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#1
May 11, 2009, 09:47 PM
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I've already used every title that would fit! I had a good run of not bursting into tears at every turn. It's over apparently. Today I walked around Meijers (like Walmart) with tears streaming down my face. I wanted to just crumple on the floor in tears. I felt so sad. I hurt--my feet, my legs, my hands. I don't want to be this weight. I MISS ME!! The me that was thin, the me that could move without pain, the me that was happy, the me that had love, the me that could fix things, the me that made people happy. I just felt sad and like I wanted to be invisible. I thought I was doing better. I went so long without feeling like this. Walking down the isles one of the thing I was thinkin was I hate that I've put on so much weight, but what did I want then?? Food. Comfort. Food=Comfort, comfort=food. It's a stupid cycle. And I wanted to walk without pain, without foot-drop, without almost falling. I wanted to be one of the people walking along holding hands, stopping to get a kiss. Yes, I was jealous and feeling self-pity. I have people I need to be strong for, people that count on me and look up to me. I am so very lucky, I know. I am blessed and loved. I just was having a moment I guess. I'm fine. Deep breaths and calming thoughts. Maybe I'll visit the lagoon or my fuzzy world. I just needed to write this out I guess. I'm sorry.
__________________
____________________________________ "We can't talk at the same time! It doesn't work like that! I talk, you talk, I talk, you talk!!" ~ Peanut 
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#2
May 12, 2009, 09:44 AM
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No need for sorry. I'm sorry you are feeling so yuck about yourself, we see a beautiful, caring, sensitive person on this side of the screen.
Hugs to you (((((((( cantstopcrying ))))))))  
__________________
 Pegasus Got a quick question related to mental health or a treatment? Ask it here General Q&A Forum “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by it's ability to climb a tree, it will live it's whole life believing that it is stupid.” - Albert Einstein |
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#3
May 12, 2009, 10:07 AM
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Thank you sooo much! I really needed to hear that!
__________________
____________________________________ "We can't talk at the same time! It doesn't work like that! I talk, you talk, I talk, you talk!!" ~ Peanut
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#4
May 12, 2009, 11:31 AM
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(((((((((can'tstopcrying))))))))))
No need for sorry, I am here sitting with you.
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http://purplebutterfly.psychcentral.net/ |
 cantstopcrying
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#5
May 12, 2009, 11:40 AM
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 (((((((((((((((( Can ))))))))))))))) love furry paws  
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| cantstopcrying
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#6
May 12, 2009, 11:42 AM
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(((((((((((((((((((cantstopcrying))))))))))))))))))))
We don't see all the horrible things you named... We see someone who's caring, compassionate, beautiful and wonderful. I'm sorry you're feeling so horrible about yourself at the moment. There;s no need for you to be sorry for giving yourself an outlet... Take care of you tonight, let yourself cry if you need to..
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| cantstopcrying, Rohag
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#7
May 12, 2009, 12:10 PM
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((((((((((cantstopcrying)))))))))))))
No need to be sorry. Letting it all out is much better for you than keeping everything bottled up.
__________________
Rebecca "If you're going through hell -- keep going." - Winston Churchill It's better to live your own destiny imperfectly than to live an imitation of somebody else's life with perfection. - Elizabeth Gilbert Bring on the wonder, we got it all wrong, we pushed you down deep in our souls, so hang on. Bring on the wonder, bring on the song, I pushed you down deep in my soul for too long. - Susan Enan http://igetupagain.wordpress.com/ |
| cantstopcrying
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#8
May 12, 2009, 01:47 PM
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thank you all so much. I really truly appreciate the support and the fact that so many of you aren't totally sick of me!!
__________________
____________________________________ "We can't talk at the same time! It doesn't work like that! I talk, you talk, I talk, you talk!!" ~ Peanut
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#9
May 12, 2009, 02:11 PM
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Hello Sweetie....
I'm sorry your heart is sad. If I could hug you and gently wipe away your alligator tears I would. Tough it's very good that they can come out when they need to flow. I can feel your tears - literally. cantstopcrying Means LOVE
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#10
May 12, 2009, 03:09 PM
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Oh thank you so very very much!! I truly appreciate it.
__________________
____________________________________ "We can't talk at the same time! It doesn't work like that! I talk, you talk, I talk, you talk!!" ~ Peanut
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#11
May 12, 2009, 07:51 PM
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Have you been reading my diary????
Boy do I know those feelings and it is a vicious circle isn't it. Once I even thought I was making progress. I was wrong. You have no need to say "sorry". If it helps to write it down (and sometimes it does) by all means have at it. You are a very special person in my book. kebs
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#12
May 12, 2009, 09:08 PM
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oh kebs thank you so much! Sometimes I feel like I'm the only the one---not that I'm happy you go through this too, but I'm glad to know that such a wonderful frog knows what I'm going through.
__________________
____________________________________ "We can't talk at the same time! It doesn't work like that! I talk, you talk, I talk, you talk!!" ~ Peanut
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#13
May 13, 2009, 09:57 AM
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(((((((((((cantstop))))))))))))
How are you feeling today?
__________________
I love your faults because they are part of you and I love you. --my BFF [center][b][color=#92d050][font=Verdana] |
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#14
May 14, 2009, 07:24 AM
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Thank you so much for checking on me. I'll be glad when this week is over!! Bad yesterday with the MRI and PFT tests I had, another doctor appointment today, brakes on van need fixed today, get fitted for new leg braces today. Trying to stay positive--not sure I can swing it, but I'm gonna try
__________________
____________________________________ "We can't talk at the same time! It doesn't work like that! I talk, you talk, I talk, you talk!!" ~ Peanut
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#15
May 14, 2009, 08:38 AM
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(((((((((((cantstop)))))))))))
 today. YOU CAN DO IT!! I have faith in you and if you don't have faith in you, you may borrow some of mine!!
__________________
I love your faults because they are part of you and I love you. --my BFF [center][b][color=#92d050][font=Verdana] |
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#16
May 20, 2009, 10:03 PM
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Thank you so very much! I did make it through...MRI is ok--I really DO have a brain! PFT is ok. Have to have more blood work, though. Don't know what he didn't like, but I have to have more done. My braces are going o be different than my current titanium ones. These will be white plastic-type with the back totally closed in. Ick. However, they are kind enough to put the Old English D on it in blue for me for the Detroit Tigers baseball team. I'm really productive this week at work, but not so hot on keeping the tears away....and I don't know why!!!!! blah
__________________
____________________________________ "We can't talk at the same time! It doesn't work like that! I talk, you talk, I talk, you talk!!" ~ Peanut
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#17
May 21, 2009, 03:50 PM
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Quote:
(((((((((((cantstop)))))))))))) Glad your MRI is ok. I think we always knew you had a brain though  That's great that they put the Old English D on your new braces! Sorry the tears keep coming  keep posting and letting it out here. I care and we all care
__________________
I love your faults because they are part of you and I love you. --my BFF [center][b][color=#92d050][font=Verdana] |
| cantstopcrying
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