Hear We Go Again

I want to run away I want to go somewhere where there is no hurt no pain where nnobody judges me for whatever reason where people talk to each other with kindness and care.

I do not want to be married any more I do not want to be my daughters mother at this point in time I do not have the strength to deal with her and her demands and him and his demands

Why is it always about what I am not doing and not about what I have done or do do they think thye are perfect pfff

I do not want to cry anymore I am tired drained completly of any emotion other then anger and tears for so many years I dreamed of
having a family husband kids the dog cat etc now I wish thta wish had never come true some days well to be honest it seems most days are the same.

My daughter tells me I am fat lazy no good for nothing excuse for a mother and these words are suppose to run off my back like water I do not think so.
My hubby well he starts on me tonight about getting off my bum and finding a job ?? what about him he does nothing all day heck you would be lucky sometimes not to get yelled at for not making his lunch pfff

My therapist wants me to simply leave them but I cannot do that because that would be breaking one of my own rules
aww heck do not get me wrong I do love them but I just wish that they would all dry up sometimes.

I have no idea how I am meant to go out to work when I cannot even control my own emotions I mean come on "yes may I help you" customer "oh yes please can I are you all right why are you crying"
"Oh no reason just cannot help it" as if lol.

Oh and not to meantion my insiders Soirry i will stop now
can hardly see any way for the tears.

Im sorry you are feeling this way. I can understand about your husband, my bf is the same way. Thankfully my son is too young to hate me yet. I really think you need to get away, not necessarily leave for good but just go away for a week or 2 or even a month. Do you have any family or friends you could stay with? I hope things work out for you soon. I can strongly sympathise with you. I myself am trying to organise to get away for a few days. Good luck and keep your chin up. Dont let their rude and petty comments towards you get you down, you are better than that!

((((((((((((((((((( starrina )))))))))))))))))))

Running away sometimes seems like the obvious fix for us because just as you mentioned people may not judge us. I believe though our lifeis what we make it whereever we are and that the only person responsible for our feelings is us. You've taken the steps to reach out to others, so continue to hang in there.