[Quiplash]

This is only my second post here on PsychCentral. (I already introduced myself in the New Members section, that was my first post.)

I'm actually doing pretty well overall, but I am terrified that I will fall back into a serious depression. I've had several serious episodes of depression, each worse than the previous one.

Work stress was a major contributor to my depression. I'm now back at work after a two-and-a-half year sick leave for treatment of depression. I had to fight like hell to make it back from the brink, and I'm just so afraid that I'm going to land up in some of the same situations at work that triggered my depressions in the first place.

I can't leave my job because I am very close to being able to take an early retirement and get out of this situation. I only have to hang in there for one more year and then I can take early retirement, which is what I plan to do. I just have to find some way to survive in this job without falling back into a depression. I don't know if I can do that or not.

[Skeezyks]

I'm sorry you find yourself to be in this most difficult situation. I don't know as I have any particularly great suggestions for you either. I presume, from what you wrote, you have some mental health professionals in your life... perhaps a mental health therapist & possibly a psychiatrist. I probably don't have to tell you it will be important to work closely with these individuals. Posting here on PC, reading & replying to other members' posts can help too. At least I have found that to be true in my own case.

One of the concerns in a situation such as you describe, I think, is that one can begin to worry about worrying. You begin to notice some signs you interpret as perhaps being the return of your depression, or increased anxiety, & so you start to worry about it. Soon you find yourself worrying about the fact that you're worrying. It can become a vicious circle... one that can lead to a downward spiral. There are as you can imagine lots of articles, in PsychCentral's archives, on the subject of worry. Here are links to some of them:

https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-to...bout-worrying/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/5-ways...what-if-cycle/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/what-t...orry-thoughts/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/when-worrying-takes-over/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/catast...ase-scenarios/

I wish you well...

P.S. Here's another link. This time to an article in PC's archives that discusses strategies for recovering from a relapse. I just happened on this & thought it might be of interest.

https://psychcentral.com/blog/7-stra...rom-a-relapse/

[Fuzzybear]

Welcome ..

[Quiplash]

Originally Posted by Skeezyks

One of the concerns in a situation such as you describe, I think, is that one can begin to worry about worrying. You begin to notice some signs you interpret as perhaps being the return of your depression, or increased anxiety, & so you start to worry about it. Soon you find yourself worrying about the fact that you're worrying.

Yes, I was talking about this with my psychiatrist last week, and a lot of the problem is how I am looking at this situation at work, and not so much the work itself. I am feeling more anxious than usual and she has prescribed an anti-anxiety medication for me to take regularly along with my antidepressants.

I also think that it is helpful to have a place like this to vent. Thank you for posting the links to the articles, Skeezyks. I will read them all.

[Quiplash]

I also decided to buy and install the MoodKit app on my iPhone to help me with my feelings of depression and anxiety (I have read Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy by David D. Burns a long time ago and I know that Cognitive Behavioural Therapy is a useful tool.) Now I just need to remember to use the app regularly!