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#1
Jun 07, 2009, 04:52 PM
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I wonder if you are still reading me since I have posted so much in the last week and it is always the same, but here it goes.
Today has been even worse than the last few days, I just cannot stop crying, I feel I am becoming obsessive about my situation, just cannot stop thinking and I am so worried this will never stop. I have realised today that I need help, I have a good therapist, she cares but I dont feel she is helping much. Right now I feel I have so many problems, so many issues no one will be able to help me. Has anyone ever contacted their Employee Assistance Program from work, I work for an American Company but I live in Canada, it is an option, but I do worry about the confidentiality aspect of it and also can they really help? I am slowly cutting myself off from the very few people I have in my life, I have 2 aging parents that I only communicate with by e-mail, I dont want to worry them and they just dont understand and I feel so selfish because they might not have much time left and I havent spoken to them in a month and I havent seen them since january 1st. They are in better shape than I but still.... I have two beautiful daughters (one lives with me) they are quite worried about me but I just dont know what to tell them anymore.... I have an ex who still loves me but I think he is getting fed up with all this drama. I have been having bad thoughts like never before... I just dont know where to get help or if there is help out there.. I was so glad 2 months ago when I found this site because it made me feel I was not alone and someone helped me in chat today, at least did not have those dark thoughts for those few minutes but now as always I am starting to think I am just being a persona non grata here too because of all my ramblings. I need help |
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#2
Jun 07, 2009, 05:18 PM
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Years ago I did contact my EAP. For the most part it was a positive experience. If a supervisor is doing things correctly, they should work through the EAP when someone is depressed. For two years I was a supervisor and needed to work with someone who was depressed. When a supervisor works with EAP and has an open mind, things do work out much better. You remind me so much about my own experience at work. There came a time when my supervisor began to make my life hell and did everything he could to push me out. It destroyed my self confidence and made me extremely depressed. When someone is as depressed as you are now it is almost impossible to fight back. You may need to get involved with a more intensive program IOP etc to get the help you need. My heart goes out to you. I was in your same position three years ago.
 PS you will NEVER be personna non grata here
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Lea 
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 idontknow13
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#3
Jun 07, 2009, 05:20 PM
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Sometimes "just rambling" helps. You will never have to worry about not being heard. Many of us are shaking our heads in agreement as we read what you have written.
Please keep posting. Your thoughts have to be going a mile a minute. Maybe writing everything down will help put some order to your thoughts. ((((( idontknow13 )))))  kebs
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 kebs
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| idontknow13
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#4
Jun 08, 2009, 06:09 PM
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(((((((((((((idontknow)))))))))))))))
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As long as people aren't asking me if i'm all right, i am alright. |
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#5
Jun 09, 2009, 10:06 PM
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IDK, it does sound like you really need to be on medication. Are you seeing a pdoc along with your therapist? I am strongly urging you to do so if you are not. Also, you may not get it right on the first pdoc or therapist you see. If you don't feel the therapist is helping you, be honest with her. You might be surprised at what she has to say. It's your life, your health, it's up to you to find the help you need.
I know that probably sounds overwhelming but it isn't. Just keep trying different doctors or therapist until you "click." And if you are on meds already, I think you might suggest a change (I'm surprised your doc hasn't.) If you aren't, find a pdoc you trust and ask for help!
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 I'd rather have a visit, note or pretty picture than an "I'll say a prayer" or a "god bless you." Doesn't make me feel better, no meaning to me for sure. Can't stop you from praying and blessing me, and if that makes you feel better feel free.  But keep it to yourself please, don't tell me. And let's all respect each other's feelings. With kindness, support and "sweet dreamings."
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| idontknow13
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#6
Jun 09, 2009, 11:46 PM
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((((((((((idontknow))))))))))))
I have no advice but I wanted you to know I'm going to keep reading your posts no matter how many you write. Take care.
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Rebecca "If you're going through hell -- keep going." - Winston Churchill It's better to live your own destiny imperfectly than to live an imitation of somebody else's life with perfection. - Elizabeth Gilbert Bring on the wonder, we got it all wrong, we pushed you down deep in our souls, so hang on. Bring on the wonder, bring on the song, I pushed you down deep in my soul for too long. - Susan Enan http://igetupagain.wordpress.com/ |
| idontknow13
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#7
Jun 10, 2009, 12:34 PM
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ditto to what justfloating said, no advice other than not to give up, but sending hugs
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 Yesterday I was so clever, so I want to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself. |
| idontknow13
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#8
Jun 10, 2009, 04:27 PM
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((((idk))))
I have used EAP in the past. It is confidential, so you can feel free to be honest. EAP is expected to be short-term, which is the drawback. They can help you through the present and if they decide that further assistance is needed, arrangements will be made to continue treatment (requiring you to make some payments). If you plan to continue with the therapist that you currently see, make sure that each knows about the other. Allowing t's to exchange information can provide quicker results. It's an opportunity to work on a larger amount of issues in a relatively short period of time. I work with 6 diff. mental health providers, and all have my written permission to exchange information whenever they feel it's necessary. Shez |
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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