are you saying that people with Dependent Personality Disorder are dumb?

no dummer thn the rest uv tha mortals.

Originally Posted by Pup

I hope not, they are not dumb, just struggling.

I agree. They're not dumb.

Originally Posted by ADoseofReality

no dummer thn the rest uv tha mortals.

This doesn't clarify your first post. If you don't have this type of personality problem, why do you post here?

[onlyme2]

I am the total opposite... I am needy and insecure and want people to take care of me but I always seem to meet the types who want to leave me so I always end up all alone

Originally Posted by onlyme2

I am the total opposite... I am needy and insecure and want people to take care of me but I always seem to meet the types who want to leave me so I always end up all alone

Are they initially of the rescuer variety?

[onlyme2]

psychee.... I don't know, I guess I am just vulnerable and some people can sense that so they first pretend to care then after they get what they want, they're gone, maybe I'm just being paranoid

Originally Posted by onlyme2

psychee.... I don't know, I guess I am just vulnerable and some people can sense that so they first pretend to care then after they get what they want, they're gone, maybe I'm just being paranoid

Onlyme2,
I think I got it wrong the first time around. rescuers = maternal. No, I don't think you're paranoid. Sounds to me that you're coming accross people that take advantage of your vulnerability, is this correct?

[ADoseofReality]

Originally Posted by psychee

This doesn't clarify your first post. If you don't have this type of personality problem, why do you post here?

becuz theres no rul tht sez i cant

[BrokenNBeautiful]

yes, psychee, I am moving away from talking to everyone about problems; cause then ppl think they have to "fix" me.

B.

[El-ahrairah]

Originally Posted by Miracle1986

You post reminds me so much of myself. I am always very needy, etc too
Even my husband, I fear, feels more like my care-taker than my companion.

same here with my bf...
I act like a kid without trying or having control...
I do anything to get attention from him

[Melbadaze]

Actually, the people that get attracted to "needy" type people, are far from maternal, they normally are trying to fill the hole with themselves.

[Miss Laura]

God guys thats very much like me.

I have work colleagues who are older than I am and they are VERY motherly towards me. People think I am younger than my friends when ironically I am older I have no idea why people want to mother me. I do not act immature or anything. I act like me!! Confused so am I. My friends have said they mother me because they feel/see/sense something that I need etc. I am still confused

[BrokenNBeautiful]

Yes, I feel just as uncomfortable as they say they feel. I hate this feeling, like everybody thinks they have to take care of me.

I can't be around my roommate right now cause he just seems to automatically be irritated with me when I show my face. I get this vibe, "What do you need now, Billi?" Ugh.

B.

[barleysmile]

I can't say I've successfully changed but I do know a technique. You change your thoughts. Pick a mantra word like 'beware' or 'dominant' or 'strength' and when you see people no matter what the discussion is this word is floating around in the back of your mind. It changes your body language and your responses to people on a subconscious level. For emotional abusers I use 'beware'. For a boss or authority figure I would use 'strength'. Whatever is the image you want to project of yourself. Make sure you are speaking of yourself and not the person you're with. Sounds nutty but fight fire with fire.
Good luck.
Good post by the way.