i hate myself

im just gonna die young like an asshole. i suck. ill never win anything. Im a pansy. i don't care what any of you say it's how i am. women have always hated me.

plus, i've always fed up. im not a real man. never will be. i mean nothing to anyone. dont friend request me or comment on my profile since it's not wanted.

graceland, how long have you felt this way about yourself? a short time? a long time? Have you ever tried to improve your self esteem by counseling with a therapist or reading a self help book?

Is there something at all that you like about yourself? Just one little thing?

When I was in my early twenties I went through a period of time when I hated everything about my life. I wasn't pretty enough, smart enough, or worthy of friends. As time passed I learned to accept myself. I acknowledged that I will never be a beautiful woman but being average became okay.

Today there are still things I hate about myself. I wish I had friends but don't know how to find them. I worry that I am not a good mother.

I wish you luck in sorting out your problems.

i never will sort them out so...

Never will sort all of them??? I am right there with you on that one. I know there are just some things about myself that I don't think I can ever fix.

Sometimes simple things for another person seems insurmountable for me. For example paying my bills. I don't read my mail and don't keep bills in the same place month to month so quite a few times I have had my electric or water turned off not because I didn't have the money but because I simply neglected to pay them. I still can't keep the mail sorted but I can call the offices to pay my electric and water. That is the best I can do at this time with that problem.

And that is a relatively simple problem. I have many problems as it appears that you do also and I understand how truly overwhelming it can be when you cannot solve them.

Start with something relatively small that you want to be different in your life. Sit down with a paper and pen and just dream away at what you would like your life to be. Make short term goals like taking out the trash, doing a load of laundry, cooking a meal. Then think about what would be a long term goal. It may take some time to find out what that may be. One of my long term goals is returning to work part time. I am not ready yet and don't know when I will be, if ever, but it is something I want even though it is beyond my reach today.

It sounds easy on paper I know but I am struggling to do some of the things I ask you to do. For example, cooking a meal. Sounds simple enough but I don't have any clean dishes to cook with. Usually I heat something in the microwave that doesn't require dishes.

If there were only one thing you could do a bit better during this month what might it be? Not doing it perfect but just doing it better.

When you have a list of your short term goals pick one thing and if at first you can't conquer it try a different solution. Keep working at it until you can manage one small thing in your life.

I, like you, am slow to trust people because in the past even my so called friends have pulled nasty pranks on me and hurt my feelings. Yep, indeedy I know well how many d*cks are in this world. For that reason I don't ever want to have another intimate relationship. The risk of the pain is not worth it to me.

You must be in a lot of pain to hurt yourself on purpose. I have done that in my past. I would hurt myself mostly when I was a teenager with only a couple of times in adulthood. Why did I stop? I haven't a clue. Perhaps you could post in the forum for self injury. I am limited to know how to respond to self injury and think maybe somebody who has more similar experiences can benefit that problem.

But even when I don't have answers I am here to listen.

Graceland....

It sounds like your having a really difficult time right now. I think people are doing the best they can to be here for you and give you support. I know I am.

Everyone here comes with their own trials and tribulations. Sometimes we try to be helpful, but for one reason or another (which may have NOTHING to do with you), it doesn't come out right or it isn't as helpful as we would like it to be.

I'm sorry that YOU chose self injury over using other more positive coping skills. I don't appreciate your insinuation that WE or ANY of us were the cause of your decision. Everyone here needs to take responsibility for their own actions and be accountable to themselves first and foremost. You made a poor choice of how to cope with your feelings and emotions. No one else here is responsible for that poor choice but you.

I really wish and suggest that you find a T to work with. I think you need someone closer to you to be in your camp. Someone you can go to when you need to talk and someone who can help you learn and implement those more positive coping skills that are available to you. Ultimately though as it is your choice to get help or not get help, it is also your choice to hurt yourself or not to hurt yourself.

I can support you in working towards healthier coping, and I can do my best, within the limits of my personal capabilities, to be here for you. But I can not and will not support your self injuring or self destructive behaviors.

I wish you peace......

If you are on the forums, I believe there is an ignore button you can click on for each person you don't want to get a post from.

If you are in chat, I am not aware of anything like this feature and maybe your best bet is to not go into chat until your are feeling less vulnerable and are more stable.

just did that. thanks.

Yes there is an ignore feature in chat and I know from experience it works lmao.....

I sugets that you make a good pbservation - as objective as possibel - of al your facts. The people fanily you have your marks your job..

I am sure that you WILL fine something positive in there...

"I will not amount to anything" cannot be true about anything. I know how you feel - i felt this way many times b4 and i still feel worthless sometimes. But then life passes by and better times come

wow.....sorry i sent you that friend request,i didnt realize that you was not interested. I thought maybe after you accepted it,i said something to offend you.Anyways,i am sorry to hear that you apparently going thru a very rough time now. Hope you feel better soon.

actually, I know I am a real man now. No ***** woman (not all are though) will tell me otherwise. I've got far better self esteem than I had when I first came here. Thank you for all your support.